


Technicolor

by Verseau_87



Category: Glee
Genre: ArtistKurt, Friendship, Humor, M/M, NyadaBlaine, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Warnings for future chapters, romance eventually, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-03-30 09:42:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 33
Words: 71,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13948911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verseau_87/pseuds/Verseau_87
Summary: Kurt hadn't expected much from life, he made it his own. He was content with being alone, and artist, and quiet. When suddenly there seemed to be a reason to talk and make noise. Blaine Anderson was totally unexpected...but not totally unwantedSlow burning romance, ArtistKurt, NyadaStudentBlaine, Klaine, love, humor, drama, warnings for later chapters





	1. Prologue

Prologue

There is something to be said for the way an artist's mind works. They're creative and very attentive sure, but what really intrigues, is the way they can manipulate the materials given to them to make something inspiring and beautiful.

Like a magic trick.

Kurt supposes some people would call it magic of the mind, or a creative spirit. But Kurt always used creationism as a form of escape, whether it be singing, acting, or making art. 

After years of trying to figure out his path in life, he finally concluded that the only true goal of his was to create, to make, to build. He decided to use art as a form of communication, instead of words. He expressed his own mind better when he didn't speak. 

It was very therapeutic for him. But he guessed that some people never saw it that way. Only saw him as weird, aloof, anti-social.

It wasn't that Kurt hated being around other people, he loved his friends, well the few of them he had. It was just people never really understood or appreciated his mind or soul, so he had no time for them. Why waste the time he had been given, just to please other people?

So he would rather be labeled a freak or loser, than have to deal with the pressure of keeping a happy face for others. He didn't have a happy face, hadn't had one since he was 8.

He had passive, and bored, sometimes irritation. That was about as much emotion as he gave anything in life now. 

So he was a second year art student, in an apartment in the dark, at 3am, with cold coffee in a mug beside him, his art supplies all over the desk in front of him, half eaten cheesecake on the table behind him, thinking about life and the merit of being a freak.

Maybe that was the insomnia talking, the Ambien hadn't really worked tonight.

He rolled his eyes as he heard his roommate snoring behind her bedroom door, she still didn't believe him when he told her that little fact.


	2. Chapter 1

6am on the dot and the obnoxious vocal exercises start while the shower is turned on, barely muffling it. Kurt's ears protest at the noise, but there isn't much he can do about it. Yelling is beyond him.

The vocal exercises from her voice box, continue on as she retreats back into her bedroom, to get dressed in more or less obnoxious clothing that he detests. His eyebrows furrow a little as her notes get higher, almost squeaking to herself, and he flinches slightly on the highest one before sighing once she was finished screeching like a cat in heat.

She reappears from her room, wearing something that could only be described as college slut chic, but he doesn't say anything, petty arguments about her clothing choices aren't worth it.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" She asked as she starts the coffee machine on the counter near where he was working at his desk, and then looks at him pointedly as he glances up at her for half a second.

"Barely."

He had learned shortly after moving in with her that one word answers are better than not answering her at all. She seemed to get even more unbearable for his brain if he didn't answer, so one was better for both of them than nothing at all.

She sighed but said nothing as she made two cups and passed one carefully onto Kurt's workspace, as he watched it with narrowed eyes until it stopped by his hand.

He raised his eyebrows at her in thanks and she walked to take a seat at the kitchen table, so resuming the comforting silence from before she awoke.

Rachel was her name, Rachel Berry, 21 years old, from Lima Ohio just like him, they went to the same high school, and she had two gay dads who were once famous Broadway stars. Now she was aspiring to be one herself, had gotten into Nyada, and was well on her way to being a star.

Kurt hadn't really known her in high school, but he knew who she was. The obnoxious girl in the horrid sweaters with short legs, and a loud mouth.

She had tried to get Kurt to join Glee club then, but he had refused. Preferring at 17 and 18, to be elusive, tough, and invisible. He had tried so hard to remain the outsider until he left, and hadn't wanted to bring attention upon himself.

It had worked.

He had graduated eventually, and nobody ever found out the real reason why he was held back a year between sophomore and Junior, and that's the way he wanted it to stay.

When he eventually had to leave Lima, when he was 20, he had run into her unexpectedly and she had stopped to say hi while he was looking through apartment/roommate want ads. She had pointed out that a roommate of hers had just left, and maybe Kurt should stay with her.

They weren't close, but at least he could for sure call her a friend now.

"My duet partner for my classes will be coming over tonight to work on our song, just a heads up." She said as she grabbed a fruit snack out of the refrigerator before grabbing her jacket, satchel and shoes.

He nodded but knew she was waiting for acknowledgement.

"Ok."

And with that small reply she was gone. 

Kurt stared up at the clock. 6:58. He had school too today, so with a stretch and a small heave of breath, he hauled himself out of his chair and into the shower.

The School Of Visual Arts was the one place that Kurt truly felt appreciated. It was safe and the people were friendly, although most of them were just as chatty as Rachel, but they didn't automatically disregard Kurt for not speaking. 

It was nice to be accepted. Plus everyone loved his wacky art.

He applied for the school when his grandmother died. He didn't want to go to college, and he thought at 20, he would be a barista for the rest of his life. His grandmother's lawyer, an old friend of hers had contacted him about some money that had been left to him.

$70.000

Kurt's eyes nearly fell out of his head when he saw the figure on the paper. He signed for it, knowing that it would go to other places if he didn't take it. Along with what his father had left him when he died, he could afford to leave Lima and go to school in New York.

It had been a dream of his once. And Broadway had to, when he was 10. But dreams change, Kurt wanted to become an art teacher, so he needed the training and the grades.

His teachers in both of his classes loved him, and enthusiastically gave him his extra credit assignments, knowing that he would wow them with his next piece.

The piece he was working on at home, was a metaphor for the fashion world. Which he used to have a toe in before. He used to be very fashion conscious, but his clothing and hair choices had taken a dive from the normal. Black clothes seemed to work better for him, hoodies and jeans were his staple choices. And usually a beanie hat to stop the stares.

Because his hair and the piercings...well that was another story.

"Hey Kurt."

He turned to regard Lara, she was a girl about 2 inches shorter than him, with purple hair down to her waist, and he gave her a small smile.

"Hey." He answered in a friendly way, even though his voice barely left the monotonous range and she walked beside him as they made their way to their class.

"Want to meet up for lunch at Rene's today?" She asked as they reached the doorway of their class, knowing that this was the best time to talk to Kurt, because he sat far at the back of the room.

He eyed her for a second. Thinking about it. Rene's was a little sandwich shop just off campus, that had an amazing duck salad sandwich and cappuccinos on the menu. He gave her a small grin.

"Ok."

"Cool, see you after class." She said as she walked to her own seat and Kurt made his way to his.

This class was 3 hours long, but the students had the opportunity for breaks all the time, it wasn't just a sit down and study class. It was making art, and when you're in the zone you move around. 

They all had a desk, a stool, an easel, and supplies. But Kurt preferred to bring his own brushes and pencils. It worked better for him.

He decided today to draw Lara, and coffee.

His teacher enjoyed watching him splash watery purple paint onto the canvas, and she appraised him for his attention to detail with the steam of the coffee mug.

He knew he was good, which is why he decided that this path was for him.

He only had two classes, Fine arts and Art therapy, but when he finally got his graduate degrees he could teach others the joy and escapism of art. It's what he wanted, he didn't just want to be an art teacher, he wanted to be an art therapist.

Inspire young people to create rather than destruct.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

When class was over, Lara was waiting for him by the door, she was a good friend of his. She seemed to understand his need for silence, and she had no problem with not talking. It was comfortable, being around her and not having the pressure of conversation.

They walked slowly to Rene's, enjoying each other's company, Lara never tried to touch him, or link arms or anything which was a good thing. Kurt had a tendency to freak out when people touched him. Even handshakes were off limits.

Life really wasn't as simple as some people made it out to be.

At Rene's they found a small table in one corner and both ordered their favourite sandwiches and drinks. Kurt was admiring some of the new artwork they had up on display, and Lara remained silent for a while. When the waitress brought their lunch over, Lara reached for her coffee first and then smiled up at Kurt.

"You should think about selling your art you know," she told him and he raised an eyebrow at her, but didn't respond, "you could make so much money, and I saw what you made today Kurt."

She smirked at him and he blushed a little. 

"Don't worry I liked it, but you could really do something with that talent of yours."

"Thanks." he murmured as he brought his own coffee cup to his lips, blowing slightly onto it as he did so that the liquid wouldn't burn him.

"You're gay right?" Lara blurted out, almost making Kurt drop the sandwich he had just picked up to bite and he glared at her slightly before she narrowed her eyes back at him.

"Why?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Just wondered."

They went back into comfortable silence after that, and as they ate their lunches, Kurt thought about what she said, why did it matter?

Is that her way of asking if he was straight or single? because she was going about it the wrong way.

"Yes." He said and she looked at him confused.

"Huh?"

"Yes." He said again pointedly and she smiled.

"Ok cool, so am I." She said and he raised both eyebrows at that.

"Unexpected." he said and she giggled at him.

"Don't look so shocked Kurt, its ok, I just wanted to know for the alliance at school."

"Alliance?"

"LGBTQ club, or gay/straight alliance, you've heard of it right?" 

"No."

"Really?" she was a little stunned, but Kurt hadn't even known there was a club in school for that, he thought that college in New York would not have segregated clubs like that, but obviously some people still had issues and formed a club of their own, "did you want to come along?"

He looked back at her with a bored look.

"No."

She laughed again, and he smiled at her.

"Sometimes I wished I didn't join either." She admitted and they continued to sit and have small chat for a while before she looked at the time and excused herself for work.

Which reminded Kurt that he had work too this afternoon. He glanced at the clock as he watched Lara hastily leave with a wave, 1pm, he had to be at work at 1:30, he could take a casual stroll beforehand and be a few minutes early or late.

With that in mind he threw his lunch rubbish away and walked out of the door. It wasn't exactly fresh air out here, but he knew a place where he could get a feel of it. Central park.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Work was exhausting today, Kurt had to work in a museum, an art museum. It was only a small one, and it didn't bring in that many people, but it was the only place he could find to work that didn't require him to interact with people. 

He knew he wasn't the most social butterfly, but at least he was quiet and didn't disturb anybody elses life. Unlike a few loud people in the museum this afternoon.

He sighed as he pulled the door open to the apartment. Removing his black boots and placing them in his own shoe rack before closing the door and heading for the kitchen. 

Oh.

Rachel was already home and entertaining a guest. A very handsome looking guest with gelled hair. Kurt thought maybe he had stepped back in time to the 50's by the sight of that hair, but he shook it off and made his way past them.

"Oh Kurt, you're home." Rachel said over excitedly, it made Kurt grit his teeth a little, "I want you to meet Blaine Anderson, my duet partner for our class assignments."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine had never met anyone quite like his duet partner for this assignment, Rachel Berry. Within the space of an hour in class together, he knew almost everything about her life, including her childhood, boyfriends, friends, dads, Broadway dreams, and vocal talents.

Anyone who was anyone at Nyada, knew who Rachel was. She had extremely amazing talent, and she was very hard working, and always strived to the best she could be. She was very driven and known around the college as a perfectionist. 

Blaine actually admired the woman.

He was confident in his abilities, but he had some insecurities but she didn't seem to have any of those. 

It was fascinating.

He had waited outside of Nyada's front entrance for her at 1pm, because he wanted to have lunch with her, and talk to her more. She seemed like she was going somewhere in life and if he could have more friends with her drive, maybe his own would pick up.

She was beautiful, even though Blaine was gay he could see it. And she had an air around her that screamed small town girl in a big pond.

But Blaine liked that, it made her more comfortable to be round. Especially knowing she had two gay dads, made Blaine feel even more comfortable just being himself around her.

It was just like himself, in a big city and coming from a small town. He grew up in Westerville, and went to an all boys private school called Dalton Academy. He was an honour student, and president of the Warblers in his senior year. Captain of the lacrosse team for a while and had a lot of extracurriculars on his resume for college.

When he got his acceptance letter to audition for Nyada, it was a dream come true, he had wanted to get into this school since he had first heard about it from the school councillor. It was one of the top schools in New York, the city of his dreams. 

And he always wanted to be on Broadway, and the fastest way to get there was to be a top student and his top school.

His audition had gone extremely well, but he knew that the school only accepted a certain number of students a year, so when he finally got his acceptance of attendance letter, he nearly screamed his mother's house down.

She had run into his room thinking he was hurt and then yelled at him not to scare like that before joining him in celebrating, she had always been supportive.

So now he was 20 years old, with an apartment of his own, a roommate he adored, and starting his third year at Nyada. The classes were very demanding and a lot of hard work but he loved it.

After lunch was over, which Rachel had offered to pay for, but Blaine being the gentleman he was raised as, paid for it, earning a huge grin and a hug from her. They walked back to her apartment to sit and talk, and work out what song choices they both had for the assignment.

As they spent nearly 3 hours discussing things, it was nearing 6pm, and the door of the apartment opened.

Blaine looked up and eyed the stranger quietly, while Rachel greeted him. Kurt. The name seemed to suit him. But what caught Blaine's attention more was the hair.

As Kurt removed his beanie hat, Blaine had to hold his breath. The top of his hair was fire truck red, and the sides were a little shaved shorter and coloured a deep purple, and he could see streaks of blonde and blue within the fringe at the front. And the piercing in his eyebrow and one in his lip made him look so untouchable. He was so obviously an artist, or a performer of some kind.

Rachel hadn't really told him a lot about her roommate, only that he was quiet and kept to himself a lot.

"-to meet Blaine Anderson, my duet partner for our class assignments."

Blaine's mind came back with a shock at Rachel's voice and he held out his hand on instinct towards Kurt. But Kurt didn't take it, he just smiled apologetically at Blaine's hand and offered him a small nod instead as a greeting.

"Hi, Kurt," Blaine said a little awkwardly as he placed his hand back down, "it's nice to meet you."

"Hi." Kurt replied before pouring himself a glass of orange juice and tipping his head as he moved around them and disappeared down the hall.

"Was it something I did?" Blaine asked Rachel as he watched Kurt walk away with a confused expression and Rachel quickly shook her head.

"No, he just doesn't touch people, like at all." She explained, "it freaks him out."

Blaine raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh?"

"Yeah I accidently hugged him once, and he completely zoned out for a whole day, and then when I eventually asked him what's wrong he wouldn't talk to me for days." Rachel told him and Blaine furrowed his brows at her explanation, "but then he wrote on a piece of card, that he didn't like to be touched without permission, so in the end I accepted it and we moved on."

"Did you ask him why?"

"It's not my business." She said airily and shrugged, while Blaine frowned a little, "I think we're wasting time when we should be rehearsing."

She stood and moved towards the living area, and Blaine followed after her nodding along.

But he couldn't help but think of Kurt, who was in the shower by the sound of it, and wonder what had happened to him to make him like the way he is. It must be a lonely life if no-one can ever touch you.


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine was waiting as patiently as he could while Rachel went through her vocal exercises for their rehearsal. But as she got higher and higher he got a little bored and looked over to Kurt, who was now sitting at his own desk just next to the kitchen counter and working on something.

"Blaine?"

"Huh?" He looked back up at Rachel when she clapped her hands for his attention and he grimaced in apology, "sorry."

"Ok, so I was thinking maybe we should go through a few bars of each song, to get a feel for what one is best for us."

"That sounds great."

"Good," Rachel said with an excited grin and Blaine focused completely on her, trying to ignore the scribbling of a pencil on paper in the background, "so I think we should start with 'One Hand One Heart.'"

A quiet snort was heard from Kurt at her suggestion and she glared over at him for a moment before turning back to Blaine.

They ran through the first two lines, and then Blaine became uncomfortable with singing a song about making love with a woman, and Rachel agreed it didn't really have enough of their soul in it for their assignment.

They ran through a selection of others, such as, 'My Favourite Things', 'Broadway baby', 'Big Girls Don't Cry', 'Don't You Want Me Baby' and 'What The World Needs Now'. None of them seemed to fit just right, and Blaine was becoming a little distracted with the chuckling that came from Kurt when Rachel started to suggest other Broadway songs.

"Alright what is it, Mr smarty pants," she said after Kurt had laughed again when she suggested 'Just Can't Get Enough', and she stomped her way over to him, "you think you can come up with something better?"

He turned to look at her, a little irritation on his face but his bored expression had a little amusement in it. Blaine watched as he placed a finger over his bottom lip and chin, toying around with his piercing there, and Blaine had to turn away as he blushed a little when he realized he was watching his mouth.

"Candles." he said after deliberating and Rachel turned to Blaine with a confused expression.

Blaine raised his eyebrows and looked between Rachel and Kurt as she stood trying to figure out what Candles was.

"You mean by 'Hey Monday'?" He asked and Kurt nodded as he turned back to his desk and Rachel walked back over to Blaine while he searched goggle for the song and then played it for her.

She seemed to like the choice, and after Blaine had played it a few times, she wanted to rehearse that one. Blaine liked it too, and after rehearsing for over an hour, they had the perfect set up. 

They were excited because it was a risky selection but it also worked well with both of their ranges, and blended with their voices well. The lyrics were also not about love or anything so it didn't make any of them uncomfortable while singing it to each other.

They both thanked Kurt after they were done, who only acknowledged them with a tilt of his head and Rachel then asked Blaine if he was staying for dinner. He spared a glance at the back of Kurt, the red haired head bent down in concentration as his fingers worked over the paper in front of him and then he turned to Rachel with a smile.

"Sure."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Rachel had insisted on Blaine staying that night, because dinner conversation ran kind of long and she didn't want him making his way across half the city to get back to his place. He agreed and Rachel disappeared into her bedroom at about midnight and Blaine settled himself down on the couch.

The sound of light tinkering and scribbling from Kurt's desk in the kitchen was the only sound in the apartment and Blaine found it surprisingly soothing as he drifted to sleep.

He woke up at about 4am, with a horrible stiff sensation in his neck and with a groan he pulled himself off the couch and made his way to the bathroom. 

When he came back he walked into the kitchen and almost had a heart attack.

"I thought you would have been in bed by now." He said to Kurt as he tried to calm himself down.

Kurt didn't look up at him at all, just shrugged one shoulder and continued making whatever he was on the sheet of paper in front of him.

"Don't you sleep?" Blaine asked quietly as he moved into the kitchen to make himself a coffee.

"Insomnia." Kurt offered his reply and Blaine's brows furrowed.

"So how many hours do you usually get a night?"

"2."

"That must reek havoc on your artwork, right?"

Another shrug and Blaine turned back to the coffee machine, making one for himself and then one for Kurt. He placed Kurt's mug on the edge of his desk, watching Kurt looking at it nervously, or rather watching Blaine's hand.

"Can I see what you're working on?" Blaine asked as he tried to tilt his head to see over one of Kurt's shoulders, and Kurt stiffened his stance a little but then took a deep breath and relaxed slightly.

"Sure." he said almost hesitantly and Blaine grabbed a stool from the table and placed it down at the side of Kurt's desk, making sure not to have any form of contact.

As he watched Kurt work on his piece for a while, he could feel Kurt's eyes flick over to him every now and again, but he didn't look back. And after about 10 minutes, Kurt seemed to feel more relaxed because he moved some of his supplies out of the way, so that Blaine would be able to get a better view of his work.

Blaine threw him a smile and as Kurt took a break to drink his coffee, Blaine leaned forward a little to take a look.

"Wow," he said as he looked over all the different aspects of colour and form on the page, "you're really talented."

The artwork itself looked like a tornado, but it was what was inside it that really mattered. Furniture, people, animals, trees, there were some clocks, and statues, and ornaments too. The colours were blended enough to make it artistic, but not blended completely so that you could pick out every little detail and item in the picture.

There was a whole part just covered in sequins too, like the tornado had just swept up sequins from the desk and started spinning them around.

The intricate details of it were beautiful, and it was so chaotic.

"Chaos of life."

Kurt's soft voice made him startle and Blaine's head shot up to look at him, seeing Kurt's curious and soft gaze fixed on his face.

"Is that the title?" Blaine asked, finally finding his voice as he stared into almost dark sapphire coloured eyes.

Those eyes were so closed off and yet so soft and expressive at the same time. Blaine knew that didn't make any sense but right now in this moment he was stuck and couldn't look away. He could feel his eyes needing to blink but he didn't want to lose this moment.

Kurt nodded and then looked back down at his work, and the spell Blaine seemed to be under was broken.

Well...that was strange.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt had no idea what to think about Blaine. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy, but Kurt had been fooled by that kind of act before. 

He was more guarded now than he had been, and very meticulous about people.

Blaine seemed to want to talk to him and Kurt wanted to be polite so he did answer, although he was a little nervous as Blaine leaned in closer to look down at his artwork.

Blaine had been looking at every detail of his work with great interest and awe that Kurt felt like telling him something, and so he did. He didn't expect that stare though.

That was very discomforting. Not in a bad way, but Kurt couldn't tell what Blaine was thinking, only that his face seemed to say he was interested and infatuated. Kurt felt like smiling but he didn't, just nodded at Blaine's question and then broke their gaze by looking away.

Blaine was handsome, Kurt wouldn't deny that if asked, and there was something about the depths of his warm hazel, almost chocolate coloured eyes, that made Kurt's expression soften and his shoulders relax a little.

Blaine's presence was a good one, he decided. Maybe he could make a new friend.

"Where are you studying?" Blaine asked and Kurt flicked his gaze back over to those warm green swirled brown eyes and sipped his coffee before answering.

"School Of Visual Arts." Kurt replied as he took up a ball point pen and started scratching other details into the artwork.

"How's it been so far?" Blaine asked again and Kurt shrugged.

"Good."

There was a brief pause and Kurt thought Blaine was done talking but placed his chin on his hand and his elbow on the desk, looking at Kurt with a small amused smile.

"Do you always give such short and brief answers?" He laughed as he asked and Kurt couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as his lip quirked one side with amusement too.

"Usually."

Blaine laughed.

Kurt was just about to add a little more to their conversation when Rachel emerged from her bedroom.

"What's so funny?" She asked as she moved into the kitchen and Kurt didn't acknowledge her but Blaine turned to give her a grin.

"Kurt's being funny." He explained and she shot a look between them before starting on pulling together breakfast.

"That's a new one, I've never heard him say more than one word for months." She said quietly as she pulled eggs and fruit out of the refrigerator, "Kurt do you want breakfast today."

"No."

Blaine frowned at him a little, and before he could ask why Kurt wouldn't eat, Rachel interrupted.

"Blaine, would you like breakfast before you go home?"

Kurt saw Blaine stiffen a little as he seemed to realize that he still needed to go home, and he almost cracked a grin at the way his eyes widened. He politely declined Rachel's offer though, and began moving around to pack up his things and put his shoes back on.

Kurt was a little disappointed that he wasn't staying longer, but in the end, Blaine was Rachel's friend not his, so he doubted he would see Blaine again.

As he tried to concentrate on his work, ignoring the hustle and bustle going on around him now, he almost didn't catch the phrase that was directed at him.

"Bye Kurt." 

He turned around to see Blaine standing by the door with a small smile, Rachel standing next to him, they were both looking at him. Blaine with hope and amusement while Rachel stared at him with a little confusion.

"Bye Blaine." He replied, and the grin that spread across Blaine's face at his response was incredibly disarming for Kurt.

He almost, almost smiled himself.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt had never been so wrong about someone in his life. 

Blaine was very interesting, that much he knew. But the fact that Blaine had started hanging out at the apartment more, to hang out with both Rachel and Kurt, well that was new.

Usually friends that Rachel brought home, tended to think Kurt was weird and would keep their distance, not Blaine though.

Currently Kurt was engrossed in a particular article that one of his teachers had given to him about an upcoming project for their final grades this year, and Kurt was scoping through every detail of it he could. But Blaine was sitting next to him, reading through it too, without touching him.

Blaine was careful.

With the touching.

Not even Rachel was that careful and she was his roommate, and she had seen a freak out before.

Kurt was appreciative that Blaine seemed to understand and know just how close was too close for Kurt. And when Kurt stiffened his shoulders or shifted slightly in his seat, he knew he had become too close.

"What about that live model art piece?" Blaine pointed out and Kurt thought about it before shaking his head.

"Doubtful."

"Ok, what about the sculpture?" He tried again and Kurt turned to him with a raised eyebrow and Blaine gave him a grin, "what? You'll be good at whatever you choose."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Blaine said again with a smile that would melt ice, "I told you before, you're really talented Kurt."

"I'll think about it."

Rachel commandeered Blaine after that, for help with some things at Nyada, some dance routine and sheet music. Kurt went back to thinking about his final project. The live model would be a great idea, and really out there, but Kurt didn't have the money to hire a model to sit for about 6 weeks while he drew them.

And sculptures had never really interested him, he was more of a paper and pencil kind of artist. 

Not that he thought he couldn't do it, but he preferred the other type of art styles, even though if he could build a model it would add a few good things to his repertoire.

But he would leave it for now and decide later.

He watched Rachel and Blaine for a little while, doing some kind of spinning move, and then rolled his eyes as he got out his pencils for his still life drawing.

He had a bowl of fruit in front of him on his desk, but Kurt wasn't focused on them. They would be in the picture, but it was the metal knife he had placed against the bowl that he would put the main focus on. The teacher in that particular class always preferred a little macabre in the art pieces.

Blaine had somehow without Kurt's knowledge or awareness, moved back over to watch him at some point, and Kurt was almost startled as he shot his gaze over to him. Blaine put his hands up slightly.

"Didn't mean to startle you sorry." He said and Kurt ignored him again in favour of concentrating on the knife he was drawing, "so what's the deal with the knife?"

He was put off by the question a little, and his hand stilled for a second.

"What?"

"Is there a meaning for the knife being in the picture?" Blaine waited patiently as Kurt was drawing, and he sat quietly as Kurt thought about it.

"I'm not sure." Kurt admitted after a minute and Blaine looked a little surprised.

"Oh." Blaine said a little unsurely and quietly and Kurt turned to regard him with a curious gaze.

"Surprised?"

"Maybe, I thought artists always had a metaphor for everything they draw or paint." Blaine explained and Kurt allowed himself to think about that for a moment.

"I don't."

Blaine smiled at his answer and then let comfortable silence reign over them again, before Rachel came back from wherever she had disappeared to and began squawking again. Kurt winced a little as her voice rang in his ears.

"Blaine, I thought we could work on some of our acting class assignments together..." she started and Kurt tuned out her voice as Blaine moved away once more to go and work with her. 

Kurt couldn't understand how Blaine managed to keep a smile on his face when he spoke to Rachel, but as he glanced over and watched them gush about different projects he realized how similar they were. They were both well into performing and singing and Kurt understood the appeal, who wouldn't ever want to be famous.

Blaine had a more comfortable air about him though, where as Rachel was just static every time she entered a room.

He smiled inside at the image of her hair standing on end, and got an idea for another piece of work.

He chuckled quietly to himself while they worked on their acting things behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine was appearing more and more lately at the apartment, not that Kurt minded, he was quiet and passive, and Kurt actually preferred his company more than Rachel's. It wasn't that Kurt had no friends, but they were very few, and not all of them were close either. Blaine also seemed to like spending time with Kurt, even if they never said anything for hours.

Blaine watched Kurt work on his art, and Kurt listened whenever Rachel and Blaine were practising for class, offering a wise word or two when they needed advice.

On one such occasion, while Kurt was working on a very intricate piece for his still life work shop, Blaine seemed a little too close as he sat next to him, and Kurt stiffened, the pencil skidding across the page in a hard line.

"Oh." Kurt said, a little disappointed with himself, and Blaine raised his eyebrows at what had just happened.

"I'm sorry, Kurt." He said guiltily as he scooted his stool back a little and watched as Kurt relaxed a little more, before looking down at his ruined work with a sad look.

"It's ok." Kurt said as he pushed the ruined page away from him, and took up a new sheet.

"Wait, you're just going to start again? Can't you fix it?" Blaine asked astonished and Kurt shook his head.

"It's ok." Kurt replied again, his voice a little tired and Blaine cursed himself under his breath before moving completely away from Kurt.

Kurt didn't say anything or even look at him as he moved. 

"I'm really sorry," Blaine said quietly from somewhere behind him, and Kurt's hand paused before a small smile took over his solemn expression and he turned to give Blaine a small nod in acknowledgement but Blaine still looked very guilty and sad, "it was my fault. I should have remembered."

"Don't." Kurt said quietly and Blaine stopped and looked at him with confusion.

The word wasn't said with anger, or snapped at him, and it confused the hell out of him when Kurt spoke in one word answers sometimes. 

"Don't what?" He asked perplexed and Kurt gave him a pointed look.

"Despair."

"Why not?" Blaine asked him with increasing regret in his tone, and Kurt frowned over at him, "I ruined your artwork, and I know how hard and how long you've been working on that."

"Blaine-"

"No, Kurt, I can't believe you think it's ok to just forgive my clumsiness and then just start again as if nothing matters."

"But it doesn't matter." Kurt interrupted him with a quiet voice and Blaine placed his hands on the side of his hips as he watched him for a moment, Kurt didn't seem all that sad or put out with having to start over again, and Blaine couldn't understand why he wasn't angry.

He had never seen Kurt upset or angry, or even sad. So why wasn't he? Kurt was still very mysterious and perplexed him so much, he was quiet and non-judgemental and didn't show any emotion other than boredom.

"What?" He asked in an equally quiet voice.

"It doesn't matter." Kurt said again, in the same tone and Blaine sighed.

"I'm still sorry." he said with a shrug, and Kurt nodded, his coloured hair bouncing in front of his eyes a little.

"Ok."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine had stayed another night, because Rachel had made dinner and wouldn't let him leave. She wanted his opinion on more of her choices of songs for her classes. Especially the showcase that was coming up this spring. 

Blaine tried to focus on her but his mind kept slipping back to Kurt, and his complete lack of emotion. Had he always been this way? When did he just take everything with a small smile, as if the fight left him long ago. He acted like if he got upset it wouldn't change anything, so why bother?

And it bothered Blaine, it really did. 

As Rachel belted out another few notes of another song, his eyes slid to Kurt, who was still diligently sitting at his desk, the lamp focused on the paper, and his hand working over the page intricately, carefully.

Blaine still felt bad about making him mess up.

When Rachel pushed Blaine into the spare room again, before saying goodnight herself, Blaine caught a glimpse of Kurt again, still sitting and working on his art. Blaine felt bad and wanted to call out a goodnight before he shut the door, but he remained silent as he closed it.

Sleep didn't really come to him that night, he only managed a light hour and a half, before he had to get up.

Kurt was still in the kitchen at the desk, like he hadn't left it all night. 

It was closing in on 3am, and Blaine raised an eyebrow as he eyed the coffee mug beside Kurt, which was filled to the brim and hadn't been touched, probably stone cold by now.

Kurt raised his head to acknowledge Blaine before focusing on his paper again, and Blaine walked carefully around him as he worked, going for the coffee machine himself.

"You haven't slept yet have you?" He asked Kurt quietly and Kurt shook his head as he continued working, "Kurt, are you okay?"

The pencil that Kurt held between his fingers delicately went clattering onto the desk as Kurt lost his grip on it, and paused with a stiff back. Blaine thought he had done something wrong, but Kurt looked over at him with wide eyes.

"What?"

"I asked if you were okay?" Blaine repeated and Kurt continued to stare at him with wide sparkling blue eyes, and Blaine couldn't look away.

"Thank you." Kurt said eventually and Blaine was confused, which showed on his face because Kurt chuckled a little, "nobody has asked me that for years."

Blaine's eyebrows raised and his mouth fell open at the admission, and at the small smile on Kurt's delighted looking face he felt his heart strings tug in his chest a little.

"What?"

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt felt unbridled joy take over his whole being. Somebody actually cared about him enough to ask him if he was okay.

The last person to ever ask him that was his grandmother, and before that his father. Kurt didn't have many people in his life that he felt in, but he smiled at Blaine, who was now looking at him with a confused and bewildered expression.

"What?" Blaine asked and Kurt's smile turned a little smaller as he shook his head, "did you say- No-one, like at all?"

"No, everyone just assumes that I'm fine because I'm quiet and I work hard," Kurt said and Blaine looked kind of astonished at the words coming out of his mouth, "it's always been that way. But nobody ever really asks anymore. Everyone's always too caught up in their own lives I guess."

Blaine sat in a stool and watched as Kurt picked up his pencil, that had clattered to the desk earlier. 

"But, Rachel said you've been roommates for a while," Blaine said and Kurt nodded, "she's never asked?"

"Nope."

"That's- that's awful." Blaine stammered out, a sad look passing over his features and Kurt shrugged a little.

"It's life."

"Jeez, I don't know what to say," Blaine said and then rubbed a hand over his neck slightly, before focusing on Kurt again, "are you okay?"

"As okay as I can be."

Blaine nodded and Kurt turned to go back to his art work. After a couple of seconds, Blaine pulled the stool a little closer so that he could watch him, and remained silent for a while.

It was nice and comfortable now, Kurt felt a little more relaxed than he did yesterday. 

"Where does the insomnia come from?" Blaine asked quietly and Kurt paused again as he looked into Blaine's eyes, which were curious and a little nervous.

"My brain doesn't really shut down a lot. I had a therapist a few years ago, and she told me that my mind is protecting itself by staying active." Kurt explained and Blaine raised both eyebrows, which Kurt thought looked a little funny. 

"Protecting itself?"

"Yes, so that I don't think about a lot of things, or regress mentally."

Blaine looked like he wanted to ask more, but he kept quiet. Kurt was grateful for his tact, he didn't think his life story was something for light conversation, especially with Blaine becoming a new friend.

"What's your favourite colour?" Blaine asked as Kurt turned back to his work, and Kurt grinned.

"It depends in what context," he said teasingly and Blaine smiled back at him, "I mean I work with all different colours, so I can't choose one, that's like choosing your favourite colour of a rainbow. Which is wrong because without all of the colours, it wouldn't be a rainbow."

"But, what's your favourite?" Blaine asked again, amused at Kurt's teasingly vague answer.

"I like all of them," Kurt replied, "but if I had to choose, it would be white. which isn't really classed as a colour, it's more like a shade."

"Why?"

"It represents a lot of things," Kurt said and Blaine thought about it as Kurt explained, "it's new, clean, fresh. And when you add white to any colour it makes a totally different one. White represents youth and freedom, and brand new things, and fresh starts...even represents birth to me."

Blaine was staring at him with an expression Kurt could only describe as awe. His eyes were soft and warm and his lips were tilted up ever so slightly in a smile, and he was leaning his chin on one hand as he watched Kurt.

Kurt felt a blush creeping up his neck and then cleared his throat before turning back to his papers.

"White." Blaine said and Kurt nodded with a small smile, without looking back up at him.

"White."


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next few weeks, Kurt became closer to Blaine. And even though he was Rachel's friend first, Kurt found himself having a very good relationship with him. Blaine was so in tune with Kurt too, he knew not to get too close, and he knew when to be quiet and when Kurt was tired. 

He had asked a lot of questions about Kurt's life. Kurt spoke to him about living with his grandmother from the age of 16, until she passed away when he was 19. They spoke about Kurt's father, who had passed away when Kurt was 16, which is why his grandmother took him in.

Kurt never wanted to delve too deeply into his own personal life, but Blaine had been very tactful about not asking too deep questions, and Kurt felt extremely grateful for that.

It was coming up to April now and the project that he had to choose was creeping closer and closer, and he couldn't make a decision about it at all. No matter what he chose it wouldn't have been great, because most of the projects descriptions he had created for other things, so the only one left was the live model drawing.

But he had no-one to ask for that.

"Hey."

He looked up from the sheet he was reading through, as Blaine sat down on the couch beside him.

"Can't sleep again?" Blaine asked curiously, and a little amusement dancing in his eyes, Kurt smiled.

It was already 3am, and Blaine seemed to get up and stay up with him every time he stayed over.

"I've been to sleep," Kurt told him, "but my insomnia keeps me up anyway, after a few hours."

Blaine nodded in understanding.

"I had something to think about anyway." Kurt said as he waved the sheet around, and Blaine tilted his head.

"What's that?"

"The sheet for choosing a final project, they'll be starting soon." Kurt told him and Blaine hummed as he looked over the sheet in Kurt's hand.

"I told you, why don't you pick drawing the live model." Blaine pointed out on the sheet of paper, and Kurt sighed.

"I don't have a model."

There was a pause in the conversation and Kurt sat quietly perusing through the rest of the sheet, and Blaine sighed before turning to him with a smirk.

"Well, you could always ask." He said with a shrug and Kurt paused.

He turned to Blaine with wide eyes, mouth dropping open in shock a little. Thinking about the drawing, the project, it would be so easy to ask Blaine or Rachel to be the model, but Kurt had never thought that Blaine would be comfortable with that.

He had the perfect physique for drawing, Kurt could tell. Of all the ties that Blaine had been here, Kurt had looked him over a few times. He had good muscle structure and he would make the perfect candidate for it.

"You?" he asked eventually, closing his mouth when he realized it was hanging open and Blaine was still smirking at him.

"Why not?"

"Well, I didn't think you would be comfortable with that?" Kurt stammered out an explanation and as Blaine kept smiling at him, he could feel his cheeks getting a little warm.

"I admit, I've never done anything like that before, but if it helps you out..." Blaine explained in turn with a small shrug and Kurt shook his head to clear it a little.

"You know it would be a nude one right?"

"Yeah."

"And I might have to pay you for it, because to get the perfect drawing you would need to sit in one spot for hours and let me look at you."

"I know."

"You don't mind?"

"Not really," Blaine told him, "and you don't have to pay me."

"We have to have some kind of contract that says that you're okay with me using you like that, the teachers would expect it."

Blaine thought it over for a moment and then reached a decision, nodding to himself slightly before looking back at Kurt.

"Ok, how about this?" Blaine said, turning his entire body to look at Kurt, and Kurt gulped a little at the smiling face that was directed at him, "in payment for me being your model, I want 5 nights of your time."

"What do you mean?" Kurt said while raising one eyebrow, feeling slightly nervous about what Blaine was going to ask.

"5 dates." Blaine told him with a smile and Kurt still had the slightly terrified but nervous look in his eyes as he thought about what Blaine just said.

"Dates?" He asked quietly and Blaine's smile turned into a small frown at the nerves in Kurt's voice.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"I take it from your expression, that you're not used to going on dates?" Blaine guessed as he studied Kurt's facial expression.

"Quite forward aren't you?" Kurt diverted the question a little, and Blaine gave him a pointed look and Kurt laughed a little nervously, "no, I've never dated anyone."

"Anyone at all?" Blaine asked with a sceptical look and a raised eyebrow and Kurt wilted a little.

"No." He said with a shake of his head and Blaine was stunned.

"Oh."

He thought back over every conversation he had had with Kurt in the past few weeks, and he found himself speechless. Kurt was interesting and beautiful, creative, friendly, had an amazing eye for detail, and he was so generous and kind hearted. You don't find many guys like that in New York, let alone North America. 

Blaine then wondered why Kurt hadn't. Was it hard to date while working as an art student? He didn't have many friends, so maybe the circle of people around him was too low?

Was it that he didn't want to date? Was he afraid of something?

"You're quiet now, have I broken your brain?" Kurt asked with a hint of humour and Blaine shook off his thoughts as he smiled back at him.

"No, I was just wondering how you haven't dated here." Blaine said truthfully and Kurt hummed, "you've been here for a few years, and you go to college, and you go to work. How haven't you found a guy?"

"Something wrong with me not finding a guy?" Kurt asked a little nervously and Blaine back pedalled a little.

"No, no, no, I didn't mean anything by it," He said quickly holding his hands up and shaking them, now feeling like he had put both feet so far in his mouth it was hard to get the words out, "I just- erm, I meant that- er..."

"You want to know why I haven't dated?" Kurt suggested, and Blaine nodded at him with a small smile.

"Not that there is anything wrong, but how has somebody not snatched you up? You're gorgeous..." Blaine internally winced at his lack of tact right now, and Kurt's eyes widened almost comically.

"You think I'm gorgeous?"

Blaine cleared his throat a little as he felt his cheeks heating a little. Kurt was still waiting for an answer as he averted his gaze from those curious and stunned wide blue crystal eyes.

"Well, I erm- I just...yes, I think you're gorgeous and talented and kind..." Blaine threw at him, and Kurt's eyes only became wider at every word, and Blaine felt like maybe it was detrimental for him to be saying these things to Kurt, "And I'm going to shut up now." 

"Oh Blaine," Kurt said with a small shy smile, looking down at his hands, "it's been years since anyone has even looked past the outside."

Blaine only tilted his head and watched him. Kurt sighed and looked down at his hands, which had balled up on his lap, and Blaine made to move his hand over one of them but Kurt flinched away.

"The reason," he said quickly and Blaine retracted his own hand slowly as he listened, "I don't date, haven't dated anyone, is because...touching is difficult for me. It has been for most of my life."

"I'm not going to hurt you." Blaine said quietly and gently and Kurt gave him a sad kind of grin, before nodding his head in a withering way.

"I know that, I know Rachel wouldn't either, or my friends at school," Kurt mumbled a little bit nervously and Blaine could see him trying to fumble out an excuse for the way he was without revealing too much, Kurt never wanted to reveal his life, "and I don't want you to be disappointed when I can't hold your hand or hug you...maybe not even kiss you."

"So you've never been kissed either?"

Kurt's nervous but shy little smile melted away at that question and a frown turned down the corners of his lips, and the sadness and regret in his eyes literally stunned Blaine, because it was so prominent.

"I...I d-don't want to lie," Kurt stammered with difficulty, voice barely audible, "I have been."

"Oh?"

"I can't say anymore than that." Kurt added quickly as Blaine opened his mouth with a question already on his tongue, but he clamped his moth shut again at Kurt's tight frown and pleading eyes.

"I won't ask." He told him equally quietly and Kurt gave him a small grateful tilt of a smile before clearing his throat and moving away from him.

As he got up from the couch, Blaine couldn't help but feel he was regressing back to the Kurt from the start of their little friendship and he thought quickly about how he could make that not happen.

"Black!" he almost shouted and Kurt paused to turn to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Black?" Kurt asked a little confused and Blaine racked his brain for any useful information that he could use.

"The colour black, why does it have to dictate death and funerals, why can't it be red or blue...maybe green?"

Kurt seemed to know what Blaine was trying to do and the small confused little frown morphed into a smirk as he looked away with a shake of his head and then looked back.

"Why don't you find your own answer to that?" He said with a slight huff of laughter and Blaine grinned.

"If I come up with a great answer to my own question, will you think about my part of our contract?" Blaine asked, kind of clearly making some kind of deal with Kurt.

Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and gave Blaine a pointed look, but also paused to think about it. 

As Blaine waited patiently for an answer, they both heard Rachel's alarm clock sound and the resounding yawn and moan from her room. 

"I'll think about it." Were Kurt's final words before he disappeared back into his own bedroom, leaving Blaine to sigh a little in frustration.


	6. Chapter 6

Blaine did ask Kurt every time he saw him if he had made a decision about the contract between them, but so far Kurt had avoided making a decision about it. Blaine didn't want to push him, but Kurt was intriguing and Blaine really did want to take him out and see how they would get on together. 

Kurt was kind, inspiring and so beautiful. Blaine thought it would be a good thing to date Kurt, even if nothing ever came of it. He just wanted to know.

Kurt had been avoiding talking about it, every time Blaine came over. He didn't blame him, Kurt he figured out a few weeks back was used to being alone, and he was quiet and could be a little shy, so he gave him the benefit of the doubt, but the time was creeping ever closer to the closing for the final project he needed to do.

He was in class when he received a text.

'Hey, it's Kurt, I grabbed your number from Rachel, because I needed to speak to you. Would you come over tonight to talk?'

Blaine's grin spread across his face at the text and he replied immediately.

'Yes, ok Kurt, I would have given you my number if you had wanted it. Sure, I'll come over after classes let out, about 4?'

'That's fine. See you later.'

After his classes finished at 3:30, Blaine made a quick dash to the local coffee shop to grab two coffees and then made his way over to Rachel and Kurt's apartment.

Rachel wasn't at home when Kurt let him in, and he smiled as he handed Kurt a coffee, receiving a small smile in return. Kurt didn't really say anything as they walked inside, and Blaine went over to the couch and took a seat as Kurt went to grab a few sheets of paper from his desk and made his way over to sit beside him.

"Ok, so..." Kurt started as he gave the papers to Blaine to read, "this is a contract for you to sign, I wrote it out-"

Blaine was reading through the conditions as Kurt tried to explain it and he smiled as he looked back up at him.

"So you agree to the dates?"

"-I erm...Yes, I can do dates," Kurt stammered out a little nervously, while placing his hands in his lap, "but just dates right?"

Blaine looked confused for a moment and Kurt sighed a little.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I can't hold your hand, or hug you, you know that right?"

"Oh, yes Kurt I know, it's ok," Blaine told him with a smile, and Kurt relaxed a little bit, "I only said I want the dates to get to know you. And goo out and have a laugh, have fun."

"Ok, well then I accept it," Kurt said with a small grin, "if you want to sign the form, and then we'll start next week."

"Ok, so how many times do you want me to pose for you?" Blaine said a little sarcastically and Kurt gave a little chuckle, which also made Blaine laugh.

"Well, if you want 5 dates, I need 5 weeks of your time, every day after school." Kurt explained and Blaine nodded before opening his hand for a pen and Kurt gave him it, without touching his skin.

As he signed the form and then rolled it up and handed it back to Kurt, they exchanged a little smile between them. 

"So when do we start?" He asked and Kurt pointed towards his room.

"Well, now if you don't mind." Kurt said and Blaine felt his own smile turn a little bit nervous as Kurt smirked at him.

"In your room?" He asked and Kurt giggled.

"Don't tell me that you're nervous now, it was your idea." Kurt teased him and Blaine shook his head hiding a blush and a small smile.

"Ok, ok, let's do this."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine sat on a chair that Kurt had in his bedroom, in a robe that Kurt had provided him with while he changed out of his clothes in the bathroom. While Kurt was setting up the paints, pencils and things he would need for this portrait, he sat trying to build up his courage to drop the robe and expose himself.

Kurt kept his eyes cast towards his own things while Blaine took the time by himself. He knew he was nervous now, now that it had come to him posing for Kurt's project piece. 

Kurt couldn't help the tiny smirk on his lips as he heard Blaine trying to calm his breathing. He was across the room but Kurt could still hear him.

He had signed the contract now so he had to do it, but Kurt would offer him a way out if he really didn't want to sit in front of him in the nude.

"Look Blaine," he started, causing Blaine's eyes to dart over to him, "if you really aren't comfortable with this, we don't have to. It's ok."

"No, Kurt, I said I would do it, and I will. I just seem to be nervous right now."

"You have an amazing physique, if that's the problem?"

"No, that's not it." Blaine gave him a small grateful grin, before casting his eyes down to the floor by Kurt's feet, "I just have never been this exposed in front of anyone who wasn't a boyfriend."

"Oh I see." Kurt nodded in slight understanding.

"It's kind of intimate." Blaine said with a shrug and Kurt gave him a little smile.

"Yes...I guess it is."

"Right, you've never had a boyfriend." Blaine said and Kurt frowned a little as he turned back to sort out the things for the picture, and Blaine instantly felt bad about bringing it up, "Sorry, that was insensitive."

"I understand the nervousness about being exposed, Blaine, trust me." Kurt said quietly and Blaine tilted his head a little with his brows furrowed in confusion, "anyway, when you're ready, we can start."

Blaine took another deep breath before standing and releasing his grip on the robe, it swung open and Kurt made to turn away, but then this is something he would have to get used to seeing if he wanted to paint Blaine, so he made himself look.

Blaine was beautiful, Kurt could admit that. He tried and failed to keep the blush off of his cheeks, but Blaine was equally embarrassed so that eased Kurt's nerves a little.

"Ok." Blaine said as he shucked the robe off of his shoulders and threw it onto the bed behind him, before taking his seat again, "what angle would you like me to sit at?"

"Whatever's comfortable," Kurt said with a shrug, "but maybe, you could angle your face slightly to the left and tilt it up a little."

"Like this?" Blaine asked as he threw both of his legs over the arm of the seat, and then leaned back in the seat, tilting his head a little to the left.

"Actually, that's kind of perfect." Kurt said with a smile, coughing to clear his throat as he picked up one of his pencils, "can you stay there for a long length of time?"

"Sure." Blaine said without moving his position. 

Kurt nodded to himself, and then began the process of drawing shapes onto the paper sheet in front of him. To Blaine's credit, he remained absolutely still, the only movement being his chest rising and falling slightly with his breathing, and Kurt fought the urge to stare at him for very long. 

He started concentrating on the curves and angles, wiping his brow as he started to sweat a little. After about 20 minutes, and when he had most of the starting shapes of Blaine's body down, he removed his own shirt. It had to be warm in the room for Blaine, the only naked participant, but Kurt was sweating too as he concentrated.

Blaine didn't turn to look at him, and Kurt felt even more comfortable in the situation, noting that this was professional, and Blaine wasn't trying to be salacious about anything. He was a good friend.

Kurt wasn't really comfortable being shirtless around other people, but Blaine was wearing a lot less so Kurt knew that he had the upper hand anyway. It made it easier to fall into his head space of creating art.

After another hour of drawing, sketching and smudging and erasing, Blaine needed the bathroom, so Kurt placed his own shirt back on and looked away as Blaine got up to put the robe on to head to the bathroom. As he waited he worked on some of the shading of places around Blaine's muscles in his arms and chest. 

He had the top half almost completed already. Blaine walked back in, watching Kurt with a slightly wary expression, to sit back down in the chair, and tried and failed to get into the right place he had before. Kurt sighed, because he would have to go over to help him get back to his original position.

He took a few tentative steps in Blaine's direction and Blaine eyed him curiously as he crept closer. Kurt knew he looked nervous, but Blaine was perfectly still, just watching him.

"The angle is wrong," Kurt told him as he stepped up beside him and Blaine nodded a little as he shifted a little, but Kurt shook his head as he reached out to touch his arm, "down a little...now place your arm there. Now put your head like this."

As Kurt's hands almost touched his skin, Blaine held his breath. Kurt hadn't touched him at all, but this had to do with his project and maybe he could get passed his fear of touch, but Kurt's hands then jerked away quickly before his skin came into contact.

Blaine almost sighed, his chest heaved a little and he bent his head as Kurt instructed, until he had the perfect angle back.

As Kurt strode back over to his piece, Blaine relaxed a little.

Kurt gave him a small grateful smile, for not saying anything about his shaking hands, and Blaine returned the expression only looking at Kurt from the corner of his eye, before straightening his gaze again as Kurt went back to drawing.

After another hour, Kurt's fingers needed a break, so Blaine got up again to place the robe over himself while they sat in silence. Kurt went to make them both a refreshing drink, and then sat on the bed just behind where Blaine sat in the chair, and Blaine turned to look at him.

"Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable Kurt."

"It's ok." Kurt replied quietly.

"will you tell me why you don't like touching people, or why you can't touch anyone?" Blaine asked a little unsure, and Kurt's eyes widened slightly.

"I'm not sure I should." He replied and Blaine frowned.

"Did something bad happen?"

"Yes."

"Bullies at school?" Blaine guessed and Kurt gave a little humorless laugh.

"I wish..." Kurt mumbled and then trailed off and it made Blaine look at him with a sort of sympathetic gaze, but Kurt made a point not to look at his face, "...just trust me, you don't really want to know."

"Have you ever told anyone?" Blaine asked again, and Kurt nodded his head very slowly.

"I did," Kurt said with a slightly far off look in his eyes, and Blaine would have pushed but the way Kurt had gone into himself, physically and mentally, he thought better of it and was about to talk about something else when Kurt spoke again, "...I told my father. We had no secrets. He was like my best friend, my brother and my father all rolled into one."

"Must be nice to have a close relationship like that."

"It was." Kurt said and Blaine instantly felt dread and sorrow washing over him.

"Was?"

"He died."


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt was up again later that night. No matter how many pills he took for his insomnia and the nightmares, he would always wake up about 2 hours later, and then he would work on some of his art until Rachel got up to start the day.

It was 2:30am, and he was working on the big project piece, the live nude drawing of his friend Blaine. Blaine had been gracious enough the evening before not to ask anymore probing questions about Kurt's life, or about his father, and Kurt had been grateful for his tact yet again.

It didn't make dealing with it any easier, he knew that if they became closer, especially considering Blaine wanted to date him, that eventually Kurt's back story would come up. He would have to tell him eventually why he couldn't touch, why he wasn't comfortable with being touched. He wanted to shelter Blaine from it for as long as he was able to, but the closer Blaine became to him, the more difficult it was.

The thing about this was, Kurt really felt like he wanted to touch him. Even just to run his fingers through the dark curls on Blaine's head, or touch his hand, his arm, feel his skin, which Kurt would bet is warm and smooth and unblemished.

But he couldn't.

Touches hit him like lightning, and not the good kind. It made him squirm and feel disgusting. He had no control over those feelings. 

Kurt sighed as he worked on Blaine's angular face in the picture, running a finger down the side of Blaine's face, wishing it was the real Blaine. The paper was rough and cold, and he imagined Blaine was different. Maybe his face had a tiny bit of stubble that would catch on his finger, maybe those full lips were as soft as they looked. Maybe his cheeks were smooth and his jaw was strong.

The last person Kurt had ever touched had been his father, holding his hand tightly in the hospital. Saying goodbye.

He thought about what his father would think if he saw him now. If he was around when Kurt had trouble sleeping, had trouble connecting with others, would he somehow make it all better? Kurt doubted it. His father was the only person in his life who he felt safe with, the only person he could connect to.

Nobody else had ever touched close to that, but now Blaine...

Blaine was getting ever closer to Kurt. He could feel the change in him. He spoke more with Blaine than anyone else. He opened up more, he blushed, he laughed.

This was all new to Kurt now. Especially the urge to touch.

He shook his head and let his hand fall from the paper, before getting up and striding over to the bathroom, pulling open the cabinet and looking at the multitude of pills inside.

He had been on a lot of prescription pills for years, they had been updated over the last 2 years, about 18 times. Different names now, but they all worked the same. They couldn't put him on anything too strong, because the doctors had been worried about him being dependant on medication for the rest of his life.

Which Kurt felt was a little too late for that. He needed them to function everyday. Anti depressants, anti nausea, sleeping pills, anxiety medication, PTSD meds, he had it all. None of them worked for very long, but it was enough for him to fall asleep every night. Even if it only knocked him out for a few hours.

Nobody else but Kurt and the professionals he had seen, knew about all of the meds he was currently on. Not Rachel, not Blaine, not his grandmother before she died. No-one.

Kurt would be labeled as depressed, sick, invalid, pathetic, and he didn't want to be seen like that through his peers eyes. He was a stronger person than anyone realized, to put up with this for years and not show any outward signs of his treatment.

The appointments had been made on his own, every hospital trip and every doctor's visit, he had gone alone. Every break down in the psychiatrist's, therapist's and psychologist's offices. It had all been kept in, hidden, secret.

His last therapist had told him it wasn't healthy to keep everything inside, and he knew that. She suggested he tell people that care about him, but so far Kurt had found no-one to tell. Nobody else cared, everyone had their own lives to live. They wouldn't care how much Kurt's being was hurt, scarred, mentally incapable.

Rachel would have been the only one that was as close as friends could get, but even she hadn't passed the bar Kurt had set for caring.

But Blaine does, doesn't he?

He had asked how Kurt was, he always asked Kurt how he was now that he started. Blaine had kind eyes, and his smile was warm, inviting, forgiving. It was a welcome change in the cold world Kurt had found himself living in. So different to the other people around him.

Like his father had been.

He eyed the clock again, as he was deep in thought, 4am now. Rachel would be up in an hour to have a shower. Kurt decided he should probably go and start the coffee machine.

He made his way to the kitchen, eyeing the contract on his desk as he passed. He looked at the conditions on Blaine's side, just before his signature. The dates. 

5 dates.

That's all he wanted. A chance to get to know Kurt properly. But could Kurt really let him all the way in? Would Blaine think any less of him as a person? Would he show concern? Disgust? Intrigue?

Blaine was a good person, but Kurt's life had been one tragic incident after another in his teen years, and it had shaped the person he had become. What if Blaine turned away from him? It would kill Kurt to lose such a friend now.

It would be a risk to let him in. But was it worth it?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine came around everyday after classes let out, to sit in Kurt's room, naked and let himself be drawn. Kurt knew that after a few days Blaine was more comfortable with it, from the easy way he just slipped his clothes off, without even thinking about heading into the bathroom first. And then got comfortable in the chair while they both tried to direct his angle again.

Kurt was a lot more comfortable now, with removing his own shirt, or sometimes just unbuttoning it, while he drew in that warm room. After 5 days, the sketch was completed and Kurt let Blaine have a quick glance at it.

"Oh my god! It's me!" he exclaimed excitedly, and Kurt rolled his eyes at the wonder in his voice.

"Of course its you."

"Sorry," Blaine had the sense to look a little chastised, with a light blush on his cheeks, "but I just didn't expect it to look so real...I mean...just as a sketch."

Kurt smiled at the kind words, and the fumbled explanation.

"It looks like a scene from a black and white movie."

"An adult movie?" Kurt teased with a smirk and Blaine almost nudged him playfully, but as Kurt tensed up he stopped and then turned to give him his own smirk.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He teased back with a laugh, making Kurt giggle a little, "in all seriousness though, it's fantastic. I think you could win with just this alone."

"I was thinking about it actually, I want to show off the creative process with this project, so I will be painting half of it, and then keeping half of it sketched."

"That sounds great. I can't wait to see it in colour." He added with more excitement and Kurt huffed a little.

"It's you. You know what you look like in colour."

"Yeah, but not at this angle and in this picture." Blaine said as he stepped a little closer to the paper and peered at all of the miniscule detail Kurt had put in with his pencil. 

Kurt watched him, and the feeling of wanting to reach out and touch him was getting stronger. His fingers twitched by his side, and Blaine was too engrossed in the portrait to notice. But Kurt shook off the feeling and sat back on his stool.

"Did you think about your answer?" Kurt asked out of the blue and Blaine raised an eyebrow as he turned to him with confusion.

"Answer?"

"To your question of why the colour black represents morbid things?" Kurt asked and Blaine thought for a moment, before he smiled.

"Well, maybe it has to do with mystery." He said and Kurt felt intrigued at his response and urged him to go on, "Think about it...black is like a shroud, something to hide things, they use it to disguise a lot of things. Like the afterlife is a mystery to everyone, that's what black should represent, but it can also be used in a respectful way. Like saying goodbye, and moving on. In a different way to white."

"Good answer." Kurt praised him and the smile Blaine shot him, all teeth and crinkled eyes, made Kurt blush a little, "I made a decision about the...conditions of the contract too."

Blaine sobered up a little and watched Kurt's expression, there was a little trepidation but hope in his eyes as he raised both eyebrows and waited for Kurt to continue.

"I would love to go on 5 dates with you." Kurt told him with his own shy little smile and Blaine's entire being seemed to relax.

"Thank you, Kurt."

"No, thank you Blaine."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They made a separate agreement for these dates. 5 days Blaine would pose for the drawing and painting and then on the Sunday after each week, they would go out.

Kurt had no clue about dates, so Blaine would choose where they go all the time. 

This first Sunday was a bit of a stressful time for Kurt. he had no idea where Blaine was taking him, and no idea what to wear that was practical but also nice. It had been years since he had worried about his own fashion sense, and going back into that kind of head space brought on a lot of difficult memories too.

He would just have to wing it.

He threw on his nicest shirt, which was a navy blue. Neutral territory for tonight. Black skinny jeans, and then his black suede jacket which he had been saving for a special occasion. It would have to do, after a quick brush of his hair and teeth, spraying his hair up into its usual messy style, he looked towards the clock where he could see he had 10 minutes to get ready.

A knock came on the apartment door as Kurt was placing his keys and wallet into his pockets, and he pasted on a smile before answering the door.

Blaine spied the nervous smile straight away, but he couldn't touch his hand to try and comfort him, he could only offer his own smile in return. He had his hands behind his back, Kurt noticed and he cleared his throat and blushed a little as he pulled his hand out.

"So I feel like I should start by giving you these." Blaine said as he produced a small bouquet of flowers from behind his back, red and yellow roses, and they were so beautiful and brightly coloured that Kurt gasped.

"Oh Blaine, I- they're beautiful." Kurt said quietly as Blaine beamed brightly.

"And I should give you the run down of the itinerary for our date."

"Ok."

"I thought we could start with getting some Thai take out, and taking it to the park, to sit and chat. And then we can go for a walk and grab some ice cream from my favourite shop."

As Blaine explained what he had planned for them, Kurt didn't say anything he was just staring at Blaine. Blaine couldn't tell what Kurt was thinking, there were a lot of different emotions swirling in those crystal blue eyes of his. As Kurt remained silent though, Blaine started to get nervous.

"Is that okay?" He asked, and then his smile dropped a little as Kurt just stared at him, "we don't have to, I mean...I just thought you wouldn't appreciate a crowd of people, what with the whole touching thing, but I can take you somewhere else if you-"

"Blaine," Kurt interrupted and Blaine's mouth shut slowly as Kurt smiled at him, "thank you. It's very thoughtful, and I love the sound of it."

"Phew ok, well are you ready to go?" Blaine looked a little relieved at that and plastered on a big grin.

"Yes." Kurt said as he walked to place the flowers on the kitchen table and then turned to walk back to Blaine with a small smile.

"You look great by the way." Blaine said quietly and Kurt felt his cheeks blush a little, before looking over Blaine's outfit too.

He was wearing red jeans, a black polo shirt, and a very nice black jacket.

"You do too."


	8. Chapter 8

"When was the last time you took someone on a date?" Kurt asked as they started their slow walk to the local Thai take out place, and Blaine thought about it for a moment before answering.

"Must have been last year some time," He replied and then looked at Kurt's face, taking in the raised eyebrow and the small smirk, "if you're thinking I have been with a lot of guys, I haven't...there's only been 2 serious ones since I graduated high school."

Kurt nodded his head at the explanation, and then changed the subject because he couldn't reiterate about dating himself.

"Where did you go to high school?" 

"Ohio, Westerville. Dalton Academy." Blaine said and Kurt smiled at him.

"I've heard of it, a private boys school right?" 

"That's the one." Blaine beamed at him, a sparkle catching his eyes and Kurt realized he must have been thinking about his time there.

"What was it like?" He asked and Blaine sighed a little.

"Better than the one I was in before," he said and Kurt tilted his head as he continued, "they had a no bullying policy, so it was safe for everyone."

"Were you bullied?" He asked quietly and Blaine gave him a small shrug.

"Yes, a lot." He said with a nod, and Kurt frowned at him, but Blaine shook his head with a small smile, feigning that it was okay, it was in the past, "when I was 15, I ended up in hospital with a broken arm and a concussion for a few days."

"That's terrible."

"My parent's pulled me out and sent me to Dalton, it got better from there." Blaine added with a bigger brighter grin and Kurt had to throw a smile back.

"What made you go into musical theatre?"

"My mom," he said with a fond tone, "she's a singer. She was more of an events organizer and a singer, for weddings and things around Chicago where she lived before she met my father, and when they had my brother they moved to Ohio. She doesn't really sing a lot anymore but she got me started in music. Taught me piano, and violin when I was 7."

"Wow, you play piano?"

"Piano, guitar, violin, I tried the trombone once, and I'm pretty fair on drums too."

"I can't play any instruments," Kurt said with a little laugh, "not that I haven't tried. The most I can play on piano is a few chords of the Titanic soundtrack."

"That's a good place to start from." Blaine told him with a small laugh of his own and Kurt felt better about it, Blaine always made him feel like that.

"I never really got into it. I chose art instead."

"And your art is incredible." Blaine complimented which brought another blush to his face.

"Thank you."

They reached the Thai place, and Blaine being the ever gentleman he was, opened the door and held it for Kurt to walk through first. Kurt felt like his cheeks would be on fire all night if he kept this up.

On the counter was a menu, and they both skimmed through it before deciding on what to have. Blaine told the man behind the counter and he wrote it down. As they waited for their order to be finished, Blaine and Kurt both took a seat in the little waiting area against a window.

"So you don't have any brother's or sisters?" Blaine asked and Kurt shook his head.

"No, I don't." Kurt replied scooting a little closer to Blaine than he intended but Blaine took no notice, which he was thankful for, "For a long time it was just me and my dad, my mother died when I was 8."

"Oh I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago." Kurt said quietly and Blaine nodded.

"Do you mind me asking what happened to your father?"

"Heart attack. A second one."

"Oh, damn," Blaine's eyes widened in alarm and then he frowned slightly, "I couldn't imagine what that must have been like."

"It wasn't a walk in the park." Kurt told him softly, as the man at the counter called out their order and Blaine stood up to pay, "Oh no, Blaine, I can pay for that."

Kurt reached for his own wallet, and true to Blaine's loving nature he just shook his head at him with a small smile.

"No, don't be silly, I'll get it, I asked you out remember," he said and Kurt looked a little uncomfortable, still holding out his own wallet and Blaine gave him a wink, "besides, you can pay next time."

"Fine." Kurt said quietly, feigning slight annoyance, but secretly he enjoyed it.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"So tell me about your brother." Kurt asked as they sat eating their food.

They were seated on Blaine's jacket on the grass. When Kurt had realized what Blaine's intention was for putting his jacket on the slightly damp grass, he vehemently refused and tried to get Blaine to pick it up. Blaine refused and said that he didn't mind, his jacket could wash, and reluctantly Kurt sat down on it.

The jacket wasn't very big so they didn't have a lot of room to avoid touching each other, but Blaine made sure that none of his limbs brushed against Kurt as they settled face to face, both sitting cross legged.

"Cooper? There's not much to tell," Blaine said around a small mouthful of food, before swallowing and then shrugging his shoulders, "he's an aspiring actor out in L.A, he moved there straight after high school, and I only see him at Thanksgiving and Christmas. He's older than me, almost 9 years."

"That's a big gap. I take it you didn't grow up that close." Kurt said as he dug into one of his own pots of food, eating slowly and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere they created.

"Not really," Blaine shrugged, a small smile forming, "it's better now though. He was the first one I came out to at 14."

"How was he with that?" Kurt asked before scooping another mouthful, and Blaine huffed out a little laugh.

"He didn't care, told me he loved me and that he would support me. It's never been a problem for Coop, he was always a little open minded anyway."

"How did your parent's take it?"

"My mom was ok, but my father didn't really understand it. He would always try to make me do manly activities with him, maybe trying to man me up enough to change me, even though he never said that's what it was. I just knew."

"And now?"

"He's ok with it. It was hard for him to accept, and I can't really talk to him about it, but he doesn't say anything anymore." Blaine explained and Kurt tilted his head like he understood.

"At least you have that support." he offered and Blaine raised one eyebrow as he placed the box in his hand down and picked up another.

"Did your father support you?"

"Yes, he did. it shocked me to be honest." Kurt laughed and Blaine grinned but urged him to go on, "When I told him I was 15, and he told me he had known since I was 3."

"What? How?" Blaine asked around a smile and Kurt hummed as he swallowed another mouthful of his food before answering.

"Apparently for my birthday I asked for a pair of sensible heels." He said and Blaine laughed in a cute way.

"No way," he exclaimed and Kurt nodded with his own little giggle, "that's so cute."

"He told me he loved me, that he wasn't in love with the idea but if that's who I was then he couldn't change it." Kurt explained more with a small shrug and a little sad looking smile, which Blaine wanted to comfort him for, but thought better of reaching out to him, "It was hard for him I think, but he accepted it almost straight away."

"That's good."

After they had finished with their food and had placed the empty bag and containers in a nearby trash can, they wandered around the edge of the park, enjoying the sights and the silence. But as the air started to cool down a little and the sky darkened, Blaine decided to lead the way to his favourite ice-cream place.

It was a tiny little shop, just on a street corner across from the park entrance, and Blaine opened the door yet again for Kurt to walk inside. It smelled incredibly sweet in the shop and the lady behind the counter gave them a big smile.

She recognized Blaine and asked him how his day had been, which he replied with awesome.

"Kurt here, has never tried your ice-cream, and I told him this was my favourite place to go," Blaine told her and she grinned, "what do you recommend for a first timer?"

"Well," she said as she turned to regard Kurt, "are you more of a sweet or savoury person?"

"Usually savoury." Kurt replied and she nodded, before pointing down to the green ones in front of her.

"Then the pistachio and mint maybe the way to go."

"Two scoops of that then, and two of-"

"Vanilla and strawberry, I know." She finished for Blaine as she grinned at them both and Blaine laughed.

"You know me so well."

Blaine paid again, and Kurt protested a little, even though Blaine completely ignored him with a big smile. They left with their cones of ice-cream and headed back to Kurt's apartment. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Hey guys!" Rachel exclaimed loudly as they both walked in and Blaine saw Kurt's face fall from it's smile for a second and be replaced by a smaller one.

"hey, Rach." Kurt replied and she beamed at him before eyeing the frozen treats in their hands.

"If I had known you were home, I would have got you one, Rachel." Blaine said and she waved him off.

"Oh don't worry about that, I'm not much for ice-cream, but thank you." She said as they all moved into the apartment a little more, "do you guys want an espresso? I really need the energy boost right now."

"Erm, yeah, thank you," Blaine told her with a small polite smile, still watching Kurt, "that would be great."

"Yes, Rachel, thank you." Kurt added and Rachel turned to stare at him for a while, looking between them slowly before a sudden realization dawned on her face.

"Wait...have you guys been on a date?" She asked slowly as a grin appeared on her face, and they both looked between them for a moment before Kurt nodded at her.

"Yes."

"Aww, that's so cute," she said as she moved to the kitchen for making the drinks, and they followed, each taking a seat at the table, "I somehow knew you two would get along well. I just can't believe how much of a good match maker I am."

Blaine smiled over at Kurt, who was silently eating his ice-cream, receiving a small shy smile in return.

"It was just a date Rachel, but I guess credit would go to you for introducing us." Blaine explained and Kurt looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "let's just hope Kurt will still want to be friends, even if it doesn't work out."

He added in a little hopeful expression as he stared into Kurt's eyes, and Kurt looked away for a second. Relief flooded Blaine's chest as Kurt's cheeks reddened slightly again.

"Oh, I'm sure Kurt likes you more than he lets on," Rachel interrupted as she placed the drinks on the table in front of them both, giving them both a bright grin, even as Kurt raised an eyebrow at her momentarily, "so tell me, where did you go?"

"The park." Blaine said and Kurt nodded along.

"Central Park? what for?"

"It was quiet-"

"Ah, romantic setting, that sounds lovely." she clapped her hands together in an overly excited way and Kurt sighed.

"Rachel, you know about the touch thing." Kurt said quietly and she turned to him with a small frown, before Blaine interjected.

"Yeah, I took Kurt out there, so that we could sit and chat without being too crowded with people you know?"

"That is so considerate," she said and Kurt smiled in Blaine's direction, sharing a warm glance with him underneath Rachel's nose, "I wish the guys I date would be that caring and devoted enough to pick something like that."

As Rachel explained about the horrible dates she had been on in the past few months, Kurt and Blaine weren't really paying much attention. Their eyes were fixed on the other, with secretive smiles.

It was a good day.


	9. Chapter 9

Before they knew it another two weeks had gone by, and Kurt's painting was really beautiful, he had almost finished, there wasn't any shading or highlights in it yet, and it had taken a long time last week to find all of the right shades of colour for picking out the bronze tones in Blaine's skin. But eventually Kurt had worked out how much of each colour he had to mix, and all he had to do was finish the details and then shading.

Blaine had been astounded at how beautiful and incredible the painting made him look. It didn't look like himself, the way he saw him, but then it wouldn't, it was the way Kurt saw him.

Amazing.

He still had to sit naked, in the same angle, for Kurt to catch the lights and the different colours that glowed on him, but it was more comfortable now that they had been doing this for 3 weeks. 

The second date, Blaine got them both tickets to a show, it was off off Broadway, because he couldn't afford the more expensive Broadway tickets, but Kurt enjoyed himself. So he said.

There was a little bit of an incident where a lady had almost brushed past him, causing him to breath a little harder, but the seats Blaine had chosen for them to sit in were away from other people, off to the side and Kurt was grateful.

The show was incredible and after it had finished Blaine and Kurt remained sitting, talking about the show between themselves while everyone filed out. They avoided the rush of people at the exits, because Blaine didn't want Kurt to be uncomfortable around the horde of them.

Kurt had been in awe of Blaine that night, how considerate and caring he was, how he asked Kurt if he was okay every half hour while they were surrounded by people. 

When they got back to the apartment, Blaine had an early class so he had to say goodnight at the door. They didn't hug, or touch, but Blaine could feel something different around Kurt. Maybe it was the comfortable atmosphere they had around each other, but Blaine could almost feel the warmth from him.

Kurt's fingers twitched on one hand, and it raised slightly in his direction. Blaine stayed completely still, wanting Kurt to figure out things by himself, if he wanted to reach out and touch he wouldn't interfere. But then the moment passed and Kurt's hand dropped. 

They said goodbye with shy little grins, and Blaine felt like it must have been an achievement. Kurt had never before been inclined to reach out to him, so it was a step in the right direction.

For Blaine at least. 

On the third Sunday, he had a little spring in his step as he walked up to Kurt and Rachel's apartment, at 6pm on the dot and knocked on the door.

His smile dropped however when Rachel opened the door in tears. He carefully brought his hands out to her shoulders and moved them both inside the apartment.

"Rachel, what's wrong?"

"It's Kurt." she cried and Blaine brought her into him, wrapping his arms around her slightly shaken form, as she hid her face in his chest.

Looking behind her, he could see the apartment was a little trashed.

The side table by the couch had been knocked over, and the vase that had sat on top of it had been smashed, the flowers and water that were inside it all over the wooden floor. There was also a smashed glass near it and Blaine could spy a few drops of blood too.

"Rachel, tell me what happened?" he demanded in a soft tone, not to cause her any more upset and she took her face out of his chest to look up at him.

"It was my fault," she said with a shaky voice, "I left my bag by the couch after I got home, I had a shower and as I came out I stopped to talk to Kurt, he was waiting for you. And I hadn't realized my bag was sticking out, he caught his foot in the strap...I-it all happened so fast, a-and I f-forgot about the touching thing. I grabbed onto his arms to try and catch him, and he screamed and I let go and we both fell over. He kicked the table trying to get away, and everything smashed, I think he cut himself as he got up. He's in the bathroom and he wouldn't come out...I'm so scared Blaine I-"

"Ok, ok ssh, Rachel it's ok." he gathered her back into his arms as her sobs turned a little hysterical, soothing her as best he could.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's ok." Blaine soothed her, "it was an accident. Go and get a glass of water and sit down, calm down ok? I'll go check on him."

"Ok."

She obeyed him and went to the kitchen while Blaine walked down the short hallway to their bathroom, avoiding the splatters of blood on the floor as he went.

As he approached the bathroom door he looked at the smear of blood on the door and around the handle before gently knocking.

"Kurt?" he called gently not wanting to startle him, but no answer came only a shuffle from inside, "Kurt, it's Blaine. Are you okay?"

Still no answer.

"Sweetheart, will you let me in, or come out please? We're worried that you might have badly hurt yourself." He tried, as he heard Rachel sniffling from the kitchen.

But still nothing.

"Kurt? Please?"

"I can't." Came the soft reply from behind the door, and Blaine sighed a little. 

"Why not?" He asked as quietly as Kurt, making sure to keep his voice light and trying not to let it shake.

"I scared Rachel."

"She's ok Kurt, she's more worried about you."

"Why?" Kurt asked quietly, his self deprecating tone slipping into his voice, and it made Blaine frown.

"Because she cares about you Kurt," he insisted through the door, his eyes misted slightly but he managed to keep his emotions out of his voice and remain calm, "and so do I. I care about you. Please will you come out?"

A few more minutes of silence passed and Blaine stayed put outside the door. He was about to give up and go and sit with Rachel, when he heard a shuffle and then the doorknob twist around. He stepped back, so that he wasn't crowding Kurt as he opened the door, and he almost cried at the way Kurt looked.

He was wide eyed, but the eyes were all glazed over, and he had a little bit of blood smeared on the side of his cheek, that Blaine ached to be able to wipe away. His whole figure was hunched in on himself, the hand that was injured, had wadded up tissue in it, which was covered in blood. 

The way he swayed a little had Blaine a lot more worried.

"Oh Kurt." He almost lost control and wrapped his arms around the man in front of him, and it was so hard to hold back from doing so. 

The confident and smirking and laughing Kurt from the last few weeks was gone completely. In his place stood a frightened, wide eyed, sad, lost looking man. 

"I don't think I would be very good company on our date tonight." Kurt said in almost a whispered voice, that Blaine struggled to catch.

"It's ok, we can postpone it." 

Kurt wandered past Blaine, and he followed him through to the mess in the living area and then to the kitchen. Kurt spied Rachel sitting at the table, holding a glass of water, and she smiled shakily up at him.

He didn't smile back, he just dropped his gaze to the floor and walked to the back cupboard of the kitchen to retrieve the broom, before wandering back into the living area and beginning to sweep up the mess.

Blaine and Rachel shared a worried gaze and then watched as Kurt pushed all of the mess into one corner and then walked away into his bedroom.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Rachel decided that the best decision she could make right now would be to leave the apartment for a few days, she knew that he was a lot more comfortable with Blaine than herself, plus she was still a little shaken and she wanted to relax.

Blaine told her he would keep an eye on Kurt for tonight, and she thanked him before she went to her room to pack. She would be staying with a Nyada friend of hers, and she looked so tired and down that Blaine didn't even want to stop her.

His main concern was Kurt. Who still hadn't reappeared from his bedroom and it had been 2 hours.

"Make sure he eats something ok? His favourite pizza is Hawaiian...ham and pineapple." Rachel said quietly as Blaine gave her another hug, rubbing a hand over her shoulders gently when she pulled away.

"I'll try."

She gave him a sad smile and then left, the door closing softly behind her and Blaine sighed as he walked over to Kurt's bedroom door and knocked.

"Kurt can I come in?" He asked and was surprised when a tiny 'Yes' came from inside.

Kurt was sitting in the armchair Blaine sits in for the portrait, his feet curled up and his arms slumped over one arm of the chair, his face turned towards the window. His eyes were staring but unseeing, the emotions swimming around in them made them appear dull and sad.

"Wanna order a pizza? I heard your favourite is ham and pineapple, and I like that one too." Blaine said with a small smile, trying to lighten up Kurt's dark mood, but to no avail.

Kurt didn't even acknowledge that Blaine had said anything at all.

Blaine sat on the bed behind the chair, and sighed quietly. 

"Kurt?"

"Hm?"

"Rachel told me about what happened," he said not expecting a response but trying to converse with Kurt none the less, "she feels awful for putting you through this again. She doesn't blame you. Nobody does. She has gone to stay at her friend's place tonight, to give you both some space."

Kurt snorted.

"I've scared off my roommate, great."

"No that's not the-"

"Why? Why don't I ever get the blame for freaking out," Kurt asked quietly, but Blaine figured it was rhetorical so he didn't provide an answer he just listened, "but that's just it really isn't it...that you both know I'm sick, that you know there is something wrong with me, so you don't blame me at all."

"Would it make much difference if we blamed you for it?" Blaine interrupted to ask and Kurt heaved a deep sigh.

"Probably not."

"You can't help the person you are-"

"But I wasn't like this, back then, I was different." Kurt spat out, interrupting Blaine, who then sat back a little in shock at the anger in his tone. 

He had never heard Kurt angry before.

"Back when?"

"When I was little," Kurt started, a humorless little laugh escaping his pale lips without cracking a smile, "one of my friends called me a unicorn, I was different, I was snarky, pudgy, snobby, had better fashion sense. I was a good person, I loved holding my friends hands. Hugging...ugh hugging people that I care about...I miss that most of all."

"You changed...but if you went through something bad-"

"Something terrible." He interrupted again, glaring at the window, and Blaine furrowed his brows.

"Will you tell me what it is?" Blaine asked curiously, quietly nit expecting and not being pushy but Kurt clammed up again.

"I c-can't." He stuttered and his eyes filled up with tears, while Blaine watched him with a worried gaze.

"Can I guess?" Blaine asked and this time Kurt turned his head slightly to look at him, staring into his eyes for a moment before nodding slightly.

As Blaine went to take his first guess, Kurt cut him off.

"It has nothing to do with my father, so please...don't accuse him ok?" he said with a desperately stern look and Blaine nodded slowly.

"Was it kids at school?"

"No."

"Was it a family member?" Blaine asked and Kurt shook his head before wincing a little as he thought about it.

"Some one close to family?"

A nod.

"Some one you trusted..." Blaine said and he wasn't expecting Kurt to keep nodding about it, his mind was slowly filling in blanks for him, and he carried on mumbling to himself, "you hate being touched...you've never had a boyfriend...but you've been kissed...it's erm-"

He swallowed hard and looked over at Kurt already misting eyes at what he was about to ask. Kurt was watching him too, those eyes boring into Blaine's own.

"Kurt, w-were you abused?" He asked so quietly he didn't think Kurt heard him, but after a minute there was movement.

A nod. 

"H-he was a friend of my f-father's," he stuttered quietly, as a single tear escaped one of those dull, sad eyes, "I was 13." 

Blaine watched the tears continuously fall down the pale cheeks and disappear beneath his jaw. The full weight of what Kurt had just admitted hit Blaine all at once and he went pale and shaky. He was mostly surprised of the anger that had swelled inside of him. This damaged man, this beautiful, kind, creative soul in front of him had been preyed upon by somebody he trusted. Blaine couldn't hold it back anymore and tears of anger spilled down his own cheeks as he placed his head in his hands and sobbed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter. Child sexual abuse, non descriptive but implied. If triggering please don't read. Caution!

They sat in silence for a little while. After Blaine had stopped crying. Kurt wasn't able to touch him to comfort him, so Blaine had to calm down himself. 

Kurt wished he could take his hand, or even hug him but he couldn't bring himself too.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked quietly and Blaine looked to him in shock.

"I should be the one asking you that." he replied and Kurt shook his head.

"I'm okay, Blaine. It was a long time ago."

"That's where all of your problems come from though, right?"

"Yes, most of them."

Another small silence reigned over them again. Blaine was fiddling with a bit of thread on the bottom of his shirt and Kurt was watching him. Neither of them had any idea how to make this situation any better. But then Blaine was probably thinking it was a small victory if Kurt got to talk to him about things that haunted him.

"Will you tell me about it?" Blaine asked and Kurt furrowed his brow and frowned down at his feet.

"Erm...I don't know if I can," He started hesitantly, his heart thundering a little in his chest, "I want to, but I just-"

"If you think it will scare me off, it won't Kurt." Blaine said as he figured out what Kurt might have been terrified of, and Kurt looked at him with hopeful eyes, as Blaine smiled at him, "I like you, and I still want to get to know you."

Kurt returned the small smile. It was sad but it was there.

"Thank you. It's hard to go through it all."

"Take your time."

"I can't say his name...I never could after...afterwards...but I-"

"It's ok." Blaine said as the comforting calm tone came over his voice again and Kurt took a deep breath as he prepared the story in his head.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_Kurt was excited. His father was going away to Chicago to meet with some guys about the tyre shop. He was having financial trouble, but Kurt hadn't really paid much attention._

_He just knew he was going to spend the week with his favourite Uncle. He wasn't really his uncle, he was a close friend of his father's, had been for years. His father Burt, and his mother Catherine, had known this man since high school, and he worked with Burt in the garage too._

_He had always babysat for his parents, and Kurt had so much fun being around him. He loved him._

_They played soccer when he was 4 and 5, he was taken to the park a lot of the time when he was between 6 and 8 years old. He always took him out for ice-cream too._

_So this is why Kurt was so excited. He was excited to show his uncle his new clothes, as it was his birthday about a month ago, but he hadn't been around to show him. He had been ill._

_Kurt had more fashion sense now, his jeans and shirts and vests were all top of the range in the kids wear department. He was looking forward to spending the time he cherished with a man he loved almost as much as his own father._

_The front door of the house opened, and Kurt literally threw himself into his uncle's arms. He was picked up and spun around and a kiss landed on his forehead which made him giggle._

_"Hey Uncle ....., do you like my clothes? I got them for my birthday!" He said as he was placed back down, and he did a little spin as the man chuckled down at him._

_"Very nice, buddy, you look very smart."_

_His father and his uncle discussed things while Kurt went to put his bag of things in the spare room, where he had stayed before on some nights here._

_"Kurt, I'm leaving, come give your old man a hug kid!" Burt called back up the stairs and Kurt placed his clothes on the bed with a smile before racing back down to jump into his father's arms._

_"Are you sure it's ok for him to stay, I know how ill you've been." Burt asked the man, who gave him a kind but tired looking smile._

_"We'll be ok, Burt, right Kurt?"_

_Kurt nodded his head with a excited grin as his father hugged him close and tight._

_"You be good for ..... yeah?" Burt told him in a kind but stern voice, and Kurt nodded again._

_"I will daddy, I promise."_

_"Ok then," Burt nodded and then turned to head for the door, "i'll call every day to ask how things are going ok?"_

_"We'll be alright Burt."_

_His father waved goodbye to both of them as he made his way back down the path to his truck, blowing a kiss to Kurt on the way. Kurt blew one back before his father drove off, and then he turned to ..... with a big smile._

_"What shall we do first?" He asked with a bright grin and the man smiled back down at him._

_"Why don't you go get washed up and we can put in a movie right now, and eat dinner on the couch." He said and Kurt turned to run back up the stairs quickly._

_He always loved their movie nights. ..... always sang along with the Disney songs, and Kurt loved that._

_..... bought them a pizza and when Kurt was finished and had come back down, he had the plates and the salad ready on the table and the big pizza box was open and inviting. Kurt grinned as he settled on the couch, his socked feet wriggling around as ..... placed a dvd into the television and started a movie._

_"I'm not sure if you've seen this one, Kurt," he said as he sat back down, "it's Finding Nemo."_

_"Oh my gosh! No I haven't seen it yet!"_

_As they settled in to watch the movie, ..... reached over to run his fingers through Kurt's hair, causing Kurt to look up at him from biting into his pizza slice with a smile. He smiled back at him warmly before turning back to the movie._

_After the movie was finished, ...... decided he needed to go grocery shopping, so Kurt went to put his shoes and jacket on to wait by the door for him. Shopping had been fun, they raced around the aisles with Kurt in the cart, like they used to do, although Kurt was probably too big for it now, he enjoyed it._

_They bought more snacks and ice-cream for later too, and then went back home._

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"It was a good day, I loved spending time with him," Kurt explained as Blaine sat anxiously listening, "I always did. Sometimes I even wished he was my real uncle...I really was too innocent for my own good."

"No-one would blame you for loving this guy, he was good to you before."

"yeah." Kurt sighed, and then with a frown he turned to Blaine, "I had no clue that he had anything like that in mind...."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_Kurt had never seen ..... drink. But here he was sitting next to him on his third bottle of beer, and it made Kurt feel a little uncomfortable. But he accepted it, his father had beer sometimes and if Kurt was honest he hated the smell but if that's what adults did then he wouldn't complain._

_But should ..... really be drinking if he was ill._

_His father had told him he was sick, but Kurt didn't understand what it was._

_After the sixth bottle within an hour though, ...... seemed different. he was looking at Kurt with a dark look, and Kurt was confused. Where were the warm brown eyes from before, he loved his uncle but this man in front of him now, getting drunk, was not the person he knew._

_"You know, when I was 13, I tried my first beer," he said a little slurred, "did you know that?"_

_Kurt shook his head, mouth in a tight line._

_"Have you tried it?"_

_He shook his head again, wrinkling his nose when the bottle was thrust at his face._

_"Want to?"_

_"No, thank you." He said quietly and the man chuckled._

_"I didn't think so," he said with a deep voice, and Kurt felt his stomach twist a little in fear, "you're a good kid. You know that right?"_

_Kurt nodded with a small smile._

_"But all good kids have their bad sides," he slurred as he leaned into Kurt's space on the couch, and Kurt leaned away, "what's wrong? I thought you loved me Kurt?"_

_Kurt's eyebrows furrowed a little in concern and confusion, head tilted at his uncle. What was going on?_

_"You love me right?" The man said with a lighter tone of voice, sounding like he always did and Kurt nodded slowly, "that's it. I knew it."_

_The man hummed under his breath, raising a hand and placing it on Kurt's knee in a soft patting motion. The hand stayed there though, and then started moving around in small circles._

_"You know, I always wanted a kid like you," he explained as Kurt became increasingly uncomfortable, but he had no reason to move himself away, "but before we could even start trying, she left me."_

_Kurt didn't say anything. He stiffened as the hand on his knee moved up his thigh a little._

_"But then she was always a selfish bitch."_

_Kurt's eyebrows raised in shock. His uncle never uttered curse words in front of him. He was always so put together and decent and kind._

_Maybe it was the beer._

_"You would never hurt me like that would you Kurt?" he said as the hand slid higher on Kurt's thigh, and Kurt tried to move his leg away but the man gripped him a little harder, keeping his leg where it was, "hmmm, you wouldn't abandon me would you?"_

_"I-i think I'm going t-to go t-to b-bed now." Kurt stammered out quietly and tried to get up from the couch but the man quickly threw his empty beer bottle on the ground and then placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder, keeping him in place._

_Kurt squirmed a little as he tried to get his uncle to let him go._

_"What you don't want to sit with your Uncle ...... anymore?" The man said in a strange voice, that made Kurt want to run, "don't be like her."_

_The man's hand on his shoulder moved to cup his face, and Kurt's terrified blue eyes refused to look into the dark ones in front of him. He hummed again as he moved a thumb over his cheek._

_"You know you could have been a girl Kurt," he said and then leaned closer, "your skin is soft, and that voice could easily be mistaken for one."_

_"L-let m-me go....p-p-please."_

_"Aww, don't be frightened Kurt, this is all natural." he slurred into the side of Kurt's face, "I know you love me, and you may not know it yet, but you want this."_

_"N-no."_

_"Yes you do," he said as he placed a sloppy kiss against Kurt's cheek, his breath hot on Kurt's face, "look at that, my good boy keeping still for me."_

_Kurt squirmed to get away from the touch as the hand on his thigh slid up to the front of his pyjama bottoms._

_Now Kurt was afraid, very afraid._

_"You ever been kissed before Kurt? I mean the other kids at school play kissing games right?"_

_Kurt shook his head quickly, and reaching out with his hands to push him away but his wrists were grabbed roughly. Kurt was shaking now, what was happening?_

_"I'll do you a favour, if you return it," the man said in a whisper against his ear, that made Kurt's skin crawl a little, "I'll kiss you, to show what it's like, and then I want you to do something for me."_

_His face was held in place by a rough hand and as lips covered his own Kurt gave a small cry._

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt's eyes closed at the memory of that kiss, and he inhaled a deep breath as he paused in his story.

He looked over at Blaine, who had his eyes cast down at his hands, a scowl of anger on his face. 

"You had your first kiss stolen." Blaine said quietly, voice tight with anger at what happened, and Kurt shrugged with a frown of his own.

"I had a lot stolen from me that night."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_Kurt ran from his bedroom later that night, to empty his stomach into the toilet. He was trembling and had been crying for hours. He wanted his dad back, he wanted to be taken away._

_Why did his uncle do that to him? Why would he hurt him?_

_His sobs only got louder the more he wretched into the toilet bowl in front of him, streams of tears running down his face to drop into the water as well._

_He hurt all over._

_His bottom area worst of all._

_And he didn't understand what happened. Why had it happened? It had felt wrong and so painful._

_He wanted his daddy._

_He wanted to go home._

_He cried himself into a restless sleep that night, huddled on the bathroom rug._


	11. Chapter 11

Blaine had no idea what to say.

So he didn't say anything.

He tried not to imagine a tiny, scared, emotional, hurt, little Kurt sobbing in the bathroom of a house owned by the man who did sick and cruel and twisted things to him, calling desperately for his father, anybody, to save him and take him away.

It got to his heart, it made it ache. He couldn't imagine how that must have felt, he must have been so vulnerable and terrified. 

Blaine closed his eyes at the onslaught of awful and sad and angering images entering his mind. Kurt was murmuring something to him from the chair and Blaine looked up at him, realizing that Kurt was trying to comfort Blaine himself.

However he could.

It sounded like humming or quiet singing.

"What?" Blaine asked and Kurt sang a little louder.

"....blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see..."

"You didn't tell me you could sing." Blaine pointed out as Kurt's voice trailed off a little, as Kurt became slightly embarrassed.

"My mother loved the Beatles." He said and Blaine smiled a little sadly.

"You sound great." 

"Thanks."

They sank into silence again. Neither of them knowing what to say next and Kurt sighed as he pushed himself out of the chair. Blaine watched him walk over to the small dresser he kept at the side of his bed and then dug around in one drawer for a second before producing a couple of pictures.

He sat on the bed next to Blaine, with about an inch of space between their thighs, and Blaine waited patiently for him to speak.

He handed one of the pictures to Blaine, who took it from him gently, trying not to touch Kurt's fingers.

"That's my mother." Kurt supplied as Blaine looked at the lady in the photograph.

She was slim, and was wearing a white hat, laughing at something beyond the camera. She was beautiful, with pale skin, warm blue eyes that shone in the sunlight within the picture. Her hair was shoulder length, wavy, and a very light brown. 

"She's beautiful..." Blaine said quietly as he traced over her features with a finger, before looking back up at Kurt's face, seeing some similarities between the mother and her son.

As Kurt reached out to take it back he put another one within Blaine's grasp and Blaine almost gasped when he saw the picture.

"This is you?" He asked as he spied a very slim, brightly smiling, confident looking teenage boy, wearing a very fashionable jacket. 

His hair was auburn and was up very high in a coif on his head, his skin was pale but not unhealthily, and the slight redness on his cheeks made him look younger. He had an arm thrown around and older man's waist and they were both smiling together for the picture.

"In high school." Kurt nodded, "I was 15 there."

"That's your dad?" Blaine smiled as he continued looking at the gruff man in the baseball cap in the picture.

"Yeah." Kurt said and then handed Blaine another picture of the whole family when Kurt must have only been about 7 years old, "I think this was the last family one we took before she died."

"You look like your mother."

"My father always said that too."

The mood had been lightened somewhat now and Blaine could see that Kurt wanted to smile but found it difficult. Much like Blaine himself at this point. 

"Did you want to go order that pizza now?" Blaine asked and Kurt nodded slowly as he place the pictures back into the drawer.

"I guess so."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"So am I the only person you have told?" Blaine asked around a slice of pizza, and Kurt swallowed his mouthful of it before raising an eyebrow in his direction.

"Other than my father, grandmother, the police officers and doctors in Lima, the therapists and doctors in New York..." 

"Ok I get it." Blaine smirked at him a little as Kurt teased him with his explanation, before sighing and stretching his back against the couch, "How's the hand?"

"It's ok, doesn't really hurt." Kurt responded with a shrug as he lifted his hand and moved his fingers around for Blaine to see.

"It's your drawing hand though right?"

"Yes."

"So will you be out of action for the next few days?"

"No, it should be fine to paint with," Kurt said with a smile before reaching for another slice of pizza, "I don't want to stop, we're nearly finished."

Blaine hummed in agreement.

"I'm sorry about date night by the way." Kurt said quietly and Blaine raised an eyebrow as he looked over to him.

"Kurt, no please...don't feel bad about this," he said aching to reach out and touch him, "you couldn't have predicted what was going to happen tonight it's ok."

"I dragged you into the dark with me." Kurt said and Blaine frowned a little at the analogy.

If Kurt was thinking he had dragged Blaine into the darkness of his life, then Blaine would happily go. If it was to get to be with Kurt, friends, lovers or somewhere in the middle, he would do it. Truth was, Blaine liked him. Kurt was intelligent and beautiful, strong and brave, interesting and creative. Blaine could sit and watch him paint for hours, could listen to him talk for days. 

If that meant them both being in the dark, then so be it.

"I would rather be with you in the dark than you be alone." He replied slowly and Kurt turned to him with a shocked and oddly curious expression, while Blaine just smiled at him softly.

"That's the most depressingly sad but also sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." Kurt said with his own smile, and Blaine blushed slightly and looked down at his hands.

"But true too."

There was a pause after that, and Blaine thought maybe Kurt was thinking about what he said and maybe trying to think up an answer. He was right about one thing, Kurt was thinking but he wasn't thinking about that. Kurt was staring at Blaine's fingers, which were mingled together in a sort of shy way, and all he could think was that he wanted to touch.

"...Blaine." He said slowly and a little unsure which made Blaine look up to him with slight confusion.

"Hm?"

"Can you just stay still for a second?" Kurt asked and he looked at him confused.

"Wha-"

"Just, stay still." Kurt interrupted and Blaine sat impossibly still at the quiet but harsh words.

"Ok."

He watched with fascination as Kurt was staring at one of his hands. But he kept completely still and waited. One of Kurt's own hands slowly inched it's way from in front of Kurt's knee to hover over Blaine's hand. Blaine could hear Kurt's breathing becoming a little harsher as his fingers shook.

"You don't-"

"Ssh." Kurt interrupted him again, his hand stilling momentarily and Blaine's mouth slid shut as he waited still frozen to his spot, his eyes and Kurt's, on the hand that was still reaching out and shaking slightly.

Blaine had to close his eyes to remain still, and not reach his own hand up towards Kurt's own, he didn't want to scare him off. He shut them tight, his own breath stuttering a little as he heard Kurt's own harsher, faster intake of breaths.

Just as the tension seemed to be too much for him, and he was about to snap and tell Kurt not to do it, there was a brush of one warm fingertip against his own middle finger, and then all of the fingers on Kurt's hand rested on top of Blaine's own, before he pulled swiftly away again.

Blaine opened his eyes and threw Kurt a warm smile.

Even with Kurt's wide eyes and harsh breathing, he managed a smile back. It was one of pride and awe, and Blaine felt like there was nothing more beautiful in the whole world than Kurt's face right now.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt was a little braver now that he had already touched Blaine. 

He didn't flinch away if Blaine moved too close to sit next to him, or if they walked together and nearly brushed hands. It was a little progress and it made them both a lot more giddy. Which you could tell only by their smiles.

Kurt had been using more vibrant colours this week in the painting of Blaine, and his model really wanted to be able to watch him work, but it was impossible because he had to sit in place.

They worked on it for 4 days, and then on the Friday Kurt told Blaine he didn't need to do anything with it yet. They could have a days break and work on it on Monday, when he needed to finish the light accents and dark tones of the piece.

Blaine had been working on his own studies at the table on Friday afternoon , when he felt a hand gently touch his naked elbow. He turned to catch Kurt's gaze, and then saw that Kurt was offering him a coffee.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you call me?" Blaine asked a little confused at the touch for his attention but Kurt just smiled and shook his head.

"No." He replied and Blaine watched his face as he turned to sit at his desk to work on something else. 

He didn't really understand but if Kurt wanted to grab his attention by touching him instead of talking to him then he wouldn't complain. It was all going in a positive direction.

He even seemed better with Rachel around, he didn't flinch and didn't frown at her or roll his eyes, he was talking to her a lot more, which she enjoyed. 

Kurt was changing a little and it felt like a good step from the quiet introverted guy he met weeks ago.

He smiled as he watched Kurt and Rachel at the counter trying to work on dinner. They were laughing and working together on a recipe and Blaine got up to help, he couldn't sit back and waste this opportunity to do something together.

Dinner was a bit of a disaster and they were all covered in water and flour, and eggs, Kurt had started the food fight, claiming he was being creative as an art students brain found anything beautiful and captivating. As soon as Blaine had thrown flour over his head though, the war was started.

They were laughing so much it was hard to breathe and stand, sinking down to the messy kitchen floor, Blaine almost ran his finger through the red hair on top of Kurt's head, but he only just pulled back at the last second. As Kurt got himself off of the floor though, he used one of Blaine's shoulders for balance, and Blaine positively glowed at that.

Kurt had told him that night about the different meds. Blaine had asked when he saw the bottles of course, and Kurt gave him a tight smile before sighing and explaining.

"How many do you take in day?" He asked and Kurt slumped a little before Blaine backtracked his question a little, "I mean do you need to?"

"Well, some of the meds I take affect my body differently, so then I take more meds to deal with those effects."

"I don't understand."

"My anxiety medication sometimes causes me to be sick," Kurt explained a little slower, "so I take anti nausea medication so that I'm not sick."

"Ok."

"And my anti-depressants cause headaches sometimes, so I take aspirin too." 

"And the sleeping pills?"

"There are two different doses," Kurt said as he picked them up, "if I have a good day I may only need a little bit to deal with my insomnia, but if I had a bad day-"

"You need more."

"Yep..." Kurt paused and then looked at Blaine out of the corner of one eye, that Blaine could tell was heavy with fatigue and sadness, "it helps with nightmares too."

Blaine's mouth dropped open a little.

"Oh."

Kurt nodded as he slipped the bottles back into the cabinet in the bathroom before turning to regard Blaine, who was looking so down outside the door.

"Hey." He said and Blaine's face tilted up, although his eyes remained sad, "It's ok, I'm used to taking them by now. It's been 7 years."

"I just-"

"Wish you could help?" Kurt finished for him and Blaine smiled a little.

How did Kurt know how to read him so well? He nodded and Kurt sighed before reaching to place a tentative and shaky hand on his wrist, Blaine didn't move.

"Thank you for trying to look out for me, I appreciate Blaine," Kurt told him with a small sad smile, "it's my head that needs to get around things. It helps though, to be surrounded by people I like."

"Good." Blaine said with a proper smile this time and then Kurt released his wrist with a shaky breath in.

"I should go to bed."

"Yeah, I'm going to go home." Blaine said with a nod as he walked backwards, hands in his pockets, "but I'll see you on Sunday."

"Yes, see you on Sunday."

They both had smiles on their faces in bed later that night, thinking of all the things they could be doing on Sunday. And all the things that they could do forever.


	12. Chapter 12

Sunday date nights were something that Kurt really looked forward too, and this one was made even more special because he felt like he could take the next step and actually hold Blaine's hand.

He hadn't told Blaine this of course, because if it didn't happen he didn't want to see the look of disappointment in Blaine's eyes.

He wanted to see that eternal happiness, that excitement and thrill in his eyes whenever Kurt brushed his hand over him.

Blaine's expressive eyes were one of the best things Kurt had ever seen. Especially when Blaine was happy. Those eyes turned from warm chocolate brown and green to liquid honey colour. It was so interesting and they were really a sight to behold.

Blaine still hadn't given him any clues about what they would be doing on this Sunday, and he almost went crazy deciding what to wear. And Rachel was no help to him at all, everything she picked out for him, he just shot her a glare and kept looking through his closet.

She huffed after a while and left him to it. But he still couldn't decide what to wear.

After about another hour and with only 40 minutes until Blaine got to the apartment, he decided on just deep purple coloured skinny jeans and a dark grey long sleeved shirt, the arms of which he rolled up to his elbows and he picked out his cream coloured jacket to go over the top.

As soon as that was chosen, he fixed his hair in the mirror, making sure the colours in it were in their right places. He used hairspray to heighten the red part on top.

He stared at his face for about 10 minutes trying to decided whether he should remove all of his piercings. Blaine liked him anyway, but he thought about making himself more presentable.

His piercings, in a way, were protection. People tended to avoid him because he looked like a punk, but tonight, maybe he should remove them and really open himself up to Blaine.

He carefully removed his lip ring, and then worked on his eyebrow, he would leave the tongue one in for now. No point in removing that one, its not like they would be kissing tonight.

He blushed as he thought of kissing Blaine, but he scowled at himself in the mirror and shook the thought away.

He just finished moisturizing his face when there was a knock on their apartment door. Rachel called out that she was getting it and Kurt took a few more minutes to straighten out his clothes and make sure he looked ok.

"Kurt?! Are you done?" Rachel called out and he rolled his eyes before leaving the bathroom.

As he walked into the short hallway he could hear Rachel gushing over Blaine and he really needed to refrain from rolling his eyes again.

As he turned into the living area he stopped and stared. Blaine was wearing a burgundy coloured jacket with black jeans, cuffs rolled up away from.his black shoes, a white sweater and what looked like a pink polo shirt underneath.

It was the tiniest splash of colour, and the burgundy coloured jacket set it right off. He wasn't wearing a bowtie tonight, but Kurt thought he looked-

"Beautiful." He breathed out loud and Blaine smiled at him, beaming that bright one that shows off all of his teeth and Kurt realized what he said and blushed himself.

"You're the one that's beaut-" Blaine paused and then took a good look at him, "Kurt, did you do something with your face?"

Kurt only raised an eyebrow as he looked back at him. Did he mean-?

"Wait, you removed the piercings. Oh my god! Wow, you look different," Blaine said a little too excitedly and Kurt looked a little uncomfortable, "I mean it's a good different, I get to see your whole face."

"I thought I would try it, for tonight." Kurt said a little quietly and they both gave him a sympathetic look.

"You didn't have to, for me, I liked them." Blaine told him and Kurt smirked a little.

"I know but I thought I would take them out," Kurt said with a shrug and Rachel walked away from them both, knowing to give them some space, "It has a different meaning to me, I guess."

"I get it." Blaine said with a small smile, "Thank you for trusting me enough to do it."

"It's ok."

"So....are you ready?" Blaine asked with a grin and Kurt nodded.

"Yes."

"Good, lets go."

Blaine was quiet as they walked a few blocks, and Kurt enjoyed the peace that being in his presence brought him. But after a while Kurt started getting curious of where they might be going.

So he began bugging Blaine. Which was new to both of them.

"Ok, so I've been extremely patient." He started and Blaine huffed a tiny laugh before turning to him with a smile.

"Yes you have."

"So now can you tell me where we're going tonight?"

"Why do you need to know?" Blaine evaded with a smirk and Kurt groaned and rolled his eyes but there was a tiny smile on his own face, "You told me that you trusted me, and I promised to not take you anywhere triggering or harmful."

"I know, I do trust you," He told Blaine as they turned a corner, Blaine leading the way, and Blaine turned to regard him with warm honey eyes, "I just want to know."

"But then it wouldn't be a surprise." He said and Kurt dropped his head down onto his chest.

"Blaaaaaiiine." He whined playfully.

"Kuuuurrrrrt." Came a rather playful whine in reply and Kurt laughed a little before crossing his arms.

"So not fair." He said with a pout and Blaine actually did laugh out loud, before gazing ahead of them and then leading them both across the street.

"We're nearly there anyway."

"Really?"

"Uhuh," Blaine grinned at the excited look on Kurt's face, and then pointed with his finger, "Look over there."

"Is that a-"

There was a huge poster, advertising a massive art show to be held tonight. And what looked like hundreds of people crowding the doorway.

"An art show," Blaine finished for him as Kurt's mouth hung open, "of the coolest things in all of NYC."

"Oh my gosh." Kurt breathed out and Blaine smiled widely at his surprised and pleased looking face.

"Come on."

After a few minutes standing outside, the crowd was let in and then moved along, so Kurt could breathe a small sigh of relief as they entered and there was hardly anyone around the entrance to knock into him.

Blaine lead them through to the center, at the start of the huge gallery, and Kurt was in awe of the pieces, paintings, statues and figures around the place.

It was an artists dream location.

They took their time walking around the art, to avoid the crowds of people, but also so Kurt could point out his favourite pieces to Blaine and delve into the detail about them. Blaine was trying to listen to Kurt as he explained different things about some paintings but he couldn't help but just stare at Kurt's face.

It was so open and excited, and Blaine was in awe of his glowing crystal eyes. He had known that the art show was a good idea as soon as he saw the flyer for it. And now that he was watching Kurt, so interested and excited as he looked around and spoke about the art, it was really captivating to see.

When he had first noticed Kurt's lack of facial piercings, his heart had literally pounded inside his chest. 

It made a huge difference. To somebody who didn't know Kurt personally, who didn't know his back story, it wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but Blaine knew. He knew that those piercings represented Kurt hiding himself. And he was so thankful that Kurt trusted him enough to remove the layer surrounding him like a shield.

It was Kurt opening himself up more, and Blaine loved that.

"Blaine, are you listening?" Kurt asked in an amused sounding voice when he realized Blaine was staring.

Blaine snapped back into attention at the tone of Kurt's voice.

"Yes- yes I'm listening." He stammered out quickly and Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, then what did I just say?"

Ok, maybe he knew that Blaine wasn't listening.

"Erm...well- you said...erm-" 

As Blaine was trying to come up with something, but failing, Kurt snorted a little and then belted out a laugh so loud and so giddy sounding that it shocked him.

Blaine watched him try to control himself, but failing a little as he kept laughing, his mouth stretched into a wide smile, gasping and giggling as the laugh ran down a little. Blaine was staring at him with wide eyes, he couldn't look away. 

It was such a sight to behold, and the sound of Kurt's laughter was the most beautiful sound Blaine had ever heard.

"Oh Blaine," Kurt said as he wiped a tear from the corner of one eye, before turning to him with a grin, barely holding himself together, "if you weren't interested in any of this, why did you bring us here?"

"I am, Kurt, I am interested," Blaine replied as Kurt tried to get his breathing under control, and he gave him a smile, "I brought you here, because you're an artist-"

"Art student." Kurt interrupted but Blaine only smirked and ignored him.

"-and you really love all of this stuff." Blaine continued explaining and Kurt stared at him now with a warm look, "I just wanted to take you somewhere to make you happy."

The smile that eased over Kurt's lips could only be described as radiant and warm, and Kurt shook his head in a non-believing way as he reached for one of Blaine's hands with his own.

"If you wanted to make me happy," He said as his fingers closed around one of Blaine's hands, and he squeezed as tightly as he dared, while shooting Blaine a nervous but also fond look, "all you needed to do was smile."

Blaine was a little stunned, from the action and from the words Kurt had spoken. He returned the small bashful smile, as he squeezed Kurt's fingers back. 

"Well, it's my job, as the guy you're dating, to make you smile." He explained in a matter-of-fact voice, which made Kurt giggle a little, which caused Blaine to laugh too.

"You do, Blaine. Every day."


	13. Chapter 13

"Was it hard to get into college on your own?" Blaine asked one night while they were sitting and enjoying a mix of take out foods. 

Blaine had shown up at the door holding boxes of Chinese food, and Kurt had chuckled because he had just ordered dinner for him and Rachel, who was due home soon, from the Cajun restaurant on their street. They decided to share out the food, in its packaging, and sit and watch trashy television shows.

"Not really, it was just grades and money." Kurt replied as he shoved a piece of chicken into his mouth.

"Money side of it is always the toughest."

"What would you know, your parents pay for yours." Kurt told him with a smirk, playfully teasing Blaine, who whipped his head around and shot a fake hurt look at him.

"Ok, just for that, I'm taking that last egg roll." He said proudly as he grabbed it off of Kurt's pile of food containers, and Kurt chuckled while he lunged for it.

"Noooo not that."

"Nope you don't deserve it, Mr sarcastic, all mine." Blaine said as he shoved it all in his mouth, causing Kurt to laugh, "Did you ever tell your father what you wanted to be?"

"I never got the chance," Kurt shrugged, face turning a little sadder, "after the trial, the stress and money situation got to him. He had two fatal heart attacks in very quick succession. All I remember is my teacher telling me he was in the hospital and then holding his hand a day later as I was saying goodbye."

"That's awful." Blaine said, and he felt bad himself for bringing the mood down. 

"He didn't deserve it, but I'm starting to think he's beside me in everything I accomplish, so he's not really gone." Kurt explained with a small smile, which Blaine returned as they continued eating, "Plus, he's with my mom now, they're together...and hopefully awaiting my arrival at the end of my life."

"Thinking of it like that really puts life in perspective," Blaine admitted, "makes you look forward to the next stage after life is over."

"Most people are scared of death."

"I haven't been really, everyone goes one way or another." He told Kurt with a small shrug, before settling back into the couch as Kurt side eyed him.

"That is the most depressing thing I have ever heard you say," He said and Blaine gave him a smirk, "I bet you were a hoot with your friends in school."

"I had my moments. Mr dapper and charming for most of high school."

"What happened to him?" Kurt said with a laugh, and Blaine reached out to shove him.

"Haha very funny."

As the hand connected with Kurt's arm, they were both surprised when Kurt didn't flinch away from the contact, instead he accepted it and with the momentum of the push, swayed a little before righting himself again. Blaine was about to apologize when Kurt cut him off.

"Blaine." He started quietly.

"Hm?"

"I-"

He was interrupted by the apartment door swinging open, and Rachel prancing inside quickly. He clamped his mouth closed again, giving Blaine a shy smile before turning to greet his roommate.

"Hey there you two!" She smiled at them both widely as she approached, removing her jacket and shoes, eyeing the way they were seated so closely on the couch, "Oh my- isn't this cozy. I swear if I had date nights like this I wouldn't ever come home. Ooh is this Cajun, I love spicy food."

"Hi Rachel," Blaine said a little quietly as she settled on the couch, uninvited, but he plastered on a polite smile, it was her apartment after all, "why don't you join us?"

"Sure, pull up a seat." Kurt murmured beside him and Blaine shot him an amused look.

"Play nice." He whispered and Kurt stuck his tongue out back at him in retaliation.

"So what have I missed?" Rachel piped in, having missed their little bits of interaction, while she eyed them and the television.

"We were just catching up on the past week, now that I'm not modelling for Kurt anymore, we haven't had a lot of time to spend together this week." Blaine explained with a small pout.

"I've had work, and Blaine found a new job," Kurt added as he handed Rachel another container of food, "there was a new project at school, and I picked up a few more shifts for the lady that had a baby last week."

"Wow hectic week for you both." Rachel commented as she settled more into the seat.

"Yes, it has been quite the trying time." Kurt said as he and Blaine exchanged a lingering look of fondness.

"Kurt, when is your art being shown? I would love to come and have a look." She asked completely missing their moment, and Blaine sighed as he picked up another box of food, letting Kurt answer her instead.

"Erm...well, Blaine had a condition that it wasn't to be shown in the show, not to the public. It's only the teachers that will see it."

"Oh?" She seemed surprised and then turned warm eyes to Blaine, who to her looked a little uncomfortable with the situation and she jumped into protective mode, "Blaine, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Rachel, it isn't about that really, I only did it to help Kurt, I don't really feel comfortable with anyone else looking over it." Blaine said as he placed a hand over hers as he leaned forward, but realized what he had said as her eyes shone in a different light.

"Oh I see, now that you guys are dating, I guess it only makes sense that you don't want anyone else to see your body, I'd be the same way. I wouldn't be able to stand being ogled at...not if I had a boyfriend."

"Rach-"

"It's not-" They both tried to interrupt her train of thought together, but stopped.

They both shared a little look of embarrassment and her eyes grew wider as she realized why.

"Oh? I thought-" She started as the awkward silence between them all reigned over, and then she placed her hand sin her lap before sitting up, "Oh dear...well, I may just take this Cajun chicken to my room to enjoy. Excuse me."

She stood quickly gathering her food and then her bag before beating a hasty retreat to her room to avoid the awkward atmosphere.

"Blaine-"

"Kurt I-"

They both started again, at the same time, and then sighed together. Then they laughed, and it became really weird and really funny so Kurt cleared his throat and remained silent.

"You first." Blaine offered with a small smile, and Kurt raised a hand.

"Oh no, please?" He insisted and then Blaine sighed again with a shy smile, before turning his body to face Kurt.

"What she said, about the boyfriend thing...I just erm- I..."

"It's ok Blaine, don't worry. I don't really expect anything," Kurt interrupted softly, "especially after everything."

"Everything?" Blaine asked with a raised eyebrow, not understanding.

"What I told you."

"What?" Blaine was still confused, where was Kurt going with this, "I don't understand."

"Well, it would be hard to find anyone to date after hearing about what happened to me-"

Oh! That's what he was saying! Wait, no!

"Stop, stop, stop, no, no, no, Kurt." Blaine quickly started waving his hands around in a negative gesture, while almost yelling the words, and Kurt felt a little perturbed by the behaviour that he paused and backed up a little.

"Huh?"

"That's not it at all," Blaine started to explain, giving Kurt a look that was half serious, half sad, and Kurt had no idea what to make of it, "are you really suggesting that I wouldn't find you attractive or really like you, after you told me about what happened? No, please don't think that, it's not that at all. I really do like you...like a lot."

"You like me...a lot?" Kurt repeated slowly, and Blaine nodded.

"Yes." He said with a definitive answer and Kurt blushed a little and smiled down at his hands.

"Oh."

"Did you just ignore the attractive part?" Blaine asked with his own smile and Kurt looked up at him through his lashes, that adorable pink flush still present on his cheeks.

"N-no I heard it."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Can I ask you a question?" Blaine asked as they packed the food containers away, and tidied the living room area of rubbish.

They had both consciously decided not to mention Blaine's attraction anymore that night, for fear it might cause Kurt to spontaneously combust. Which Blaine did say that made Kurt roll his eyes and threaten to paint a mustache on his painting, causing them both to laugh the awkwardness away.

"Sure." Kurt replied as he placed some of their rubbish into the trash bin.

"Did your dad believe you, when you told him?"

"Yes, straight away." Kurt gave him a smile, "I wasn't really one for lying, and I wasn't being myself...he thought it was bullies at school...I guess finding out that it was something else, really made him sick to his stomach."

"Was he angry?" Blaine asked, only because if he would have been around somebody as vibrant as Kurt back then, and found that out, he might not have been able to control the rage.

"Very." Kurt said solemnly, before adding a sigh, "But in a way it was more fear, and sadness. Fear for me, and what I went through, sadness because he couldn't help me, and guilt because he left me there."

"Did you report it?"

"My dad made me give a statement straight away," Kurt said with a nod, "after we were done crying...he took me to the station, the lady officer was really nice to me, she brought me a drink and a snack. I told them about everything he had done, and that at the time I hadn't understood what it was."

"You must have been so terrified."

"I actually wasn't, I think being supported in my interview, and having that nice lady believe me wholeheartedly, was what got me through the entire thing." Kurt finished as he walked over to the counter Blaine was leaning on, and started the coffee machine.

"I guess it's what victim's fear when they go to the police, whether they'll be believed or not."

"Yeah, it went through my head a lot," Kurt said as he leaned on the counter next to Blaine, "I was 15, didn't trust anybody, was a right little stubborn jackass. My father was my rock though, and the support workers I was assigned to while it was ongoing were so incredibly nice. They never made me feel like it was my fault."

"Why would it be your fault?" Blaine furrowed his brows as he watched him, and Kurt shrugged.

"It's not just other people that shame the victims, victims shame themselves too. I thought about my actions a lot over my teen years," Kurt told him as the coffee machine beeped, and he turned to grab two mugs, "you know, the whole 'did I do anything to make him think I wanted it? Was I bad? Did I somehow coerce him?'...stuff like that."

"When did that stop?" 

"About the time I realized I had to tell my father. And maybe stop other kids from going through this."

"Well, you're very brave," Blaine told him and Kurt raised an eyebrow at him sceptically while handing him his coffee, and Blaine gave him a small smile, "I mean it. You are brave."

"I think you may be biased." Kurt smirked and placed a hand on his arm lightly, and Blaine grinned a little shyly.

"Maybe, but no less true."


	14. Chapter 14

Kurt's final art project was a great success for him, he received the highest grade for it that he could. His two art teachers were very impressed with the way it was composed. The half and half colour scheme of it was extraordinary. 

As soon as Kurt had texted Blaine with his result, Blaine had called him.

"Why don't you come to the club with me tonight? In celebration of your art project recieving a high grade?" He said on the phone, with a hopeful tone and Kurt smiled softly at that, but then sighed into the phone.

"I don't know, there will be lots of people there."

"No, I'll take you to a little one, a favourite of mine, hardly any people." Blaine explained and then paused briefly as Kurt thought about it, "Please?"

"I guess we can try." Kurt said into the phone quietyl and Blaine whooped loudly on the other end, making him laugh.

"Thank you, I promise, you'll like it."

They had made plans over text, because Blaine was a little busy with school work of his own, and then later that night Blaine turned up to take him out.

As soon as they got to the corner where Blaine had told him the small club was, they saw crowds of people around, standing in a long line outside. Blaine looked a little shocked at first and then turned to Kurt with a small apologetic grimace.

"Ok, so maybe they have an event on tonight, that brought in more people than I thought." He said and Kurt smiled back at him a little uncomfrotably, "Did you wanna go home?"

Kurt thought about it for a while. He had grown more comfortable around Blaine over the last few weeks, and was able to touch him and be touched, but other people were still a difficult thing for him to deal with. But then turning to the man next to him, seeing the crestfallen look on his face, Kurt shook off his little bit of fear and smiled at him.

"No." He said firmly and Blaine's eyes widened a little comically.

"You sure? You don't have to do this."

"No, I'm sure." Kurt said without a trace of trepidation in his voice and watched as Blaine visibly relaxed.

"Ok, just stay close."

"Not a problem."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt was fairing pretty well, in a club full of people. Blaine had offered to get hima drink while he sat at a table, but Kurt had preferred to stay close to him. Blaine didn't mind of course, he loved that Kurt trusted him so much.

As they approached the bar, they waited for a big enough space to fit in next to it, and Blaine made sure that he shielded Kurt's body from other people, in case any stumbling drunk people were to brush past him.

"My favourite cocktail is 2 for one, want one?" He asked over the nosie aroundd them and Kurrt gave hima smile before shaking his head.

"I don't drink." Kurt told him and Blaine made a surprised face before smiling slightly.

"Oh," he said as he grabbed his wallet from his pocket, "maybe virgin mojitos then?"

Kurt laughed at the ridiculous grin Blaine had on his face, and decided to look around while Blaine ordered the drinks. It was a spacious club, but with the amount of people inside, it looked smaller. Kurt was out of his comfort zone, but he felt ridiculously safe standing with Blaine. 

He couldn't help but smile a little to himself and bob his head to the music that was playing. He wouldn't be confident enough to dance out there, but he appreciated the change of scenery.

"There you go, one virgin cocktail for you." Blaine said as he placed the glass in Kurt's hand, and Kurt had to laugh at the brightly coloured drink.

"Your favourite drink?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow and Blaine laughed good naturedly.

"What? I like pink." He said and took an exaggerated sip of his drink, making Kurt snort a little.

"If you say so."

They remained silent for a moment, while sipping on their drinks and making their way around the club, avoiding the big crowds of party goers. Kurt became a little more confident after a while, and began swaying along to the music. Blaine did too, but never left Kurt's side. 

Their arms were brushing against each other on every sway, and Kurt felt a little dizzy with the contact. He knew Blaine liked him, and he liked Blaine. The pace their relationship was keeping was great for now, but Kurt often wondered what it would be like to kiss him sometimes.

He wasn't at that point yet, after all they had only been on 4 dates so far. And Kurt liked the slow build of freindship eventually turning into something more. They were at the between stage, falling slowly but surely. But the burn of the ache when he stared at Blaine's smile was getting stronger. 

It was enough for him to believe that Blaine wouldn't initiate contact unless Kurt did. And he wanted to, but they still had some way to go beefore he felt comfortable enough to lean in.

Blaine had asked if he wanted another drink after they had finished theirs, but he shook his head, telling Blaine that if he wanted another one, he would wait for him by the wall. Blaine looked hesitant to leave him at first, glancing between Kurt and the crowds of people around them nervously.

But Kurt waved off his concern and Blaine promised to be right back.

Kurt wstched him go, a little fear striking at him, but he managed to shrug it off. Maybe it would be better for him if he could trust that nothing would happen within crowds of people. After all, he couldn't rely on just Blaine's touch forever.

He slightly stiffened as a drunk girl stumbled a little toto close, but she didn't touch him so he relaxed slightly as she steadied herself and wandered off.

Maybe he was kidding himself.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine was worried.

He was standing at the bar, waiting for his turn to order, glancing back every few seconds to check on Kurt, seeing that he was still ok before turning back.

It was literally killing his already frazzled nerves.

Kurt didn't do well in crowds, and now he was alone. Blaine was such a douchebag.

He sighed as the lady in front of him grabbed her drink and then left, and he apporached the bar to place his order. As he was waiting for his drink, he heard a bit of commotion behind him, someone dropping a glass and then a little laughter. He turned to look back at Kurt, and found him watching the scene with slight amusement.

He sighed again, maybe he was just worrying for nothing.

He grabbed his drink, once the bartender gave it to him, and turned back to walk over to where Kurt was. As he approached he could see that someone was talking to Kurt, obviously a little too closely, seeing as how Kurt was tense and trying very hard to keep himself in check. 

Blaine hurried over and tried to get through the people in time to save him, but his eyes widened when he saw the guy's hand reach out to touch Kurt. 

Everything seemed to slow down, and the roar of the crowd around him seemed to quiet a little, his blood rushed in his own ears as he watched Kurt flinch away. Obviously the guy was drunk, as the move Kurt made didn't register with him, and he kept reaching for him.

Blaine was almost through the last of the people, when the guy actually touched Kurt's arm.

He expected Kurt to shriek, or scream, or even yell at the guy to back off. What he didn't expect was for Kurt to lean back against the wall heavily and grimace like he was going to cry. Blaine saw him mumble something to the guy touching him, but obviously too quiet for the creep to catch as the hand on his arm trailed down it.

Blaine reached them and moved his own hand out to snatch the strangers wrist and jerk his hand from Kurt's arm, causing both Kurt and the inebriated guy to turn to him. 

"Hey, what the hell-" The guy was about to object but Blaine glared intensely at the jerk and pushed him back away from Kurt slightly.

"Go hound someone else, and leave my boyfriend alone." he all but growled at the guy, and watched as the drunk man's eyes widened a little in fear before he backed away.

As Blaine turned back to Kurt to ask if he was okay, he almost stumbled as Kurt's enitre body slammed into his, arms wrapping around Blaine's neck, and a small sigh of relief was breathed into the collar of his shirt.

He wrapped his own arms loosely around Kurt's upper back, being extra careful about touching places on Kurt's body, and felt him tremble slightly.

"I want to go home now." Kurt whispered into Blaine's shirt and he felt himself nodding before abandoning his drink on a nearby table and walking with Kurt through the club to the exit.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Boyfriend?" Kurt asked from the couch, beneath a blanket, holding a mug of coffee between his still slightly shaky hands.

They had been back at the apartment for about an hour now, and Kurt had calmed down a lot from what happened. Blaine had given him a blanket and sat him down, made coffee for both of them and then sat beside him waiting for the calm to descend.

"Hm?" Blaine raised an eyebrow as he stared over at Kurt.

"You called me your boyfriend," Kurt said quietly, turning to give Blaine a small smile, "was that a spur of the moment choice of words?"

"Oh erm-" Blaine stammered as he became a little embarrassed, which Kurt found a little amusing.

"I mean you got the guy away from me, but I-"

"Well...I mean, i'd like to think of you that way." Blaine interrupted quietly and Kurt raised an eyebrow at him before snorted softly.

"Boyfriends do a lot more than just hold hands sometimes." He said with a shake of his head, and Blaine frowned.

"Not necessarily."

"Why would you want to be with somebody who may not be able to do more than...what we have already?" Kurt asked as he curled in on hismelf a little tighter and Blaine had enough of this self deprecating and swung himself out of his seat, glaring down at the blanket fort Kurt created around himself.

"Why?! Why on earth do you think?!" He almost yelled and Kurt looked up at him like he had been slapped, and Blaine felt a little bad about it, but he kept going, trying to drum it into his thick skull, "Your past doesn't matter to me Kurt. It shaped the person you are today, you lost something you can never get back, I get it. But I like you! Maybe even love you."

Kurt watched him from his blanket, with wide slightly terrified but awe struck eyes, and Blaine continued ranting.

"I don't care if I never get a kiss, I don't care about sex, I don't care about never being able to share more than smiles and soft touches. I care about you, ok?! I thought that much was pretty obvious, but obviously not to someone as thick as you."

"Yeah because it's so easy being me!" Kurt yelled back, removing the covers from over his head and glaring back at Blaine, "to not be able to hug people, or touch anyone without fear. You don't have to deal with all this shit, Blaine!"

"Why don't you trust me enough to be there for you, whatever that is? Because I want to Kurt, I want to be your boyfriend."

"Because I don't want to hurt you!" Kurt screamed at the top of his voice, and Blaine felt like he was the one who was slapped.

"Hurt me?" Blaine asked a little calmer now, voice gentle, as he sat on the coffee table facing Kurt, who ws pointedly avoiding his gaze now, "How do you figure that you'll hurt me?"

"By seeing that sad look in your eyes, whenever I pull away, watching those eyes cloud over with despair when I flinch and pull back...I've seen it and it kills me." Kurt's voice choked on the last word and Blaine felt like a real jerk.

"It's only sadness for you, not for me, because I know what you went through, and I know you're trying so hard," Blaine said softly and Kurt gave him a hard, disbelieving look, "but you don't have to push yourself to be the perfect boyfriend...I think you're already perfect."

Kurrt's eyebrows shot up to his hairline at Blaine's soft admission, and watched the red blush flow over Blaine's cheeks before he softened his own gaze.

"I'm far from perfect." He added and Blaine laughed.

"Perfectly imperfect then." Blaine said with a smile, which caused Kurt's lips to twitch up slightly too, "but it doesn't matter, I still want to be with you."

They exchanged a small smile, before Kurt sighed and sunk down into the blanket again.

Blaine heard a whispered "Ok" and felt his face split into the widest grin he had ever managed.


	15. Chapter 15

Something amazing happened after Blaine had literally told Kurt some home truths. Kurt felt a little sturdier now, than he had for years. The touches became more tolerable, even Rachel had noticed a difference, because Kurt became more comfortable with her sitting closer and even brushing past him in the kitchen or on the couch. 

Kurt's therapist had also noticed a difference with him, and the doctors had been surprised when he had made an appointment to tell them to reduce his medication because he was sleeping better without it.

Kurt had still not told anyone else, other than Blaine, about what had happened. And even telling Blaine he hadn't divulged all of the details. He was getting closer though, to telling Blaine everything. He always wanted to honest, and Blaine had yelled at him about not caring about Kurt's past, he just wanted to be with him.

Kurt blushed whenever he thought of Blaine now, and the touches. Even though at the moment it hadn't moved past hands, arms, sometimes Blaine's hand would linger over Kurt's back, and then there were the hugs. Kurt initiated all of them, because he knew Blaine wouldn't want to push him, but Kurt actually loved hugging him.

He was hopeful that his contact with Blaine would be the catalyst he needed to get back to the way he was when he was 12. He loved hugs and holding hands when he was young, it was just that he was a very confident and affectionate child. 

And after everything that happened he lost a part of himself, and he thought he would never get it back, but now that Blaine had brought out a little bit more of that confidence again, he felt like he could. At least he was almost there. 

It would still be a long time before he was comfortable enough and other people touching him wouldn't make him feel physically sick anymore. 

"Hey."

He was brought out of his reverie, where he was sitting staring down at a piece of paper, working on a drawing for another art project, by Blaine's voice. 

Rachel had let Blaine into the apartment as she left for work, smiling back at him and waving goodbye. He smiled up at his boyfriend, who placed a hand on his shoulder in greeting before sitting down next to him.

"Hey," he replied, as Blaine's fingers snuck a little into his red hair as he sat down, "I thought you had school today?"

"Nope, all of my classes are finished for the week now," Blaine told him with that cheeky grin he loved so much, "what are working on?"

"Another project," he replied, shaking his head down at the page before giving Blaine a tight smile, "we need to depict something that inspires us. Well that's what the professor said."

"And do you have something?" Blaine asked and Kurt sighed as he shook his head and leaned back against the cushions of the couch.

"Nope....nada...not a thing."

"Maybe I can help?"

"How?" Kurt focused one eye on Blaine, with a raised eyebrow as he shrugged.

"Maybe you could draw your parents?" Blaine said carefully as Kurt's eyes widened as he shot him a surprised look, and Blaine only looked back with softness in his eyes, "you said your father was incredible, and in a way, your parents inspired you to be who you are, right?"

Kurt thought over the idea, before a smile stretched across his face. He glanced over at Blaine, who was patiently waiting with a tentative but hopeful look on his face and he reached a hand out and placed it on his cheek.

"Have I told you how much I adore you lately?" He said softly and Blaine's eyes shone a little, giving Kurt his own smile.

"No, you haven't."

"Well, I do," Kurt said and then leaned in to him a little nervously, while Blaine held still, and placed a gentle kiss against his other cheek, as his thumb stroked over the other, "and you're a genius."

"Thanks." Blaine said with a slight blush, and Kurt turned back to look down at the page.

"But I think this one deserves to have more than just my parents on it," Kurt said with another thoughtful look, "up for me drawing your face one more time?"

"As long as it's just my face." Blaine said cheekily with a wiggle of his eyebrows and Kurt laughed.

"Just your face this time, I promise."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"That looks amazing already." Blaine said as he admired Kurt's drawing, while simultaneously stuffing more chicken alfredo into his mouth, it was only a sketch right now but it looked so realistic it stunned him.

Kurt hummed around his mouthful of pasta, as h continued adding more detail to the faces on the paper, his mother's hair was the hardest thing to shade in, but so far it was coming along well.

His parent's faces were at the top of the page, and his mother's hair crept down the side of the sheet and then melded into Blaine's hair, who's face was underneath hers, Kurt loving the smile he had put on the sketch.

Blaine's smile was mesmerizing, even on paper.

"I think I need to put Rachel's on here too," Kurt said as Blaine watched his hand work over some of the shading and lines on his own face, "I mean she was the only person I knew in this city when I moved. She got me started out here."

"Good idea."

As they ate their pasta on the couch, Blaine flicked on the television after asking Kurt's permission, even though Kurt had already told him multiple times that background noise didn't bother him while he was drawing. He flicked onto a show about puppies at first, before switching to a musical that was showing.

It was already 6:30 in the evening and Blaine had planned to stay for the night. He made them dinner, and had brought ice-cream along with him for after. Kurt had offered to help make dinner, but Blaine had pushed him back to the couch to work on his sketch.

"I love this musical," Blaine exclaimed lounging next to Kurt, with his bowl of pasta in his lap, smiling brightly as the film musical Oliver! played out, "I think that's when I knew I wanted to be a performer...watching this."

"I would have thought you would have been a Singin' in the rain fan." Kurt pointed out and Blaine turned to him with a suspiciously wide grin, and before Kurt could protest, he placed his bowl down on the table, and launched himself up onto his feet.

"I'm singin' in the rain,  
Just singin' in the rain," He sang out, gorgeous tone of his voice encasing the song lyrics perfectly.

"What a glorious feelin',  
I'm happy again!"

"Blaine." Kurt tried to protest but Blaine's voice became louder and he only grinned down at him while he danced around in front of him, causing Kurt to laugh.

"I'm laughing at clouds  
So dark up above  
The sun's in my heart  
And I'm ready for love."

Blaine winked at him after that and Kurt lost the battle, giggling loudly. 

"Let the stormy clouds chase  
Everyone from the place," Blaine sang out with a happy smile on his face as he jumped and twisted around the back of the couch, keeping his eyes on Kurt's the whole time, before reaching out for Kurt's hand and then dragging him up from the couch too.

"Blaine, no- I can't..." He tried to protest but was laughing too much to do anything about it, as Blaine put an arm around his waist and began spinning them both around ballroom style while singing.

"Come on with the rain  
I've a smile on my face!"

They both laughed as Blaine sang that last part out loudly, and Kurt found himself giddy and dizzy by looking at Blaine's widely smiling and happy face. He really couldn't have given any other description of Blaine in that moment, than beautiful, breathtaking and amazing.

Kurt felt so alive with Blaine, he didn't feel any of the numbness of his past creeping in, he had no melancholy. Blaine only brought out his playfulness and happiness, and he wished to be like this forever. 

"I walk down the lane  
With a happy refrain," Blaine sang with an upbeat tone, and then spied Kurt looking at him in silent wonder and awe, and he melted a little, stopping their dancing to whisper out the last of the lyrics.

"Just singin'," He said slowly, looking back into Kurt's expressive crystal blue eyes, swimming with such intensity, "Singin' in the rain..."

As Blaine trailed off his singing, Kurt's smile only got a wider and he leaned against him more prominently. Kurt pressed his forehead to Blaine's, laughing softly as Blaine panted a little, catching back his breath. 

"Oh my god, you are such a dork." Kurt said and Blaine huffed out a laugh before Kurt pressed a little closer and pushed his lips to Blaine's.

Blaine was a little shocked, and froze immediately. He didn't know if he should respond at all, but Kurt pulled back and gave him a smirk and a roll of his eyes.

"You can kiss me back Blaine, it's ok." 

Kurt closed the gap again, and with permission now, Blaine sank into him, pushing insistently into the kiss. He placed his hands on both sides of Kurt's hips, feeling him tense a little before he relaxed again. Kurt ran his own hands up along his biceps and rested his arms over Blaine's shoulders softly. Kurt's lips slightly parted under the pressure Blaine put against them, but not open enough for a tongue, so Blaine only slotted his lips over and in between for a slightly longer kiss.

Blaine kept the kiss slightly chaste, not wanting to push too much and have Kurt pull away. The warm and slightly wet slide of their lips together making Blaine's chest vibrate with need. He felt Kurt's body shiver a little as the kiss went on, and he would have kept it up but in the end the need for breathing became a necessity and they both parted with a gasp of breath.

Kurt laughed a little breathlessly and placed his forehead back against Blaine's, his arms wrapping tighter around his neck, pulling himself closer. Blaine was slightly mesmerized by him, watching him with soft wondrous eyes, while they both grinned like mad men.

"Ok, best kiss ever." Kurt said quietly and Blaine almost laughed himself.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt's sketch was finished, dinner was done, ice-cream had been shared between them. Now the boys found themselves wrapped around each other, laying on the couch, watching Singin' In The Rain. Both of them were content with holding each other, Kurt resting his back against the cushions of the couch, Blaine spread out in front of him. Kurt had one arm underneath his own head on the arm of the couch, to keep himself propped up so that he could see, and the other arm was wrapped around Blaine chest.

His hand was underneath Blaine's body, by his ribs, and his thumb had been soothing small circles around the cotton of his shirt for the last half hour. Blaine's hands themselves were almost in the same place as Kurt's, one underneath his head and a pillow, to keep his head up to watch the musical, and the other hand was placed gently along Kurt's arm around his chest. The fingers of said hand running a tiny path over and over Kurt's wrist.

"Do you think your dad would have liked me?" Blaine asked suddenly and Kurt looked down to him in surprise as Blaine turned his head to look at him.

"Where did that come from?"

"I was thinking about everything you've told me about your family," Blaine said with a little shrug, "and I have been wondering if I would have got along with him?"

"My father was real blue collar, you know," Kurt said to him, a small smile creeping on his lips, "but he wasn't the typical man. He was kind of my hero. And he accepted the fact that I was gay, just like that."

"My father wasn't all that accepting with me." Blaine said sadly, and Kurt sighed as he ran his hand over his chest a little comfort.

"My dad would have liked you Blaine."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Kurt added with a nod, "you're kinda respectful, polite, boy-next-door type..."

"Oh you're stereotyping me now?" Blaine interrupted with a small smirk, which Kurt returned with a little glare.

"Shut up," he said as Blaine huffed out a laugh, "my father would have really liked you."

"Good."

"Were you really worried about having his approval?" Kurt asked as they both settled again on the couch.

"He still is a big part of your life Kurt, I think it's always been engrained in me to meet everyone's approval, especially my boyfriend's parents." Blaine explained with a little shrug again, and Kurt looked a little thoughtful as he watched Blaine's profile as his expression changed.

"Have you ever met anyone else's parents before?" 

"No, never. My boyfriends never really lasted very long." Blaine said and Kurt shifted up into a sitting position again, and Blaine turned to look up at him curiously.

"Will you tell me about them?" Kurt asked as he watched Blaine's expression turn into one of confusion.

"You want to know?"

"Of course," Kurt said with a little smile, placing his hand on Blaine's bicep as he sat up a little too, "but it isn't for a comparison, I'm just interested."

"Ok, well it might take a while."

"We have time."


	16. Chapter 16

Blaine was woken up by movement, he didn't know what it was at first, but as his mind slowly came to consciousness he knew what it was.

He and Kurt had talked about his relationships over the past few years, and before they knew it, it was 4am and they were so tired. They ended up falling asleep on the couch, and somehow over the course of the morning they had returned to their places from before, with Kurt stretched out behind him on the couch and Blaine in front of him.

The movement was Kurt. Blaine's eyes widened slightly as Kurt's hips ground into his from behind. He could feel slight hardness digging into the small of his back, just above the waistband of his jeans. It took him a second to realize that Kurt was humping him in his sleep, and feeling that against him, he started to feel a flush redden his cheeks.

The movement was soft but knowing it was Kurt, Blaine felt his arousal go up a little, making his own morning hardness throb against the zipper of his jeans. He stilled for a moment, but then came to the conclusion that I Kurt woke up like that it would cause embarrassment on both of their parts, so as gently as he could, he removed himself from the couch.

It jolted Kurt though, and he opened his eyes quickly. Blaine could see the confusion bounce around his eyes for a second before realizing where he was.

"We fell asleep..." Kurt started with a groggy voice, and Blaine coughed slightly as he sat on the couch.

"Yes, it was late."

"Mm." Kurt murmured something as he settled back into the couch cushions, and then something must have alerted him to the fact that he was hard in his own jeans, and he looked down a little in surprise before he bolted up and off of the couch, "Oh my god."

Blaine watched him curiously for a second, eyeing the nervous and embarrassed look on Kurt's face change to one of horror.

"Did I- erm..." Kurt trailed off, not knowing what he was going to say and Blaine raised an eyebrow in question as he fumbled with what he was trying to ask, "Did, I mean, erm....I didn't do anything to you did I?"

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, knowing what Kurt was thinking but trying to calm him by not making it known that he had felt it.

"Did I hump you?" Kurt asked quietly, and Blaine must have showed a certain knowing look on his face because Kurt immediately walked around the back of the couch, and then headed to the bathroom.

Blaine sat confused for a second, before sighing and getting up to follow. As he stood outside the bathroom door for a moment, he could hear water running and Kurt fumbling around in the cabinet for something. He heard a clatter and a small thud, followed by a curse word.

"Kurt?" He called a little quietly as he knocked on the door, but he didn't get an answer, "Kurt? Please, it's ok. You don't need to hide from me, don't be embarrassed, it's just one of those things."

The door opened suddenly and Kurt stood with his wild red hair falling over his forehead and glaring at him. He tried a comforting look, that only made Kurt glare at him even more, before sighing.

"Kurt, you don't have to be embarrassed, I promise you."

"I'm not embarrassed." Kurt said almost too quietly for Blaine to catch but he did and he gave him a soft look.

"Well, why are you hiding?"

Kurt only glared in return and Blaine almost sighed again, this was getting him nowhere.

"What's the problem?" Blaine asked feeling a little confused at Kurt's stand-offish attitude now.

"I'm the problem." Kurt said as he walked past Blaine, flinching away as Blaine reached out for him, "I can't just do that...I don't want to give you the wrong impression about...those things. I can't-"

Blaine knew that Kurt was on some downward spiral and he followed after him as he walked into the kitchen, gripping one of his shoulders, but Kurt only flinched away again. Blaine was sort of hurt by the reaction but he made sure not to show it on his face as he smiled sadly at him.

"Kurt, it's fine I-"

"No, it's not fine," Kurt said as he rounded on him, the glare was gone only to be replaced with a strange look of sadness and guilt, "none of that was fine. My sub conscious mind was making me do things that I am far from ready for."

"It was just a natural thing that happens."

"You don't understand," Kurt literally broke down as he sat at the table in the kitchen, placing his head in one hand, "that stuff isn't instinctual for me, it never has been. I don't do that...I haven't ever....I just-"

Blaine stood watching him, thoroughly confused and feeling incredibly sad as he watched him.

"You never what? I don't understand." Blaine asked softly as he sat in a chair next to Kurt, and he heard a ragged sigh from him before he looked up.

It shocked Blaine when Kurt lifted his face to look at his eyes. Those crystal blue eyes of his were ringed with redness, and so astonishingly sad, it made Blaine's own eyes fill up with unshed tears.

"The things that happened to me, plus the medication I have been on for years..." Kurt explained with a croaky voice, sniffing slightly after every third word, "...since I was 14, I've never been able to get an erection."

Blaine's eyebrows shot up at that and Kurt huffed out a humorless laugh.

"Now you probably understand how damaged someone has to be, to not-"

"Oh Kurt," Blaine interrupted with a gentle voice, aching to reach out and hug him, but not knowing if it would be welcome contact, and feeling so helpless, the tears building in his eyes as he watched Kurt's horror filled eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"I think I was more shocked that it happened, especially when I can't control it." Kurt sighed sadly and Blaine nodded.

"Yeah, I understand."

"I think you should go home." Kurt said and instantly Blaine felt a stab in his chest, like his heart breaking, and he turned shocked and saddened eyes to Kurt' face.

"What?"

"I need to be alone for a while." Kurt told him with an emotionless voice and Blaine could feel the frustrated and sad tears in his eyes edging closer to falling down his cheeks.

"Ok." He said as his voice cracked a little with emotion, but Kurt didn't look back at him as he stood slowly.

As Blaine gathered his things up, it took everything he had not to break down and cry at the situation that had occurred. He turned back to the kitchen, spying Kurt sat in the same position, not moving at all apart form breathing into his own hands, and he felt his shoulders slump a little with defeat.

"Call me if you need me?" He said softly, but received no reply as he walked to the door and let himself out. 

Only when he knew that Kurt wouldn't hear, did he let himself sob out loud, and cried all his way home, receiving odd looks from the strangers out and about on the street. He didn't care though, he was hurting, for him and for Kurt. It was incredibly frustrating and hurtful to be pushed away, especially when he knew Kurt needed him, but he would remain the dutiful friend and boyfriend that he wanted to be and give him time and space.

Little did Blaine know, that as soon as he had closed the door on the apartment, the figure of Kurt sat at the table in the kitchen had promptly burst into anguished sobs too.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It took a few days before Kurt texted Blaine. Blaine had been trying to keep himself busy, so that he wouldn't sit and stew over how hurt he was about Kurt kicking him out and pushing him away. The longing he felt only made it was, he really liked Kurt, it was almost bordering on love.

Blaine had always been a fall hard and fast guy, he couldn't help it. He had always been an affectionate person, that he was hoping to bring out in Kurt. He felt after what happened that maybe this had been a step backwards in all they had accomplished together. 

They had only been dating for 2 months, and been boyfriends for less than a week, but Blaine knew from this experience that Kurt was already taking over his heart.

So when he received the text from him he was elated.

'Hey, I'm really sorry about the other day. But thank you Blaine, for giving me time. Hope you're ok. Just wondering if you wanted to meet up for a coffee date or something? I'm free at 3pm if you are? xx'

He smiled for the first time in 3 days as he replied.

'I'm glad you're okay Kurt. Of course I gave you time, you asked for it. Of course I can meet for coffee, the one on the corner by your place? x'

'Yeah that one. See you soon x'

His heart felt a little lighter after that last text and he looked at the clock, noting it was already nearing 2pm now, so with a new found burst of excited energy he packed his work sheets for class away and went to take a shower.

After trying to decide if he should get flowers for Kurt or not, he made it to the coffee place 5 minutes early to grab their coffee orders for them and took a seat, placing the big bouquet of lilies on the table as he waited for Kurt to get there.

When Kurt walked through the door a few minutes later, he waved him over with a huge smile, noticing Kurt carrying his own flowers. He laughed happily as Kurt handed them to him before spying his own and joining Blaine in the laughter.

"Looks like we both had the same idea." He said as he sat and took up the bouquet from the table to bury his nose into the lilies, inhaling deeply, "thank you Blaine."

"Thank you Kurt," Blaine said as he pulled his face out of his own flowers, which were a mixture of yellow and red roses, and smiled at him brightly, "they're beautiful."

"I feel like I should apologize to you, Blaine," Kurt began with a guilty look on his face, that Blaine tried to wave off but he just looked back at him sadly, "I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have made you leave, you didn't do anything wrong."

"It's ok."

"No, it's not. I'm sorry I pushed you away." He said as he reached across the table for Blaine's hand, wrapping them in his own, "You've been nothing but supportive and attentive, and trying to make me feel better and I just completely ignored you."

"Kurt, you needed time. It must have been a shock to you. It's alright." Blaine said as he rubbed a thumb over Kurt's knuckles softly, giving him a warm smile, "did you want to talk about it?"

Kurt nodded a little slowly, looking down at their hands clasped together before heaving a little sigh.

"I guess it just got to me," Kurt started with a nervous frown, "I try not to let things get to me anymore...but that...after going for so long thinking I was just broken, it was a surprise to find that I wasn't. I was still under the impression that anything of a sexual nature would never come up in my life ever again...and I was fine with that, but...you happened."

Kurt turned soft and warm eyes up to Blaine's face, who gave him a big grin, which he returned.

"I have thought about just letting myself go completely and be with you...in the moment...whenever that may be, but- I still get the little doubts about that kind of stuff. It wasn't my choice when I was 13, I had no control. Now that my body is reacting without my control too, it scared me."

"I get it Kurt," Blaine said softly, still holding his hand as Kurt laid out all of his feelings, "and we don't need to put it in a bracket that was some big thing...and the way your body reacted naturally doesn't mean it's ready for that kind of stuff."

"I know, it's just a scary thing to think about." 

Yeah," Blaine rubbed his knuckles again a little harder, as Kurt gave him a small sad smile, "we don't have to keep the pace we were going. We could just go back to hand holding, maybe hugs every now and then?"

"No, I like cuddling and kissing you Blaine, you never have to worry about that." Kurt gave him a pointed look, that was full of trust and affection that Blaine almost melted into a puddle.

"Ok."

After they were silent for a while, both just holding the other's hand and sipping their coffees, Blaine broke the peaceful calmness around them and gave him a big grin.

"Wanna go on a date on Friday?" He asked excitedly and Kurt smiled back.

"I'd love to."


	17. Chapter 17

The relationship went back to normal after their date on Friday, Blaine didn't stay that weekend, there was tons of school work he needed to finish, plus work. Kurt didn't mind, because he had work himself, and he was planning on finishing the project of what inspired him. 

He was just finishing off Rachel's hair on Sunday afternoon, as Rachel looked over him with a proud look on her face. They had exchanged small smiles between them when she had told him he had her look down to perfection, before she went back to the kitchen to start making a vegan lasagne for their dinner.

As he was just colouring in the shady parts, he received a phone call. Automatically thinking it was Blaine, he smiled and reached for it without looking at caller I.D.

"Hello?"

"H-hey, erm...is this Kurt Hummel?" The shaky deep voice on the other end asked and Kurt immediately pulled the phone away from his ear and frowned down at the screen which showed him a number the phone didn't recognize.

"Yes..." he replied slowly, "this is Kurt. Who is this?"

"Hi, erm...you don't know me, but my name is Finn Hudson."

"And what can I do for you Finn Hudson?" Kurt asked a little quietly as he placed his pencil down across the paper in front of him, glancing behind him to see Rachel still making dinner.

"N-nothing really, I just wanted to talk to you," Finn said on the end, sounding a little relieved.

"And how did you get my number? I don't think I know you?"

"No, you don't know me, not really," "but you knew my uncle...Marcus Laferty?"

Kurt's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened, his stomach clenched tightly as he dropped the phone immediately and ran to the bathroom, knocking over the corner table and making Rachel jump. She watched him with a worried expression as he ran through the hallway, slamming the bathroom door behind him.

She eyed the phone on the floor by the couch and bent down to pick it up. 

"Hello, who is this?" She asked into the phone with slight trepidation.

"This is Finn Hudson, I was talking to Kurt, is he there?" The voice o the other end asked a little sadly.

"Erm...he's in the bathroom right now," Rachel said as she heard retching and crying and yelling from Kurt, and she became worried, "I've got to go and check on him, I'll get him to call you back."

"Tell him I didn't mean to startle him, and that I'm really sorry." The voice said quickly and emotionally before she could hang up, and she paused at that.

"Ok, I'll tell him."

"Thank you." He answered quietly before he hung up and Rachel immediately put the phone down and ran to check on Kurt.

"Kurt?! What happened? Are you okay?" She asked through the bathroom door, but the only answer was awful sounding retching and crying from within and she panicked slightly, "Kurt, please...I'm worried, do you need me to call Blaine?!"

There was no answer so she made up her mind and ran back to Kurt's phone, quickly dialling Blaine's number and waiting while she bit her lip worriedly.

"Hey, baby, I thought you were busy tod-"

"Blaine it's Rachel." She said quickly, cutting off his drawl, and he immediately sucked in a sharp breath.

"What happened?" He asked desperately, and she sighed.

"I don't know, he's in the bathroom again, and I don't know what happened." She stammered out and Blaine quickly soothed her from the phone.

"Ssh, ssh it's ok Rach, I'm on my way, I'll be there in 10 minutes." He said quickly and Rachel could hear cluttering down the line, before he hung up.

She didn't know what to do, or what had happened. She just hoped Blaine could fix it.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt was shaking. He was retching, he was crying, he felt like screaming.

Marcus' name brought back so many awful memories. It had been years, since he had said or heard his name, because he couldn't bring himself to.

It was a shock. It made his stomach turn, it made him sick, it made his eyes sting and his throat hurt.

He couldn't stop the memories and the tears, couldn't answer Rachel when she was asking him if he was ok.

He wasn't ok. He would never feel ok. Not with that man's name and face in his mind.

He shut his eyes tightly as he was assaulted with images and parts of his childhood that he didn't ever want to relive.

They swam through his head.

*"No...I don't want to!"*

He squeezed his hands tightly as they balled into fists, nails digging into his palms and probably leaving indents and blood in them.

He couldn't stop it.

*"Uncle Marcus...please don't-"*

He shook again as he relived the phantom pain of his memory.

*"Stop it....it hurts!....please"*

He pushed his balled up fists against his eyes, pushing harder and harder as the images moved faster and faster through his head.

*"Aaah! No! Don't!"*

"Please....stop it," he said quietly to himself, his voice cracking, "....no....don't-"

*"....daddy..."*

There was a knock that broke through Kurt's head, he had to hold himself back from screaming, as the knocking got louder.

"Kurt! Sweetheart! Open the door!" 

Blaine's voice broke the images a little, and they paused as he listened. Shaking his head as he sat on the floor of the bathroom, shaking and sweating, causing him to shiver as his body became cold.

"Kurt, its me baby! Open the door!"

His boyfriend was frantic but he couldn't stand, just sat there and shook as he cried.

There was a thud, and the bathroom door shook, like someone was trying to break it. Kurt couldn't help the shot of fear that rushed through him, his mind was a mess. He couldn't think straight.

Marcus, maybe it's Marcus. He's come to get me again. No. Please.

He covered his head with his shaky arms, shivering in his fear as it took over his whole body.

The door swung open and hit the wall with a loud thump, and Kurt jumped but kept his head buried in his arms, not daring to look up.

*"....no....it hurts....."*

"Kurt?" Came a quiet voice near him and Kurt refused to look up, "baby?"

"What's the matter with him?" Came another voice, a higher one that sounded stressed.

"Rachel, get a blanket please?" The low gentle voice asked and then there were footsteps quickly fading before they came back a second later.

Kurt felt something warm draped over his shoulders, it was a little comforting but his mind was stuck now. He couldn't leave the painful place he has gone to.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine hadn't known what to expect when he got to Rachel and Kurt's apartment, but a shivering, crying, vacant eyed Kurt was not it. 

He hurt his shoulder breaking through the door to the bathroom, but he wasn't concerned about that, not when he saw the state that Kurt was in. 

It was like a scene from a horror film. There was mess all over the bathroom floor, including vomit. Kurt was shaking violently with his head buried underneath his arms, and his hand were bleeding. There were blood smears on the floor and on Kurt's arms, probably from self inflicted injuries. 

Blaine had sunk down on his knees, ignoring the vomit soaking through his jeans and hovered over Kurt, trying desperately to make him look up. When he didn't, he told Rachel to grab a blanket and draped it around his boyfriend's shaking shoulders.

Kurt flinched violently as he gripped his arms to pull him up into a standing position, but he didn't pull away, instead he kept his face buried in his hands and let Blaine guide him to his bedroom.

As he sat Kurt down onto the bed, his hand ran across the skin on Kurt's forearm, and he was shocked that he was so cold. Almost like his arms had been inside a freezer.

He pulled the blanket tighter around his form and sat next to him, saying words and phrases in comfort that he can't even remember until Kurt stopped shivering.

After another 20 minutes of quiet sobs and heart breaking cries from Kurt, he curled up onto the bed and fell asleep. Blaine ran his hand threw his hair, which was still damp from his shower, and sighed. He had no idea what had happened, and Rachel was busy making tea to calm both of their nerves.

She reappeared after about 5 more minutes and knocked gently on the door as she poked her head inside.

"Hey, has he calmed down now?" She asked with her eyes sad and nervous smile in place, as she carried a tray in with three mugs on it.

"He's asleep." He replied with a tight smile of his own, that looked more like a grimace, and she handed him a mug of tea before taking a seat in the chair at the end of the bed with her own.

"That was so scary Blaine, and I didn't know what to do." She told him and he turned to regard her with a soft look.

"It's ok, you did what you thought was best," he said and she shrugged sadly while looking down at her hands, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I-I don't really know, he was sitting working on his art and I was making dinner, and he got a phone call, and I-i thought it was you...but when he ran to the bathroom, and knocked over the side table, I picked up his phone and there was a man on the other end."

"A man?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, he said his name was Finn, and he wanted to talk to Kurt." She explained and Blaine looked away as he tried to figure out what it might have been about.

"Did he say what it was about?" He asked while not looking at her, and she shrugged again.

"No...but he sounded really sorry that he messed Kurt up, like he was sad that he shocked him or something."

"Oh...I guess we'll find out when Kurt wakes up?" Blaine added with a shrug of his own, his eyes wandering back to gaze at his unconscious boyfriend sadly.

"Blaine," Rachel started a little nervously and moved to sit on the bed next to Blaine, looking over Kurt with a regretful gaze, sighing sadly before she turned back to Blaine, "I know that something terrible must have happened to Kurt to make him this way, I've seen the medication bottles in our bathroom cabinet, but I never asked. I know he doesn't sleep, and when he first moved in, he barely ate. He used to have nightmares a lot...do you know what happened to make him this way?"

"Yes, he told me." Blaine said with sad eyes and Rachel frowned down at Kurt again.

"Can you tell me?" She asked quietly and Blaine shook his head slowly.

"It's not my story to tell Rachel." Blaine told her, taking one of her hands, running his thumb over her knuckles, that comforted them both a little, "Maybe you should ask Kurt when he wakes up?"

"Yeah, ok."


	18. Chapter 18

Blaine and Rachel were still talking quietly amongst themselves when Kurt woke up. He sat up and looked around with red puffy eyes, and Blaine's heart almost broke at the sight of the fear in them. He waited patiently until Kurt had calmed himself down, Rachel went to make Kurt a tea, giving them time to talk.

Kurt looked around at his room for a second before realizing that Blaine was sitting on the end of the bed, and offered him a small smile, that didn't reach his eyes.

Blaine scooted a little closer, so that he was sitting next to him, and placed a hand on the covers of the bed, not knowing whether touch would be welcome right now, after what he had been through.

"Hey." He said quietly and Kurt nodded.

"Hey," came the sad sounding reply, and Blaine wanted to drag him into his arms, but held back, "what are you doing here?"

"Rachel called me...do you remember what happened?"

"Not really." Kurt shrugged and then sat up a little straighter, staring down at the blanket that fell around his waist, "I know that I was on the phone..."

"Somebody called Finn Hudson?"

Kurt went pale as he remembered what the guy on the phone spoke to him about, and Blaine reached over to grab the waste basket as he thought Kurt looked like he was going to be sick. He held it out to him and Kurt shook his head as he tried to breathe through it.

"Kurt, what did he say to you?"

"Erm...he said he-" Kurt paused, he couldn't say his name, he couldn't.

"He?" Blaine asked patiently and a little curiously, his brow set in a frown as he watched Kurt pale again.

"I c-can't say his name." He told Blaine quietly and then Blaine's face lit up in understanding.

"So Finn was talking about...that?" He asked tentatively, not wanting to give Kurt reason to run back to the bathroom and shut himself away.

"Yes...he said Finn said it was his uncle..." Kurt replied in a whisper and Blaine's hand crept closer trying to comfort him, "I don't know what he wanted, but as soon as he said his name..."

"It brought things back?"

"Yeah."

Blaine nodded in understanding, but his heart was breaking at the fear and discomfort in Kurt's face, especially his eyes. Rachel came back in slowly, brandishing Kurt's favourite mug with tea in, and she gave him a small smile as she brought it over.

"Hey, Kurt...do you feel better?" She asked as he reached out and took the mug from her, offering a small smile in return.

"A little, I think," he said as she took a seat on the bed with Blaine, "I'm sorry if I worried you."

"Kurt, I spoke to the man on the phone, when you ran to the bathroom," she said cautiously, as she looked between Blaine and Kurt, "and he seemed to be sorry that he caused you grief. But I was so confused about what happened, and I am so sorry I couldn't do anything to help you."

She started tearing up as her voice broke and Kurt frowned as he looked at her with a guilty expression.

"Oh Rachel, it's ok, I just-"

"You don't have to tell me anything, but-" She started as she literally flung herself over Blaine's lap to grasp at one of Kurt's hands, her eyes boring into his, "if you feel like you have to hide things from me, I get that. I wouldn't ask you about your life...but I know that it was something awful."

Blaine looked at Kurt, exchanging an uncomfortable glance and then they both watched her.

"You're my friend Kurt, and I just want to you to know, that I'm here if and when you ever need me. Ok?" 

Kurt nodded at her. She squeezed his fingers tightly as she almost broke down into sobs, her breaths coming out haggard and shaky, and Kurt eyed Blaine's face before he sighed and turned to look her in the eye.

"You're right, you are my friend," he started with a smile, that soon turned to a frown as he said his next sentence, "when I was 12, a man that was close to our family...raped me..."

She gasped and choked and the tears streamed down her face.

"Oh my god!" she buried her face within her own hands, and cried on Blaine's lap, who placed an arm around her to soothe her, but it wasn't any use.

"...It's one of the hardest things to overcome, and I'm still not there." Kurt continued, and she looked up through her tears.

"All those medication bottles...the no touching thing...and the nightmares?"

"All results of what happened." Kurt said with a nod, which she copied as she frowned at him.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt."

"Thank you."

"Is he in jail?" She asked quietly, sniffling and trying to calm herself down as Kurt and Blaine were both trying to keep their own composure.

"Yes," he replied equally as quietly, "...the phone call, Finn, he's his nephew and I don't know what he wanted to talk about, but I couldn't."

"Yeah, I understand now." Rachel said as she wiped at her face, Blaine offered her a tissue from his own pocket.

"My therapist would probably be proud of me telling another person about my past." Kurt said without any humour, and Blaine reached out a hand to cover over where Rachel's and Kurt's were joined again.

"I'm proud of you." Blaine told him, meeting his eyes and smiling, which caused Kurt to smile back.

After the extremely emotional discussion, Kurt became increasingly uncomfortable with Rachel's blubbering, which she could see on his face so she slowly extracted herself from them both and stood.

"I'm going to finish dinner," she said quietly and they both nodded, "Blaine, are you staying?"

"Of course." He said without looking at her and she smiled at the two of them as she left the room, "do you want me to stay?"

"I do." Kurt said as Blaine still held his hand tightly, "I don't think I should be alone."

"Ok."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Once dinner was over, Rachel decided to spend the rest of her night in her room, but not before asking permission and giving Kurt the biggest and tightest hug that she could.

Blaine watched her go with a sad look, before turning back to where Kurt settled down into the couch. 

"I never meant to upset her so much." Kurt said quietly into the now semi-silent apartment and Blaine nodded as he settled next to him.

"Give her time, she's coming to terms with everything." He said as he picked up Kurt's hand and threaded their fingers together before settling their joined hands on top of his thigh.

Kurt nodded as he looked down at their hands. he smiled a little to himself as they sat quietly together. Blaine's thumb was drawing slow circles along his palm, and Kurt ignored the sting as it moved over some of the tiny cuts from clenching his fists earlier.

"I'm sorry I worried you again." Kurt said quietly and Blaine looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, but stayed silent, "I know it's not easy for you to see me like that...it's not easy for me either, but I just...I guess I hope it doesn't make you turn away and run in the opposite direction one day."

"Of course not," Blaine answered when Kurt was silent again, "I would never turn my back on you, not when I love you so much."

Kurt jumped and looked at Blaine with wide eyes. Thinking he didn't hear right, but he must have. Blaine was staring at him with eyes like warm honey, and in the low light of the lamp they almost glowed with light. They were warm and Blaine's face, although still held some pain from the events of earlier, was open and vulnerable and he stared at Kurt with so much love.

"Oh my god." Kurt sighed out and saw Blaine's face fall instantly, a little bit of a shield creeping into his gaze, but Kurt quickly brought their joint hands up to place kisses along the skin on Blaine's hand, "I've never ever, met anybody quite like you. And I just can't believe that you love me, even with all my...faults."

"Kurt, I fell in love with you as soon as I heard your opinion on colours." Blaine said with a small laugh, which made Kurt feel better, "I didn't tell you to pressure you into saying it back. I just hope that someday you might feel the same."

"I feel the same Blaine." Kurt said quickly, reaching out with his other hand to trace Blaine's jaw line with his fingertips, "I think I fell for you the first day you asked me if I was ok."

"Really?" Blaine's eyes went bright and Kurt almost laughed at the childish excitement in them, but he only smiled widely at his boyfriend.

"Mhm...I love you." 

"I love you Kurt." Blaine answered with his own wide smile, a smile that almost blinded you with how bright it was, and Kurt giggled as he leaned his forehead against Blaine cheek.

"Are we sappy? Is this what sappy is?" Kurt asked with wonder in his voice, and felt Blaine's chest bounce with a silent laugh.

"Must be." He said as he reached up with his other hand to run his finger through the red tresses on Kurt's head, "but I know I wouldn't be sappy with anyone else."

"Me neither."

With a happy sigh, Kurt snuggled against Blaine a little more, feeling Blaine place small kisses against his hair. He tucked his face underneath Blaine's chin, breathing in the scent that was so comforting to him right now. Blaine always smelled wonderful.

They sat there together, just silent and enjoying the other's company, until the weight of emotion from earlier caught up to Blaine and he drifted to sleep, still with his hand in Kurt's and the other in his hair.

Kurt couldn't imagine that life could get any better, sure he still had his demons, but with Blaine so close to him, and now Rachel, he knew he would eventually be ok. He would be ok.


	19. Chapter 19

2 months later...

Blaine moaned as his tongue sunk back into Kurt's mouth, receiving a groan from his boyfriend in return. One of Blaine's hands were fisted gently in the now newly turned brown tresses of Kurt's hair, while the other was currently running along his boyfriend's neck slowly. Kurt's hands were on his shoulders, rubbing the muscles gently as he relaxed into the kiss. They were laying side by side on Blaine's couch, in Blaine's apartment, the atmosphere around them becoming more heated the longer they kissed.

Over the last two months Kurt had gotten a lot more at ease with the way Blaine touched him, and sometimes it seemed like he couldn't get enough. They had become even closer now that most of Kurt's barriers had dissolved when it came to his boyfriend, and Blaine couldn't be happier.

Kurt wriggled into a better position as Blaine placed an elbow underneath his chest and leaned over him more. The only noises in Blaine's apartment right now were the wet sounds of tongues and lips sliding against the others, and the moans and hums from their mouths.

Blaine sucked Kurt's tongue back into his mouth as the kiss became more heated, sliding his chest on top of Kurt's when he felt arms tugging at him. Kurt's arms wrapped around Blaine's neck, pulling him closer for a second, and Blaine's hand trailed down Kurt's chest to his stomach, fiddling with the hem of his shirt before Kurt broke the kiss as he gasped in a much needed breath.

Blaine moved from his mouth and nuzzled his way underneath Kurt's chin to suck and kiss at his throat, causing Kurt to make a high pitched whining noise, which Blaine loved hearing every time.

"Hang on, hang on, time out honey." Kurt said breathlessly as his hands came back from Blaine's neck to push gently at his chest.

"Mm..." Blaine started in reply against the skin of Kurt's neck, still licking over every curve and junction, before pulling back slightly and looking up at Kurt's face with clouded eyes, "What?"

"Time out," Kurt said again with a chuckle at how ravished Blaine looked, the dark hungry eyes and the red kiss bitten lips, while he looked down at Blaine's confused face, "wow, you're brain really does shut off when we're kissing."

Blaine pulled back, licking his lips gently and Kurt sat up.

"Well what can I say," Blaine said with a cheeky smile and a shrug, while gently trying to pry Kurt back down with him on the couch, "you're the one who melts my brain cells."

Kurt laughed and resisted Blaine's hands, sitting up further.

"And before we get carried away, I'm putting the brakes on." He said as he got up off of the couch, causing Blaine to groan and flop back down to the cushions.

"Really?" Blaine mumbled into the cushions while Kurt laughed at him.

"Yes really, besides...we have stuff to do."

"I don't want to do school work right now." Blaine groaned with a pout and Kurt placed his hands on his hips as he looked down at him.

"Stop pouting it won't work."

"Kurt, you're killing me here." He said again with another groan as Kurt moved around the back of the couch, Blaine's eyes following his slim hips in those black skinny jeans that he loved so much, with Kurt looking down at him with a smirk.

"You'll be ok," he said as he came to stand behind the back of the couch, with his hands on the top, "plus, we still need to find a song for your Spring Critique performance."

Blaine shot up from the couch, and leaned against the back of it, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist tightly, burying his face into Kurt's shirt covered stomach, while his hands moved from the small of Kurt's back down to cup his ass. 

It was testament to how much Kurt trusted Blaine not to push things, that he let him touch him there.

"Can't we make out now, and do that tomorrow?" He mumbled against the shirt, before rubbing his nose into it, causing Kurt to chuckle down at him.

"No," he said a little haughtily, and Blaine moved his face down until he was lifting the shirt up a little and kissing a line across the smooth skin of Kurt's abdomen, until Kurt pushed him away with a laugh, "Oh my god, you are insatiable."

"For you in those tight jeans." Blaine said from the couch with a grin, and a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Come on, up up up," Kurt said to him as he backed up from the couch, and moved over to Blaine's desk in the corner of the living room, "let me get the music sheets."

"No fair Hummel." He grumbled as he watched him go.

"Who ever said I played fair, Anderson?" Kurt said over his shoulder with another smirk, and Blaine sat down on the couch with a playful huff and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You're a demon, and I don't love you anymore." He said as he turned his nose up in the air, as Kurt made his way back over with the sheets.

Kurt placed the sheets down on the small coffee table, before grabbing and tilting Blaine's face up to his.

"Oh please, you can't get enough of me. Don't lie." He said as he lifted an eyebrow, a beautiful smile playing on his lips and Blaine melted again.

"Fine, I love you, but I don't have to like you right now."

"Poor baby." Kurt said with a playful pout, before sitting down next to him and concentrating his attention on the sheets, moving Blaine's hand every time it landed on his thigh.

Blaine eventually got the hint and with a sigh, they both got to work on picking out a song fro Blaine's upcoming performance next week. The Spring Critique was a big thing at Nyada, almost as big as the Winter Critique, and it went towards Blaine's final grade this year, so he had to have the perfect song that showcased his talent.

He was planning on doing his own piano arrangement, but they had to find the perfect song for showing him off to the staff and the school. Kurt had made Blaine accompany him to the local music store, to grab some music sheets of all the songs he thought Blaine's voice would be perfect for.

They had about 20, and Blaine had told him that very few of those could be played on piano, but they were both willing to try anything to get him a good grade.

As they were working on the last of the sheets, Kurt's phone rang from the kitchen. He sighed as he stood, leaving Blaine to sift through the last 3 sheets on his own. He needed to stretch out his limbs anyway, they had been sat on the couch now for over an hour.

It was Rachel, and Kurt huffed before answering.

"Rachel, you know we're working on Blaine's critique right now."

"Sorry, I know it's just," Rachel started a little nervously and Kurt raised an eyebrow at her tone, "somebody is here to see you."

"Who is it?" Kurt asked a little nervously too.

"Erm...it's Finn." Rachel said hesitantly and Kurt's eyes widened.

"What?" he said a little loudly, and Blaine looked over from the couch, concern written on his face, "Tell him I don't want to see him."

"Kurt what's going on?" Blaine asked from the couch, and Kurt turned to him with a roll of his eyes.

"Finn turned up at the apartment, wanting to talk." He said a little irritably and Blaine's eyebrows rose in shock.

"What?" He said equally as loudly and shocked as Kurt had, and Kurt nodded his agreement.

"He came all the way here from Columbus Kurt, and he seems like a nice guy." Rachel said and Kurt huffed in annoyance at the way she seemed to be defending this guy.

"How long has he been there?" He asked and Rachel hesitated a little before answering, which caused a suspicious frown to appear on Kurt's face, just as Blaine joined him in the little kitchen area.

"A-about an hour."

"And you're just telling me now?!" He yelled a little into the phone, which seemed to shock Blaine a little as he frowned, "You have a complete stranger in our apartment, what if I was staying at Blaine's tonight?"

Blaine's face lit up then in a cheeky grin, and almost made Kurt laugh with a small wiggle of his eyebrows, but he glared lightly at him and shook his head.

"Kurt, you never stay over." Rachel said incredulously down the phone, and Kurt made an indignant noise.

"I might," he said haughtily, becoming angry again with her, "besides, our apartment is my safe space, tell him to leave."

"But Kurt I-" Rachel stammered out and Kurt lost his patience.

"Now!" He yelled and Blaine instantly placed his hands on Kurt's hips, pushing up against him from behind, comforting him silently with body heat, as he was shaking a little with anger.

"...ok, ok." Rachel said quietly as she hung up the phone, and Kurt sighed as he placed the phone down on the table.

Blaine moved his hands up to Kurt's chest, wrapping his arms around him tightly as he stood behind him, trying to calm his boyfriend. He placed a gentle kiss on the back of Kurt's neck and then rested his chin on his shoulder.

"So Finn just showed up, out of blue, just like that?" Blaine asked quietly, "did he think that would go over well?"

"No idea," Kurt replied bringing one hand up and placing it over Blaine's hand on his chest, leaning back against him, "but I do not want to see him."

"Do you wanna stay?" Blaine asked semi-seriously, with a little grin, "I'm sure you're tired already, why don't we go lay down?"

Kurt laughed as he pushed Blaine's hands off of his chest and turned around to give him a disbelieving look.

"You don't give in do you?"

"When it comes to you? Never." Blaine growled out and they both laughed before Kurt tugged him in for a hug, incredibly grateful that Blaine's silly moods could make him feel better.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Despite his boyfriend's attempts to try and coerce him into staying the night, Blaine reluctantly let Kurt leave. As Kurt made his way home he was nervous. What if Finn was waiting for him outside? What if he was waiting to yell at him about accusing his uncle of things?

Kurt sighed as he reached his building, but nobody called out his name, or stopped him so he relaxed a little more as he made his way up to the apartment.

Rachel said that Finn seemed like a nice guy, maybe it was all a rouse to make Kurt believe it too, so that he could kick him while he was already down.

Kurt didn't believe for one second that this Finn guy wanted to talk, so as he reached his apartment door and could hear Rachel laughing and a mal voice inside, his anger and protective shields went straight back up.

He was cautious as he entered, hearing two sets of laughter from the living room. And he made sure he had a glare on his face as he walked inside. The anger bubbled underneath his skin, at this guy that just showed up, and at Rachel for completely ignoring his feelings...as usual.

As he rounded the short wall by the living room he was met with a scene he couldn't believe. Rachel was sitting with a guy on the couch, obviously Finn, because Kurt recognized his voice from that phone call a couple of months back. She was enraptured with some kind of story he was telling her, this guy was smirking lopsidedly as he spoke and Kurt automatically hated it.

"So when I said 'tell him to leave'," he said in a loud and irritated tone, causing both of the occupants of the couch to look over to him in surprise, "was I speaking in Arabic, or some foreign language that made you misinterpret it as, 'Please tell him he's more than welcome to stay'?"

Rachel looked rightfully chastised at his tone, and Finn looked a little uncomfortable as he sat and looked at Kurt.

"I-it's not Rachel's fault, I-" Finn started and Kurt interrupted with a glare.

"To what do I owe the displeasure Finn Hudson?" he said and Finn shifted under his heated glare, "If my roommate had done what I told her, I wouldn't be staring at your face right now."

"I really need to talk to you, Kurt." He answered and Kurt saw red.

"Well I don't!" He yelled, "so if you would kindly leave my apartment before I call the cops."

"Kurt-" Rachel started with a gasp and he held up his hand at her, and she clamped her mouth shut.

"I just want to talk, Kurt, please," Finn pleaded with him as he stood, "I promise it's nothing bad, I just-"

"Want to explain why you're here?" Kurt interrupted viciously, his tone leaving no room for any arguments, he had had enough with pandering to people, "why on earth you would come to my apartment? Don't you think I've been through enough?"

"I'm sorry, I-" Finn said with a small sigh, running his hand over his hair nervously, "I'm sorry, I just want to talk. Please?"

Kurt looked between Finn and Rachel, both staring back at him with nervous but pleading looks. He didn't know why his heart suddenly gave a lurch but it made him deflate a little.

"Fine," he said quietly, "alright spill, what are you doing here?"

"Look dude-"

"Don't call me dude."

"Kurt," Finn amended quickly, hands raised in silent surrender, "my mom and I, we only just found out what happened between you and-"

"Don't say his name!" Kurt snapped quickly and Finn nodded.

"We only just found out, about 8 months ago," Finn said with a hint of sadness and regret in his voice, "but you have to know, we believe you."

Kurt frowned in confusion.

"When we found out what he went to jail for," Finn explained, "my mom and I, we believe you. And I am so sorry, Kurt."


	20. Chapter 20

"Rachel can I speak to you in private, please?" Kurt asked as he glared over Finn's shoulder at Rachel, and she blushed a little as she stood and nodded, following him into the kitchen as Finn went to sit back on the couch.

"Kurt..." She trailed off, unsure what to say and he turned to her with a murderous glare.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He whispered harshly, through gritted teeth, "do you have any idea what this is doing to me right now?"

"But I-"

"When I tell you to get rid of someone, I mean it," he continued, not giving her a chance to wriggle her way out of being chastised, "I'm not doing it to be rude, or hard to deal with...I am protecting myself."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"No, you listen right now," Kurt said and she looked close to tears at his harsh tone, "you've seen how I react to things from my past...I told you about what happened to me, and you go and bring in this person...you had no idea if he was going to beat me up for making his uncle go to jail, or tell me that I was sick or anything, you just invited him in here."

She looked at him aghast, unable to say anything.

"This is the only place I feel safe, the only place that I can get away from anything, be at peace here, forget everything here." He said as his voice cracked a little, "I thought you understood...but now he is here, and its bringing up my past yet again...and you thought it would be a good idea to disregard my feelings, for your own selfish reasons?"

She opened her mouth, but he was on a rant and spoke over her.

"What if this gives me nightmares after talking with Finn? What if I freak out? What if I hurt myself? Or him? or you?" Kurt carried on, his eyes filling with tears as he watched her face crumple, obviously she didn't think about any of that, "you may feel like you're helping, but you're not. My friends are supposed to support me, not carry on as if my feelings mean shit."

"Oh Kurt, I didn't think, I'm sorry." She said as she reached out to hug him, but his hand on her chest stopped her and she gasped.

"No, I don't need or want a hug right now," Kurt snapped at her, "I just can't believe after everything that I have explained and talked to you about, you go and pull this?"

She placed a hand over her mouth as a sob broke free, but he was too hurt to care about her feelings right now, he could feel the tendrils of his own unravelling right now.

"I'll speak to Finn, but I'm not sure I want to speak to you for the rest of the night."

He left the kitchen while Rachel was trying to control her crying, and sighed as he made his way to the living room, hardening himself for the conversation about to come.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt was sitting on the couch, coffee mug in hand, Finn sitting on the other side with a mug of his own. They had been sitting in a little uncomfortable silence while Kurt tried to work out how to react to the information Finn had given him.

His tormentor, the guy who had ultimately destroyed his childhood, was dead.

He died in jail.

8 months ago.

He was racking his mind for some kind of reaction but he had none. The information didn't matter to him. He had no emotion to show for it. Nothing.

Rachel had been staring at him guiltily from across the room, before sighing loudly when he didn't look at her and told them she was going to bed. Leaving him alone to talk with Finn.

"Why now?" Kurt asked quietly after another few silent minutes had gone past, and Finn turned to him.

"I don't know...just thought it might do you some good to know he's gone, completely."

"You and your mom, you believed me. Without question?"

"Yeah," Finn replied, "we did."

"I don't understand. Why?" Kurt turned to Finn with a confused look, and Finn gave him a small sad smile.

"I don't know, but you were only 12, and 12 year old kids have no reason to lie about that stuff." Finn offered with a small shrug, "my mom was a little distraught for a while, thinking about how you must have felt, how hurt you must have been. So we tried to find you...just to see if you were alright."

"Thank you, I guess." Kurt gave him a small smile in return, as his phone chimed in his pocket.

He sent Finn an apologetic look while he looked at his phone, but Finn waved him off with his own smile.

It was a text from Blaine.

'I miss you. You should have stayed :('

The text caused him to smile, forgetting that he wasn't alone for a moment.

"That your boyfriend?" Finn asked curiously, "Rachel said you had one."

"Blaine," Kurt replied with a nod, writing out a return text, "he's been amazing with all of this."

'I miss you too, but groping sleepy hands don't appeal to me :P'

"It's good, you know, that you're moving forward." Finn said and Kurt sent him another small smile.

"Yeah, it is."

His phone chimed again.

'My groping hands wouldn't have been a problem, I can control myself you know'

Followed closely by another.

'Ok, that was a lie. But you can't blame me, you can't see your ass :P But I still miss you :('

"Is he a good guy?" Finn asked curiously and Kurt nodded again as he responded.

"Yes he is, he's amazing."

"You love him?"

"I do."

'Blaine Anderson you complete cad you :P I miss you more'

"Well, I better get out of your hair," Finn said as he stood, "got a hotel room waiting for me."

"Thanks for, you know, talking to me. It was nice to know I have people around who care." Kurt said to him and Finn patted his shoulder as they both moved towards the door.

"No worries man, I can tell mom that you're ok now," Finn said as Kurt held the door open for him, "she was worried you know."

"Thank her for me, yeah?"

"I will, see ya Kurt."

"Bye Finn."

As the door closed behind him Kurt leaned back against it and sighed loudly. His phone chimed in his hand again and he looked down to see a picture message, he opened it and laughed. It was a picture of Blaine's face, he was pouting and looked really sad, with the message underneath reading, 'I love you'

He smiled as he walked to his bedroom.

'I love you too, Mr. Sappy pants :)'

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It turned out to be a good thing, keeping in touch with Finn. Somehow it was helping Kurt with his demons, especially the news of Marcus' death. He wasn't around anymore, so it kind of made Kurt feel a little bit safer.

Even as an adult he was always worried about being contacted at some point by him, and now that would never happen, he could move on finally.

He grinned to himself as his paintbrush brushed the paint over the canvas in front of him. He was working on a whole new range of art pieces, because his teachers at his college surprised him with showcasing his work in a big gallery that they only threw once a year.

Kurt would have his own section within it though, which was a big deal. 

So Kurt was working on more and more pieces to put in the showcase with the rest. He had been holed up in his bedroom for 2 days, texting Blaine that he had stuff to do so that he wouldn't come round and ruin the surprise.

Mrs Heln had told him to invite as many people as he wanted, so Kurt was now making it a surprise for the people he wanted there. She asked him if it would be ok to show the nude model life drawing, but he refused it because the model was his boyfriend and he didn't want it to be public.

She understood.

But he was working on putting Blaine into the showcase. One of his canvas' had a very unique colour to it, but it was Blaine's skin tone. And now he was working on Blaine's eyes, they were the focus on another canvas. Blaine was actually a good model to work from, he was so beautiful, and there were so many great colours to him. Plus the muscle definition in his form was amazing.

Kurt bit his lip as he thought about Blaine. He was fascinated that someone like Blaine could love him so completely, when everyone else around Kurt thought he was weird or unapproachable, Blaine thought he was intriguing and mysterious.

He would be forever grateful that Blaine was the first person Kurt told willingly about his past, and his boyfriend had also taken all the drama in stride. He was supportive without fault, and so sweet.

Kurt trusted him with his life. He loved him with all his heart. Now he wanted to be able to show it in his art.

"Kurt?" Rachel called him from the bedroom door, snapping him out of his daze.

"Yes?" He snapped out a little irritated at being interrupted.

His relationship with Rachel had been a little bit rocky lately. He still hadn't truly forgiven her for her extremely selfish decision about Kurt's life. She had trod on egg shells around him for days after he spoke to Finn, and he was actually glad about that.

Eventually he had to talk to her, they shared a living space anyway, so it was inevitable.

She understood his lack of communication with her, and never fought about it. 

"Just wanted to know if you would like some tea," she said quietly and Kurt sighed, "or I could make you a coffee?"

"No, thank you Rachel, I don't want anything."

"Oh ok."

He heard her footsteps slowly retreat from his door, and then placed one hand over his head, dragging his fingers over his face with a groan.

Why did it make him feel guilty to know she was being quiet as a mouse because of him reprimanding her behaviour?

Maybe he was becoming softer. 

He huffed out a laugh to himself as he picked up his brush to continue. As he swept the colour over the canvas in front of him his mind brought up a conversation he had with Blaine when he was in the apartment the very next day after Kurt had told him about talking to Finn.

Blaine had seen how Rachel and Kurt interacted and became slightly concerned as he sent a look to Kurt, who just shrugged about it.

"What's up with her?" He had asked.

"I had a talk with her about what she can and can't do, when it come sot people I don't want to see." Kurt explained as vaguely as he could but Blaine caught on to what he was saying.

"So you basically bulldozed the poor girl." he said and Kurt frowned at him as he continued, "no matter if she did something you didn't appreciate, you can't really blame her for trying to help you."

"That wasn't what I meant," Kurt said as Blaine frowned at him from the couch, "I just made her realize that bringing my past in here without my consent could have ended very badly."

"You've already shouted at her-"

"Whispered, harshly whispered." Kurt corrected and Blaine rolled his eyes at being interrupted.

"Do you think you really need to continue punishing her?"

"I can't forgive her for that so easily Blaine," Kurt had turned to his boyfriend with his own frown, "you know how it could have gone. We didn't know if Finn was a good guy, anything could have happened when I walked in here."

"I know, I'm not saying forgive her, but maybe stop ignoring her."

Kurt had agreed to stop ignoring her presence, but he still couldn't bring himself to truly forgive her for what she did. He thought he could count on her, he had opened up and revealed his past, which wasn't easy for him to do, and the stunt she pulled because she thought she would push the issue and try to help, well...

It wasn't the right way to do things, especially because Kurt's past was such a fragile topic, and his panic attacks tended to be extreme, but obviously he knew she didn't meant it in a malicious way.

It was all so complicated. 

He shook it off as he turned back to the canvas, focusing again on the painting and not on the confusing emotions in his head.


	21. Chapter 21

Blaine and Rachel's Spring Critique was nearly upon them. Blaine wouldn't tell Kurt what he had chosen as his song, even when Kurt pleaded with him and tried to kiss him breathless to get the information. He had kept his mouth firmly shut on the topic.

But Kurt was excited to see it anyway. He loved Blaine's voice, it was one of his favourite things to listen to. Rachel was nervous too, and no matter how much Kurt and Blaine both tried to calm her down with kind words, she remained anxious.

Kurt and his relationship with Rachel was tense to say the least. He had tried to figure out a way to forgive her but he just couldn't accept what she had done. She had been trying to get on his good side for the last 2 weeks, and Blaine had even made him realize that maybe he should forgive and forget. But try as he might, he just couldn't understand her reason for doing what she did.

But Kurt had put everything behind them a few days ago, realizing that he wasn't really being fair to her. She had never known anyone with a past like his, and she had made stupid mistakes but Kurt, being told again and again by Blaine too, had known that those mistakes came from trying to help.

"Maybe you should let her explain her side," Blaine had told him when he had seen her trying to get Kurt's attention and him ignoring her completely, "maybe then you can understand why she did it."

Kurt knew his boyfriend had a point. It wasn't just about Rachel though, he was still reeling a little from what Finn had told him.

His anxiety and depression were still present and they weren't going away any time soon, it made him feel uneasy with shocking situations. And getting past things was more difficult for him because of that.

He sighed as he made Rachel her favourite tea, it was the Spring Critique tonight at Nyada and he felt like he should be the supportive friend for her, and of course the supportive boyfriend for Blaine.

He would get past it eventually.

She emerged from her early morning shower, walking into the kitchen wearily when she saw he was already there. He offered her a small smile and handed her a tea cup as a sort of peace offering. She took it with a small nervous smile of her own.

"Rach, I erm-I don't really know how to start this, but..." He said and she only raised an eyebrow curiously as she sipped her tea, "I need to get past what you did, and I guess I wanted to know why you did it?"

"Oh."

"Was there a reason?"

She looked down at her hands, fiddling with the cup while she bit her lip.

"I erm...I'm not really sure what the reason was," she started and he silently listened, "I've never known anyone who had...been through what you have...and I guess I just wanted to help. But I know I went about it the wrong way."

"I guess I was a little harsh on you," Kurt added with a nod, "but you know, you really hurt me."

"I know Kurt, and I'm so sorry."

"Well, I accept your apology," he told her with a smile, which she returned, "and I hope that you will trust me to make my own decisions in the future?"

"Of course," she said quickly, and then held her arms open, "so can I get a hug?"

He laughed a little as he enveloped her within his arms and she sighed into his shoulder. 

"I missed you Kurt, I missed talking to you. And I couldn't stand that you were mad at me." She mumbled into his shirt, a little emotionally and he smiled softly.

"It's ok now," he said as he slowly pulled back from her, but smoothing his hands down her arms in a comforting gesture, "and I will be there tonight to support you. You're going to be fabulous."

"Thank you Kurt."

"You should invite Finn to come along." He said and she blushed a little with a shy smile.

"Think so?"

"Yeah, I' sure he'll be glad to go."

"Ok."

After a few hours spent talking and catching up with each other, Kurt helped her pick out an outfit for her performance, which was a very nice flowing light blue gown, which suited her really well. Her make up was more subtle than what she wore regularly, but the little bit of eyeliner she had on made her eyes stand out. 

Kurt called her beautiful and she blushed.

Finn was waiting outside Nyada when they arrived, so Kurt sent Rachel in with him while he tried to find Blaine. He found him in a nearby music room, which Blaine often used for practice, going over a few notes on the piano, but Kurt didn't recognize the song.

"Hey." He said and Blaine looked up a little in surprise but then a huge grin stretched across his lips as Kurt walked inside.

"Hey you," he replied as Kurt stepped into his space for a hug, placing a kiss against his cheek, "Is it time already?"

"Nearly," Kurt told him with a smile, "are you ready?"

"Yeah I think so, just going over a couple of hard parts, that's all."

"Lets go then honey."

As Kurt led Blaine out, holding his hand gently, Blaine took a few deep breaths to calm his own nerves before they reached the room. Kurt turned to him just outside the doors and placed his hand son Blaine's shoulders, staring intently in his eyes.

"You'll be great, Blaine. Everyone is going to love it." Kurt gave him an encouraging look, earning a bright smile in return.

"Thank you, baby." 

With one last chaste kiss on his lips, Kurt opened the door for Blaine, for the first time eyeing him up in his grey suit and pants, Blaine looked the right part. Especially with the black shirt and red tie. Just the right amount of seriousness versus colour.

Kurt walked over to a table where Rachel and Finn were already sitting and waiting. Blaine gave both of them a greeting and they sat and talked before Madam Tibideaux got u to announce the beginning of the performances.

The applauded for everyone that sang and performed different pieces, and soon enough Rachel had her turn. Her song was beautiful and her voice was strong and powerful, it sent shivers down Kurt's spine.

He was smiling at her widely, and when he turned to watch Finn's face he found a look of awe and excitement there, he raised an eyebrow and nudged Blaine, pointing at Finn silently.

Blaine shared a smile and shrug with him while they turned back to watch Rachel's last belt out.

They stood on the feet with the entire room to give her applause, she was smiling and gently wiping at her wet eyes while she thanked everyone before taking her seat again.

"You were incredible." Kurt heard Finn tell her, watching her blush and thank him, before taking her hand underneath the table and squeezing.

She turned to him with a smile and he gave her a wink.

Blaine's turn came around soon enough, and the pianist gave up his sot for him as the room quieted. Kurt was proud to call him his boyfriend, Blaine looked right at home and comfortable behind the piano.

As the arrangement started up, Kurt couldn't place the song, until the first words came out of his boyfriend's mouth.

"Oh no, did I get too close  
Oh did I almost see,  
What's really on the inside."

Kurt's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as Blaine's beautiful voice sounded out above his piano arrangement of the song. But all Kurt was focusing on was the lyrics.

"All your insecurities  
all the dirty laundry,  
never made me blink one time."

"Unconditional,  
Unconditionally.  
I will love you,  
Unconditionally."

"There is no fear now,   
let go and just be free.  
I will love you,   
Unconditionally."

Kurt felt like he was going to cry, like Blaine was singing to his soul. 

"So come just as you are to me  
don't need apologies,  
know that you are all worthy."

Okay, now Kurt was crying.

"I'll take your bad days with your good  
walk through the storm I would,  
and do it all because I love you,"

Blaine looked over at him then.

"I love you!"

Kurt felt his entire being warm up and his chest ached while he listened and watched Blaine sing with so much passion and honesty and openness in his performance. There was something magical about the effect Blaine's singing voice had on Kurt, it was amazing. He could literally feel the song washing through him, along with Blaine's warm gaze.

"So open up your heart and just let it begin,  
open up your heart and just let it begin,  
open up your heart and just let it begin.  
Open up your heart!"

He wasn't aware that he had squeezed Rachel's hand so tight until she tried to pry it from him, and he glanced over with an apologetic smile before his focus went back to his love.

"Acceptance is the key to be  
to be truly free,   
will you do the same for me?"

Kurt felt his resolve break, and tears came unbidden to slide gently down his cheeks as Blaine continued his song.

"Unconditional,  
Unconditionally.  
I will love you   
unconditionally,  
and there is no ear now  
let go and just be free,  
coz I will love you   
Unconditionally."

As the piano arrangement picked up into a faster rhythm, Kurt felt his chest tighten again as Blaine sang "I will love you" over and over. He could literally feel his heart beating in time with the music, and a smile spread across his face even though his cheeks were shining and wet with tears.

As the song came to an end, and Blaine gazed over at Kurt with a look so full of emotion and raw love, the entire room cat called and stood to their feet in a standing ovation, the loudest the room had made so far that night. Blaine bowed at everyone before stepping out from behind the piano.

He didn't make it two steps before Kurt ran over and flung himself into his arms, whispering in his ear that he loved him, over and over again.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt made the decision of staying over at Blaine's apartment that night. He was feeling lighter and more in love than ever after Blaine's performance.

They all walked back to Kurt and Rachel's apartment, Finn and Rachel were talking amongst themselves as they too the lead. Kurt was glancing at Blaine as they walked behind them, holding his hand lightly. Blaine kept giving him broad smiles every time he caught his gaze.

Kurt felt like there were no words needed, everything that they both wanted to say were in the shy looks and smiles. And as they got to their apartment building, Finn said goodnight to them all and went on his way to his hotel, and as Blaine was about to say goodnight, Kurt stopped him.

"Will you wait for me? I just want to go and grab some stuff." he said quietly and Blaine looked at him confused for a moment but nodded anyway.

Rachel accosted him as they began their walk up the stairs to their apartment.

"Are you staying at Blaine's?" She asked a little excitedly and Kurt gave her a little smile.

"I was planning on it," Kurt replied as she opened the door, "do you think it's a good idea?"

"Oh yeah, of course," she said as they moved towards Kurt's bedroom, she followed him inside and watched as he got things together in his bag, "is tonight going to be THE night, do you think?"

Kurt looked over his shoulder a little at her implication and then shrugged.

"I don't know," he answered honestly and she grinned at him, "maybe, we'll see how it goes."

"Kurt, don't push yourself." She told him seriously, "You know Blaine will wait for...that."

"I know," he said with a short nod, zipping up his bag and then moving past her and into the bathroom to grab the rest of his things, "but I just- I feel ready, you know?"

She nodded at him and then pulled him into a hug before he left.

"I love you Kurt, but don't do anything you don't want to." She said as she released him, Kurt gave her a grateful smile.

"I love you too rach, and don't worry, I won't."

"Ok, have fun." She told him with a grin and he gave her a nervous grin back as he reached for the door, "Call me and let me know how it went, yeah?"

"Rach, I'm not giving you details."

She waved him off and he laughed a little as he walked out. 

Blaine was still waiting for him outside, and as he spied the bag in Kurt's hand he raised his eyebrows a little.

"What's this?" He asked curiously and Kurt shrugged.

"Thought I would stay," he said as he gave him a small shy look, "that ok?"

"Ok? It's more than ok." Blaine said excitedly, pulling him into a hug, "are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

Blaine pulled back and stared into Kurt's eyes for a moment, trying to see if he was really as okay as he said he was before giving a little nod.

"Ok, lets go."


	22. Chapter 22

Kurt became a little more nervous as he walked into Blaine's apartment, Blaine following after him to shut and lock the door. He was fine on the walk over, feeling like he was ready for this next step, but as he entered he felt the insecurities and his anxiety kick in. 

He tried to push it all down, as Blaine placed a hand on the small of his back.

"Why don't you put your bag and stuff in the room and I'll make us a drink." He said and Kurt only nodded as he walked to the bedroom.

He sighed to himself when he was alone, giving himself a small pep talk in his head. He was being ridiculous, he told himself. Blaine wouldn't be expecting anything, and he wouldn't push. He loved him so much. But Kurt felt like he could do this for Blaine. He had been so patient in all of this.

And they had been dating for a few months now. It was the natural next step right?

He sighed again as he placed his things in Blaine's adjoining bathroom and then walked back out and into the kitchen where Blaine was standing at the counter making hot chocolate.

He turned and smiled at Kurt as he walked in.

"Hey, I thought it was a bit late for coffee, but there's never a bad time for hot chocolate." he said and Kurt grinned back at him.

"Thanks."

Blaine handed Kurt his drink after adding cream and marshmallows, and then adding more cream on top which Kurt laughed at before they made their way over to the couch to make themselves comfortable.

They sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks, until Blaine turned to Kurt with a reading look.

"You're nervous aren't you?" Blaine asked and the way he was staring at Kurt, made it difficult for Kurt to tell a lie, s he ended up just staring back with a shy grin.

"Is it obvious?" He asked and Blaine nodded with a little smile of his own.

"To me yes, because I know you," He said and Kurt looked down at his chocolate with a small sigh, "so let's talk."

"About?" Kurt raised an eyebrow and Blaine turned his whole body on the couch to face him, placing one leg underneath the other.

"Why are you nervous?" he asked as he placed an elbow on the back of the couch and placed his chin on his hand, waiting patiently.

"Oh, well- I'm not sure, really."

"You know nothing has to happen right?" Blaine pointed out, "I won't push you."

"I know, honey, really I know you won't." Kurt said quickly, placing his mug of chocolate down on the table before turning to Blaine and grabbing his other hand.

"So why the nerves? Were you expecting me to jump on you?"

"No," Kurt said with a laugh, "I just really want to keep moving forward. This is a step in the right direction I think, staying over. Well I hope it is."

"Of course, you're putting yourself out of your comfort zone for me, it is a big step."

"Yeah."

"But I don't want you to be uncomfortable." Blaine added as Kurt's fingers played with his own, gazing at him with a soft warm look, trying to convey how much he respected him and wanted him to be comfortable.

"I'm not, I love being here." Kurt said adamantly, leaning towards Blaine and placing his other hand around his neck to play with the curls at the back.

"Ok, well that's good." Blaine said as he almost purred with Kurt playing with his hair.

They both smiled at each other as they leaned in, sealing their lips together. Blaine's hand went up straight away to cup Kurt's cheek, and slowly slid it around to bury his fingers in his hair, as their lips slid together. Kurt pushed forward into him more, making the kiss harder so that Blaine couldn't do anything but open his lips.

Kurt smiled before his ran his tongue along Blaine's bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth, nibbling on it a little until Blaine took over and smashed their mouths together. His tongue invaded Kurt's mouth, forcing Kurt's tongue back as he deepened it. 

Kurt gasped into Blaine's open mouth, before gripping his face with both of his hands and letting Blaine lay them back onto the couch, Blaine making sure that his mug of chocolate found the tables surface before he placed both of his hands on Kurt's waist.

As he brought their bodies in line, Kurt groaned a little. Blaine's hands were soft, but hot and wandering from his waist to his hips, pressing Kurt closer to him as he laid out on top of him. He kept their hips a little apart, placing knees on either side of Kurt's, as the kiss became more longing and desperate.

Kurt's hands moved from his face, sliding around to the back of his neck, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, pressing him closer so that chests were touching.

Blaine's mouth and tongue left his with a gasp of air, and he moved down to mouth and suck little kisses along his jaw. Kurt tilted his head up with a sigh of content, and Blaine mouthed his way down to underneath his chin, and then further down his throat.

Kurt whined as Blaine's hands gripped him more roughly, as he began licking and sucking his way from the middle of Kurt's throat to the side of his neck. Kurt began panting a little as Blaine pressed him down into the couch with his chest before pulling his mouth away from Kurt's collarbone to look up at him.

Kurt had never seen Blaine's eyes so dark, the pupils literally drowning out the rest of the colour in them, until there was only a small ring of golden brown, and he smiled at him.

"This ok?" Blaine asked with a rough voice, that sent shivers through Kurt's stomach and heat pool in his groin, and he nodded, swallowing loudly.

"Yes, so ok." Kurt replied as Blaine moved back in to kiss his lips, Kurt opening them automatically for Blaine's roaming tongue.

After a few more minutes of touching and kissing, Blaine pulled back and grabbed at Kurt's hand pulling him up. Kurt was confused for a second until Blaine was leading them to his bedroom, and he grinned back at him shyly as Blaine looked at him to make sure it was still ok.

Blaine pushed Kurt gently into the room first, plastering himself to Kurt's back, to suck and lick at the back of Kurt's neck lightly. They walked a little unceremoniously to the bed, and Kurt turned to sit down on it.

He came almost face to face with the tent in Blaine's suit trousers, and he licked his lips as he blushed and looked up to Blaine's face. Blaine smiled back down at him as he bent over and sealed their mouths back together. Kurt was lost in the kiss, as Blaine straddled his lap, and then he was being leaned back until his back came into contact with the sheets of the bed. 

He groaned as Blaine's mouth left his again, burying his face in Kurt's neck, mouthing over the skin gently. Kurt wriggled to push himself up onto the bed more and Blaine grinned at him as he followed. But he chose to lay next to Kurt instead, and placed one hand on Kurt's hip.

"Still ok?"

"Yes." Kurt replied, his face and his groin feeling overheated. 

Blaine literally attacked his lips then, scooting closer so that Kurt could feel the heat coming off of his body. Blaine hand skimmed from his hip and pushed up underneath Kurt's shirt, which made him jump a little but he pulled Blaine closer with his arms.

They both moaned as their tongues battled heatedly within Kurt's mouth, and Blaine placed a thigh over Kurt's getting infinitely closer. Kurt could feel the hardness in Blaine's suit pants pressing against his leg, and it made him groan a little. 

As Blaine's hand travelled back down and then came to a stop over the zipper on Kurt's jeans, Kurt began to get nervous, but tried to lose himself into the kiss again. Blaine's hand skimmed over Kurt's erection softly and then Kurt tensed. He went completely still and Blaine pulled back from the kiss to stare at Kurt's face a little worriedly.

"Kurt?"

"Stop." Kurt managed to squeak out and Blaine immediately backed off, kneeling up on the bed and making sure none of their bodies were touching as Kurt sat himself up slowly, trying to breath through the panic.

Blaine waited patiently while Kurt tried to calm himself, and he glanced up at Blaine's worried face before he looked away uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry.." he said quietly and Blaine's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"What? No, Kurt, don't be sorry, it's ok." He said in comfort, speaking softly as he reached out to comfort him, but pulled back as Kurt flinched away from the contact.

Kurt didn't look back at him, as he moved away, not wanting to see the hurt that he knew was in Blaine's eyes. He dropped his face into his hands as he sat there. 

"Kurt? Talk to me baby."

"I'm really sorry..." Kurt mumbled into his palms, and Blaine's eyebrows furrowed, "I just wanted- I wanted things to go right, I wanted to give this to you."

"Give what to me?" Blaine asked softly, in a voice clouded with concern and Kurt felt himself revert even more.

"I wanted to be good, and now everything feels so wrong."

"What?" Blaine asked as he moved to sit next to Kurt, not touching but being close to offer comfort, "Kurt, please...don't think like that."

"It should be natural, to want to be with your boyfriend...to want to be with the person you love." Kurt said with disdain at himself in his voice and Blaine's heart literally broke at the tone.

"No, no...Kurt, don't push yourself to do this, just because you think it's what I want."

"Isn't it?" Kurt asked as he looked up into Blaine's eyes, and Blaine shook his head.

"No," he said adamantly, before holding out a hand for Kurt to take if he wanted, which he did slowly, "I'm not going to lie, that would have been great. But nothing is worth you pushing yourself and hurting yourself. Not for me. And definitely not for sex."

Kurt nodded but didn't look like he believed him and Blaine let out a sigh of his own.

"Look, Kurt," Blaine continued, knowing where Kurt's train of thought was taking him, "yes it is a natural next step for many relationships. In normal circumstances I guess it happens, but sweetheart, this isn't a normal circumstance."

Kurt huffed with a frown.

"Don't I know it." He said with self loathing and Blaine gave him a sad frown.

"You're taking offense, but I didn't mean it that way," he said as he squeezed Kurt's hand tightly, "even if we never have sex, I'm already happy being your boyfriend."

Kurt thought about what Blaine said for a second and then looked up at him with a shy, disbelieving look.

"Really?"

"Yes really." Blaine said seriously, "I love you. That's always been enough for me."

"Even if we never-" Kurt started to ask and Blaine interrupted with a smile.

"Yes. I care about you Kurt, not about sex."

Kurt smiled back at him, and Blaine felt a little better that he managed to cut through the self loathing and disdain Kurt felt for himself. He added a warm look to show Kurt how much he cared. Kurt nodded and turned on the bed to face Blaine completely, trying to smile but falling a little short.

"I'm sorry Blaine." he said a little emotionally, and Blaine reached out a hand to brush his hair back from where it fell over his forehead, feeling happy when Kurt didn't pull away.

"It's ok, just don't force it to happen, because you think it should."

So you don't want to?" Kurt asked a little hesitantly and Blaine gave him a cheeky grin.

"Not gonna lie, you're incredibly hot," he whispered and Kurt laughed, "but if we never get there, you know what my favourite part is?"

"What?"

"Cuddles."

"Cuddles?"

Blaine nodded, his broad smile bringing the spirits up in the room once again and Kurt giggled a little.

"It's my favourite too." Kurt said and Blaine held his arms open for a second so that Kurt could snuggle against him.

Kurt sighed into the his shirt, nuzzling his nose against his chest, while Blaine rested his chin on his hair, after placing a little affectionate kiss on the soft brown locks. 

"I love you Kurt." he said and Kurt pulled him in closer, tightening his arms around Blaine's waist.

"I love you too."


	23. Chapter 23

The morning after Kurt's failed act at intimacy, he thought it was going to be awkward, but Blaine made him feel so safe and loved that it wasn't. They had shared breakfast together before they showered, separately, and Kurt felt infinitely better about the night before.

Blaine kept asking him if he was okay, when he became quiet and Kurt kept smiling at him and telling him he was. Blaine's concerned face soon melted into excitement when Kurt surprised him about the gallery his art was going to be on display at, and Blaine had congratulated him enthusiastically. Lots of kissing involved.

Rachel had been waiting for him when he got home that afternoon, and she had held him in her arms as he explained what happened. 

He loved that he had such a supportive network of people around him, but it didn't make it any easier to overcome things. He wanted Blaine, he did. His boyfriend was hot, sweet and so loving. But when it came to it, Kurt's body wasn't ready, and he would just have to take some time to get over that.

Kurt spent the rest of the day in his room, working on his art. he was only broken out of his thought process when there was a knock on the apartment door. Rachel was in the shower, as he heard from the running water, so with sigh he put his paintbrush down and went to see who it was.

As he opened it, he was greeted with a delivery guy, holding a big bouquet of flowers. He furrowed his eyebrows as he accepted it, signing in the book that he had received it and then shut the door.

He smelled the sweet mix of the different fragrances that came from the bouquet in his hands, while carrying the to the table in the kitchen. He found a card in amongst them as he placed them down, and turned it over in his hand.

It read:

'I can't put into word how much you mean to me, so hopefully these beautiful flowers will do it for me. Thank you for a wonderful night. And don't worry about anything...because I know you are. I love you Kurt. B.'

Kurt folded his lips in, trying to hold back the tears of joy as he read the card over and over. His heart was literally bursting and the hurt and worry from last night, melted away as he read it and smelled the flowers once more. He sighed happily as he placed them down again.

Rachel appeared some time later from her shower, and found him sitting at the table with a huge smile on his face, and tears dripping down his cheeks. She looked at the flowers and then back to Kurt with concern until he showed her the card and a huge grin broke out on her face too.

"Kurt, I'm so happy for you," she said as she placed an arm around his shoulders, and he wrapped one arm around her waist, "you found someone worthy of your love. And that's all that counts."

"I know." he said quietly, sniffling and trying to stop the tears, "he makes me feel so much, sometimes it gets so intense you know."

She nodded.

"And after all we've been through, I just sometimes can't believe that he still loves me, still wants me."

"Of course he does, Kurt," she said as she squeezed him to her a little tighter, "you're so beautiful, and kind, and you have such an open heart. Anybody would be lucky to have you, and he knows that."

He shot her a grateful smile while removing his phone from his back jean pocket, and she gave him another smile before leaving his side, letting him have his moment.

He opened the messaging app on Blaine's number and felt himself smiling again as he wrote out a response.

'Sometimes I don't believe you're real, Blaine Anderson, and I think any second now I'm going to wake up and it will all have been a wonderful dream. But you're always there, and I don't wake up, and I couldn't have dreamed of anyone better to fall in love with. Because I fall deeper and deeper every day. I love you.'

He clicked send and waited impatiently for a reply, which he got almost a minute later.

'I take it, you got the flowers? :)'

'I did, and they're gorgeous. I'm literally sitting at the table in tears right now.'

'Aww baby, don't cry :('

'They're happy tears.'

':)'

Kurt chewed his lip for a second and sent out another text.

'Can you come round for dinner tonight?'

'Of course I will ;)'

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine decided to stay with Kurt on the night before his big art gallery showcase, so that they could spend more time together, and Kurt couldn't have been happier. Rachel had work that night, so Blaine and Kurt decided on watching a sappy movie together while eating popcorn and chocolate, a little treat for them to indulge in occasionally. 

As the movie came to an end though, they found themselves wrapped in each other's arms again, making out on the couch. Kurt felt more comfortable on his own turf, so they were grinding against each other, but were interrupted when Rachel slammed the door open.

Kurt jumped and his forehead clashed with Blaine's painfully, and they both groaned as they apologized to each other, before lifting their heads over the back of the couch to see Rachel fuming in the kitchen.

"Hey Rach, what's the matter honey?" Kurt asked while still rubbing his forehead, Blaine glancing at him before rubbing it too, while Rachel looked over at them with a frown.

"My boss," she said through gritted teeth, "I mean I know his favourite staff, but he literally just berated me in front of customers about being late. Even though it was only a minute, and it was because the subway was packed so I had to take another train. No matter that I was soaked by the time I got there, coz I had to walk a block in the downpour."

Kurt and Blaine shared a wince, before offering her a seat with them on the couch. She sat down with a huff, and Kurt put his hand on her head, stroking her hair with a coo, as Blaine offered her some chocolate. She gave them a little smile.

"Thanks." she said as she took it, chewing slowly, and Kurt turned to place his arm around her.

"We were watching sappy movies, if you want to join?" He asked with a small comforting smile, but she shook her head. 

"No, I'm just tired, I'm going to go have a shower and then go to bed," she said as she got up, patting both of their knees, "I can't wait to see your art tomorrow though."

Kurt smiled brightly up at her and she gave them both another grin before saying goodnight.

"Maybe we should go to bed too," Kurt said as he looked back at Blaine, "it is getting late."

"Don't you wanna make out?"

Kurt laughed at the pouting look on Blaine's face and he rubbed a hand gently over his cheek as he got up.

"Who said we were sleeping?"

Blaine laughed as he smacked him on the ass, before following him into the bedroom. As they lay side by side on the bed, Kurt couldn't help the massive grin from spreading over his lips. he turned to see Blaine looking back at him, watching him intently with a little smile of his own.

"What?"

"It's nice to see you so excited for tomorrow." Blaine said and Kurt sighed contentedly.

"I've never felt this excited before," he explained, "I just can't believe it's happening. I mean, I knew they show off the best ones every year, but to be part of that...and having my own section."

"It's amazing, but your art is too, so no surprise they want to showcase it."

"You're incredibly sweet, Mr Anderson, you know that?" Kurt gave him a grin and leaned in to kiss him, making Blaine hum against his lips.

"So you keep saying." He mumbled against Kurt's mouth before sealing them together a little harder.

Kurt laughed as Blaine ran his hand down his chest, skimming over a ticklish spot before resting his hand on his hip. Blaine chuckled with him before doing it again, causing Kurt to snort a little as he laughed again.

"Stop it, or I'll tickle you right back."

"Bring it on." Blaine said with a challenging glint in his eyes and Kurt tackled him backwards onto the bed, running his hands down to Blaine's ribs, causing his boyfriend to squeak.

They had a tickle war for a few minutes, before they both became out of breath by laughing so much. Kurt paused in his tickling to look down into Blaine's wonder filled eyes, before slowly moving down to cover Blaine's body with his own and kissing him again.

The kiss was soft, slow, but no less passionate than any of their others, and Blaine moaned as he buried a hand in Kurt's hair, tilting his head to the left a little so they could deepen their connection.

Kurt moaned into Blaine's mouth as his tongue invaded, feeling the heat coming from Blaine and moving one hand down to Blaine's stomach. He felt the muscles clench underneath Blaine's sleep shirt, and moaned as he pushed into the kiss harder.

Blaine pulled back after another minute, eyeing Kurt suspiciously while he felt the hand moving slowly down and down until it was by the waistband of his sweatpants.

"Kurt, you don't have to." He started and quieted when Kurt shook his head before smiling down at him.

"What if I want to?" Kurt asked as he stared into Blaine's eyes, the confidence the only thing showing, along with love and Blaine gulped slightly.

"Do you?" He asked in a rough voice, full with arousal.

"Mhm," Kurt said as his fingers played underneath the waistband of the sweatpants, and Blaine sat up on his elbows to capture Kurt's lips in a searing kiss, "so is that a yes?"

"Yes."

Blaine whimpered when Kurt's hand ran down underneath the waistband of his sweatpants, and then his boxers, skimming over the heated flesh underneath. He gasped when Kurt's hand stopped just short of touching him where he needed it, and he looked up at Kurt's face for his reaction.

All he found was pure love and affection from Kurt's eyes, and he smiled up at him encouragingly as his hips wriggled a little. 

Kurt's hand slowly reached for him, and as Kurt's cooler fingers wrapped around the heated flesh of his erection, Blaine cried out a little. Kurt's hand backed off a little and Blaine whimpered in protest, but Kurt was only pulling at his sweatpants and boxers, tugging them down a little to make it easier to touch him.

Kurt's mind thought back to before, and realized that this was nothing like how he felt then. At Blaine's apartment he had been awkward and nervous, but here in his own place, surrounded by his own comfort he felt better. It was actually exciting for him, and touching Blaine made him so happy.

Kurt's hand returned to Blaine's cock, wrapping his slightly shaky hand around him. He began to stroke up and down his length. Blaine was watching Kurt's face as he stroked him, seeing the heated gaze directed down to what his hand was doing. Blaine moaned and moved his hips up, thrusting a little through Kurt's hand and his grip became a little tighter.

Shivers ran through him as Kurt brushed his thumb over the tip of his cock, smearing the pre-cum that had gathered there, staring down with awe as he spread it around. As Kurt stroked back down, he twisted his hand, causing Blaine's thighs to tense up and a loud moan come from his boyfriend's throat.

Kurt bit his lip to keep from moaning himself, the noises and movements Blaine was making because of him, was making him hard too. 

"How does it feel?" Kurt asked him a little breathlessly and Blaine's closed eyes shot open and stared at him so intently and clouded with pleasure.

"So good, baby."

Shudders ran through Blaine with each stroke, and Kurt could feel them vibrating the bed. Blaine's movements became more jerky and out of rhythm as he gently thrust his hips up into Kurt's hand, encouraging Kurt to keep moving. Kurt's other hand skimmed over the front of his own tented pyjama pants, and he moaned along with Blaine.

It didn't take much longer for Blaine to start gasping for Kurt to stroke faster. And as he did, Blaine whole body shuddered and then he clenched up after 5 more strokes, before shooting come onto Kurt's hand and wrists and his own stomach, with a low groan.

Kurt watched it, amazed at what just happened. He was still hard himself, but removed his hand from the front of his own pants, to shift his gaze back up to Blaine's face. His mouth was open and he looked the very picture of debauched. 

Kurt bit his lip while he waited for Blaine to breath normally. And when he did, he looked back at Kurt with a small smile.

"Come here." Blaine said as he held his arms open, and Kurt glanced down at the mess on Blaine's stomach before complying and laying with him.

"Did you want me to return the favour?" Blaine asked slowly and Kurt thought about it before shaking his head.

"No, I'm okay," he said with a smile as Blaine's eyes were closing with exhaustion, "maybe next time?"

Blaine placed a gentle kiss against his temple before snuggling him. He reached down to pull his underwear and sweatpants back up, wiping off his stomach with his t shirt. 

"That was absolutely incredible, Kurt." 

Kurt smiled against his neck, and ran his hands around Blaine's chest slowly, feeling the soft contented moan vibrate in his boyfriends chest. He felt a little lighter. He had no idea how amazing that could feel, just giving pleasure to someone else.

To Blaine.

And he had looked so hot, that Kurt felt like he could cry from happiness. This only meant that the next step wasn't too far away and he smiled as they snuggled to sleep, before remembering his hand was messy and he got up to wipe it quickly before laying back down with Blaine.

His boyfriend groaned a little as he lay back down, and he opened one sleepy eye to look at him.

"Can I be little spoon?" Blaine asked hopefully and Kurt laughed a little before nodding.

Blaine turned with a happy grin, and Kurt plastered himself to Blaine's back, wrapping his arm around his warm, and sated boyfriend. Kurt felt Blaine's hand wrap around his fingers, over his chest and he smiled as he placed a kiss in his hair.

The last thing he heard before he feel asleep was Blaine's happy little sigh.

"I love you so much..."


	24. Chapter 24

Kurt, Blaine, Rachel and Finn walked into the gallery in Kurt's art school, and gasped at the amount of art there was around them. From statues and sculptures, to pencil sketches and paintings, there was literally art in every inch of the room. 

There were thousands of people milling around, with photographers capturing pictures of everything. Blaine watched Kurt's face light up with excitement, and knew in that moment that Kurt was in the exact profession he wanted to be. Art inspired him, made him happy, it was his whole life. Just like Blaine with performing.

They wandered around looking over all the different depictions of life around them, some more extreme than others. Finn's eyes literally became stuck looking at a nude drawing of a very attractive female, or rather on her painted breasts.

Rachel had to nudge him slightly as they moved along, while Blaine and Kurt snickered quietly.

"Oh, that's my friend Lara's work," Kurt told them as he pointed to a painting on the right, "she's amazing."

"You're amazing." Blaine whispered to him as they continued walking and Kurt blushed a little, knowing Blaine was also referring to last night, which itself was a different form of art for Kurt.

Blaine was interrupted as he leaned in to kiss Kurt, by a loud voice ringing out from behind them.

"Kurt!" a woman's voice shouted in delight, and they all turned to watch a grey haired older woman, walk up to Kurt with her arms up, and Kurt just grinned back at her, "there you are. I was waiting for you to arrive, you have quite the crowd around your work."

"Thank you Mrs Heln," Kurt said with a slight blush and as his art teacher eyed his friends and boyfriend he felt himself fumble over introductions, "erm...uh, this is Blaine, my boyfriend...Rachel my roommate, and Finn...erm, yeah."

She smiled politely at them all and shook hands with them before turning back to Kurt with a big excited grin.

"Oh Kurt, you'll never guess who managed to clear his schedule for us today," she clapped her hands a little, and Kurt just looked confused at her for moment, "and I know he's your favourite as well as mine...Daniel Schoman."

Blaine watched with amusement as Kurt's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, a very unusual stutter coming from his lips as he tried and failed to answer her.

Blaine took pity on his poor stunned boyfriend to speak for him.

"Who is that?" he asked Kurt's teacher, and she turned to him with a grin.

"Daniel is the best, if not one of the best, artists in New York City," she explained, while Kurt tried to pull himself together, "he has a statue in a very prestigious art gallery in every country, if not every city-"

"And a painting in almost every building in New York," Kurt finished for her, finally over his shock and he smiled at Blaine, "including my apartment."

"Wow, impressive, so he's a big deal in the art world?" Blaine asked and Kurt chuckled.

"He's a big deal everywhere, and I have such a love for the way he paints, he always uses a flat brush and he doesn't change it, at all, but all of his lines are so flawless."

Blaine furrowed his brows as Kurt spoke about this man with such flare and passion, feeling a little roil of jealousy settle somewhere in his stomach. 

"And he was very impressed with your work Kurt." Mrs Heln then said and Kurt turned back to her comically wide eyes.

"My- my-"

"Yes my dear boy," she said as she took one of his hands, "and he wanted to meet the art student who was responsible, but a little later when most of people are gone."

"Oh my gosh! Really?" Kurt was reeling slightly from the news and leaned back against Blaine, who was standing just behind him, with a happy smile on his face.

"Yes, I shall come and collect you later." She said as she waved goodbye to everyone and walked away.

"Oh my god, can you believe it?!" Kurt exclaimed as he turned to everyone with a big grin, bouncing a little on his feet, and Blaine loved seeing this side of his boyfriend, "somebody pinch me, I think I might be dreaming- Ow Finn! I didn't mean literally."

Kurt rubbed at the spot Finn had pinched on his arm, while glaring at his friend, who only shrugged in response.

"Oh...but Daniel Schoman...and he wants to meet with me..." Kurt said a little dreamily and Blaine coughed a little uncomfortably behind his boyfriend.

"Erm...this guy good looking?" He asked seemingly nonchalant but Kurt turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you jealous?" He asked with amusement in his tone, tilting his lips up in a smirk.

"Me? No!" Blaine said indignantly, but had his own little smirk playing on his lips, "just want to know if I have competition."

"Honey," Kurt laughed and brought his hand up to brush his cheek, "Daniel is a 65 year old, balding man, with a wife of 30 years, 5 children and 6 great grandchildren...no competition at all baby."

Blaine laughed with him and then wrapped his arms around Kurt, holding him tight.

"Then congratulations baby, I knew you would be amazing." He whispered into the side of Kurt's cheek, and he felt Kurt's face split into a grin, even though he couldn't see it.

"Thank you."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt was biting his lip while he waited for Blaine to say something. He was nervous, because there were some pieces to his art showcase that Blaine hadn't seen, but that featured parts of him in them. Blaine was looking around at all of them with an interesting look on his face, a look that Kurt couldn't identify.

So he was nervous for his reaction to it.

There were quite a few canvases up on the section of wall, a lot of them covered in body parts and structure, muscle tone, and even facial features, but all of it encompassed how Kurt saw Blaine. Because his boyfriend was beautiful, which he had voiced on more than one occasion.

Now seeing it all in this gallery, it was sure to be a little intimidating and maybe embarrassing to Blaine, but he still was waiting for a reaction.

His head master came up to talk to him while they were still hanging around his section quietly and Kurt greeted him with a handshake, smiling widely.

"It's so extraordinary to have so many wonderful pieces this year," he told Kurt with his own smile, tilting his greying mustache upwards, and Kurt could feel himself flush a little with the attention, "we open this gallery, as you know, every year, and never before has there been a student who has his own section. It's marvelous Kurt."

"Thank you, Mr Dune," Kurt said, "I really wasn't expecting any preferential treatment here."

"No, thank you Kurt," Mr Dune exclaimed with a pat to Kurt's shoulder, "this school has never had this much attention before, and never have we had a student who was as incredibly adept as you."

"He is pretty amazing," Blaine piped up from behind him and Kurt turned with a shy smile, "I keep telling him that."

"Well those eyes look very familiar," Mr Due said with a laugh while looking between the pieces up on the wall and then back to Blaine, obviously making the connection as Kurt flushed a little pink, "I take it you're the inspiration?"

"Guilty." Blaine said with smile holding his hand out to the man as Kurt introduced them.

"This is my boyfriend, Blaine."

"Nice to meet you." Mr Dune shook his hand and then smiled widely at somebody behind Kurt, "Ah Daniel, you must be here to see Kurt."

Kurt felt his entire body tense up and Blaine smiled at him before turning to the man behind them, surrounded by other people in suits and jackets. Kurt turned around slowly, and then his face lit up in the biggest grin Blaine had ever seen.

"Kurt Hummel I presume?" The man, Daniel, asked as he held his hand out for Kurt to shake, which he did with enthusiasm.

"Daniel Schoman, gosh it's such a pleasure to meet you," Kurt gushed, the awe written all over his face, "I have admired your work for years, and I actually can't believe I'm meeting you."

"My dear boy, your art is phenomenal. I wanted to meet with you because you seem to have a flare for catching the tiniest bit of detail, an eye like mine huh?"

"Thank you."

"And I think I recognize this young man next to you," Daniel said with a sly smile, "your teacher showed me the art that wasn't part of the show, although this young man seems to be fully clothed now."

Everyone laughed at that, and Blaine's face felt hot at that, but Kurt only grinned at him and clasped his hand.

"This is Blaine, my muse, my boyfriend, my inspiration." Kurt said and Blaine gave him a soft look at the description before offering his hand to Daniel.

"You attend school here too?" Daniel asks and Blaine shakes his head.

"Oh no, I go to Nyada, performing arts school."

"Yes I know the one," Daniel nodded and then looked a little thoughtful, "performing arts meets classic artistry, that is a great story. My wife was a singer when we met, she absolutely abhorred the fact that I would spend all night in the studio working on my art, but just the right amount of support I needed at the time."

Kurt and Blaine glanced at each other while nodding along with Daniel's story.

"Love beats all the odds though, and it's strange how much it affects everything we do," Daniel continued as he looked around at Kurt's art canvases, a finger tapping his bearded chin lightly, "the devotion comes through in all forms of art, when you have someone dear to you, whether it be singing or painting. I think sometimes the younger generation seem to forget to live when they work hard for their dreams."

"Daniel, you have an 9 o'clock to get to." The woman said quietly on his right and he nodded before turning back to Kurt.

"You seem to have the perfect balance with it though," he told Kurt, before clasping his shoulder lightly, "we'll have to get together again when you leave school. Some opportunities are too good to miss, and I might need someone like you to fill my galleries, just to give the flare back."

Kurt's mouth dropped open as Daniel reached into his jacket pocket to pick out a contact card and gave to him.

"I expect great things from you, my boy." He said and then gave them both another smile before raising a hand in goodbye and turned to leave.

"Mr Schoman?" Kurt asked and Daniel paused to look back at him, waiting patiently as Kurt remembered how to breathe, even though the people around him were becoming impatient, "erm I- Your work has inspired me from when I was 18, when I finally figured out that art was an escape but also my life. And I expected to struggle once school was over, there are so many great artists already...opportunities like this, I know, are very rare. And I never thought I would be able to do something I love, and make it into a career. But this- this means a lot. So thank you."

Daniel's eyes softened a little at Kurt's words, and Kurt was having trouble keeping his composure. Blaine placed a hand against the small of his back while Daniel gave him a smile.

"When you have a gift, Kurt, the whole world deserves to see it." He said and Kurt sucked in a quiet breath, before Daniel nodded at him and left.

Kurt let out a loud sigh, feeling his whole world melt and then rebuild as he clutched the card in his fingers. Blaine grinned at him and placed a kiss on his cheek. But Kurt was in his own mind right now, so Blaine waited patiently for his composure to be put back together so that he could speak.

"Wow." Was the only word that came to mind, and Blaine laughed as he wrapped an arm around his waist, tugging him closer.

"Kurt, I am so proud of you." He said quietly the love and awe shining in his eyes and Kurt turned to bury his face in Blaine's shoulder, letting out a little giggle that was muffled in Blaine's shirt.

"I can't believe that just happened." He said a little giddily and Blaine smiled adoringly down at his face, which was smiling into his shirt.

"I can, you're amazing, baby, and the whole world will know that." He said softly and Kurt lifted his head, to stare into his eyes.

Warm hazel turned to melted honey, and those sharp blue eyes were like a sunny sky shining with excitement. Kurt offered him a warm smile, his whole face lighting up. He raised a hand and placed it softly on Blaine's cheek.

"Thank you, for being here," he said quietly, his voice breaking a little with emotion and Blaine tilted his head with his own grin, "for being with me, for letting me use you for my art."

"Anytime baby, I love you. Use me all you like." Blaine added cheekily and Kurt laughed.

"Be careful, I may just take that offer literally." He said as he nudged Blaine's shoulder with his own.

"Seriously though, I am so proud of you Kurt," Blaine said, "it's not just me that can see something special, everyone can see it. And Daniel was right, you have a gift. A gift like that has to gain attention some time."

Kurt's entire body seemed to deflate at that, and he clung to Blaine, wrapping his arms around his shoulders tightly, while Blaine's arms wrapped around his waist. For the umpteenth time in the last couple of months, Kurt could feel his life sliding into place, and every little piece of it was coming together to create a whole picture. A perfect puzzle that fitted together, and without Blaine who knows where it would all be.

His art was his life, but now so was Blaine. The happiness overflowed as he held him close, coming out as hot tears that ran down his cheeks and soaked a little bit of Blaine's shoulder, but he didn't pull back, he couldn't, even as Blaine asked him what was wrong, he couldn't answer.

He just shook his head, because there wasn't anything wrong. Not anymore.


	25. Chapter 25

'Where am I?'

Was the first thought Kurt had, opening his eyes. He recognized that ceiling, and something about it wasn't right. He tried to sit up, but he was a little sluggish, was he dreaming?

He looked around the room he was in, the light wasn't very bright in here, so he couldn't see very much. It was a bedroom, that much he could make out. Not his, not Blaine's, not Rachel's. 

'Where the hell am I?'

"Hello Kurt."

That voice.

Kurt's eyes widened and his head whipped around to stare at the man in the doorway. No, it couldn't be, he was dead. Finn had told him.

"You- you're..." Kurt stumbled over his words, his mouth not working properly.

"I'm here," the man said as he made his way slowly towards him, and Kurt tried to scramble away, but his moves were sluggish too, like he was moving through water, "and you are just where I want you."

"No, t-this can't b-be real...y-you're dead." Kurt's voice sounded weird, higher than usual, and his whole body was shaking making his teeth chatter together.

The man smiled down at him. That sinister one that he hadn't seen for nearly 12 years. Then it all came back to him, and Kurt knew where he was.

"M-Marcus?" he gasped as the man's face became clearer and so did the bedroom.

They were back here, at Marcus' house, Kurt was in the little bedroom out the back, the room he always used to use when he slept over. But this couldn't be real. He was grown up now, he had a life.

"I knew you'd come back to me," the man sat down beside him, and only then did Kurt realize that he wasn't wearing any clothes, nothing, and he subconsciously tried to cover himself, "you always were a good boy."

"No." He shook his head as the man leaned closer.

He had to get out of here, he had to wake up, something.

His body trembled as the man ran his hand up the inside of his thigh, and no matter how much he tried, Kurt couldn't push him away, it was like his body lacked the strength. The man's hand cupped him and Kurt cried out, although the noise from his mouth sounded far away.

Those hands seemed bigger than he remembered, and his body convulsed with terror as the hand moved lower and ran down underneath him.

"No." was all he managed to gasp out, feeling those fingers from a memory ghost over him, he tried and tried to get his mind to co-operate with his hands, managing to move them slowly, to push against the arm that had him trapped.

He whined and whimpered as those fingers ran inside him, it still hurt the same but there was something about the movement that clued him in that this was a dream. The pain ebbed a little as the hand moved away, before he heard a sound he had dreaded since he was 12.

A moan, long and low from above him. Then the pain was back, excruciating, and Kurt fought with all his might to get out from underneath this man, but it no use he was stuck.

He felt like he couldn't breath as the man leaned down and ran a slimy tongue across his neck, before bringing those large rough hands to his hips and flipping him over.

Kurt could smell the pillow his face was buried in, could feel those hands holding him open, could feel every painful push of those hips against his own.

He cried out into the pillow, the sound still sounding like it hadn't come from him. The man behind him planted a hand into the middle of his back and the movements became faster.

Kurt could feel the sensation of something tearing in him, could feel the squishy warm wetness seeping from him, running down his legs as the pain became unbearable. He opened his mouth to scream-

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt shot up from the bed with a choked scream, before his voice broke and a horrified gasping breath left him. His movement and the force of his yell woke the body next to him, who had scrambled to sit up too, but Kurt couldn't bear to look to see who it was, fearing it would be the same face from his nightmare.

A hand came to rest on his shoulder, but Kurt cried out with surprise and shifted away quickly, before promptly falling off the edge of the bed and landing with a thump on the floor. He gagged a little as his mind reeled with the memories of his dream and he scrambled up quickly to run to the open bathroom door.

He slammed the door behind him, quickly moving to the toilet and letting go. The vomit burned his throat as it forcibly pushed out, his hands tightened on the side of the bowl, knuckles turning white with the grip. His stomach was still convulsing after a few minutes, and Kurt knew that he wouldn't be able to eat anything in the morning.

As he flushed the remnants of his stomach from the bowl of the toilet, he heard a quiet tentative sounding knock on the door. His head whipped around to see the handle jiggle and he quickly reached out to lock the door, before scrambling backwards and resting his back against the side of the bath tub.

He caught his breath as he put his head in his hands, trying to remember where he was.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine was jolted awake with a loud scream from next to him, and he sat up groggily next to Kurt, who was shaking and gasping, his face pale. Blaine was worried and reached out a hand to place on the clammy shoulder, asking him if he was alright.

As soon as the skin of his hand met with the cold, sweaty skin of Kurt's shoulder, Kurt's whole body jerked backwards so quickly, causing Blaine to pull his hand away as though he had been burned. With a yell Kurt had fallen off of the bed and then Blaine heard him gagging on the floor before he ran to the bathroom, slamming the door with a loud thunk behind him.

Blaine had quickly throw the duvet cover off of himself and scrambled over to the bathroom door, hearing the sounds of Kurt being sick, between sobs and harsh breathing. He had no idea what was going on. His brain was still waking up, and he felt a little confused about what had happened.

He gently reached out to knock softly on the door, before trying the handle. He heard a quick scrabble on the floor behind the door and then the lock clicked into place. He was a little shocked that Kurt would lock him out, but if his boyfriend was stuck in a memory, then he had no idea who it was on the outside trying to get in.

He sucked in a breath, and then leaned against the door, waiting patiently for Kurt to calm down himself to understand where he was, and who he was with. But he became worried after a few minutes of no movement or any sound at all.

He knocked again.

"Kurt? Honey, will you let me in?" He called through it, he placed his ear against the wood of the door, trying to hear what Kurt was doing, but he couldn't hear anything, "Kurt, please."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt shook as he pressed his palms to his eyes, trying to calm his body as it convulsed, his stomach and throat both burning because of being sick. There was another knock but he ignored it, until a soft voice cut through the raging fear in his head.

"Kurt, please." 

It was the last phrase that pushed through the cloud over his mind, and Kurt took in a breath before remembering what had happened. 

It was a bad dream, and awful dream. 

But he wasn't there, Marcus was dead, he was with Blaine.

This is Blaine's bathroom, Blaine is worried and outside the door. Kurt had locked the door.

with another few calming deep breaths, Kurt moved from his position on the floor, and shuffled over to unlock the bathroom door, hearing the click and then seeing the handle move. Watching it shot a little fear through him, but he pushed it down as soon as he saw those big, sleepy, worried looking hazel eyes of his sleep rumpled boyfriend.

"Oh honey," Blaine said softly, but didn't reach for him and Kurt knew it was because he knew Kurt would pull away while his whole body clamed down, "did you have a nightmare?"

"I was back at M- his house." Kurt explained in a rough voice, his throat still hurt after vomiting, and he winced and placed a hand over it.

Blaine watched him for a moment, before moving towards the sink and filling a glass with water, handing it to Kurt with an understanding look. Kurt tried to smile but it fell short, as it took the water and drank it. The soothing feeling of the cold water, over his abused throat felt a lot better, but he knew his voice would suffer from that for a while.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked softly, taking the glass from Kurt's hand and Kurt shook his head.

"No," Kurt said his throat convulsing a little with the effort to talk, he was right it hurt to talk, and his voice was a little rougher, "I- wanna..."

At the small pause and a grimace from Kurt, Blaine knew not to ask anymore questions because it hurt him to talk, and Blaine didn't want him to hurt anymore.

"Why don't you brush your teeth and have another glass of water," Blaine offered and Kurt nodded, "while I go and get some ice-cream for your throat."

Kurt's lips tilted at that, and he watched Blaine leave, his boyfriend only lingering worriedly in the doorway for a second and with a sigh, Kurt turned to brush his teeth.

Why now? When everything seemed to be moving forward, why did he have to go back again? He hadn't had a nightmare for months.

He rinsed his mouth with mouthwash, which hurt but he felt a little better after that, and sipped at the water again while he went out to the little kitchen where Blaine was waiting with a tub of vanilla and two spoons. Kurt smiled a little when Blaine offered one spoon to him, and they both sat down at the table. 

It was silent while they shared the ice-cream, and Kurt knew he needed to talk about it, and he also knew that Blaine wouldn't push the subject, but maybe he needed another appointment with his therapist first.


	26. Chapter 26

Kurt didn't know why he was nervous, he had been in Dr Patel's office before. She was a kind lady, only about 10 years older than Kurt, and a professional therapist who's main patients were sufferers of mental and physical abuse. 

She was small and slim, her skin was smooth and light brown, her eyes a dark shade of green. Her eyes were kind and her smile showed off a perfect row of white teeth. She always wore a dark shade of pink lip gloss but the rest of her face had no makeup, and her hair was always pulled back into a little ponytail. She wore glasses and was always in a multi-coloured dress, whatever the weather.

Kurt had found her a little over 3 years ago, here in New York, while he had been having a lot of trouble settling in.

She eventually got his full story out of him, and had helped him deal with a lot of his earlier problems. 

He hadn't seen her for months now though, nearly 8 in fact, and she watched as he came in the door, wringing his hands a little nervously. As he sat on the couch though she gave him a kind smile before taking out her files and notebook.

Kurt stared across the room before having the courage to look at her, and she raised an eyebrow but said nothing, writing down in her pad before crossing her legs and leaning towards him.

"Why did you come back to see me today, Kurt?" She asked in her gentle tone, which was one of the many reasons that Kurt had decided she was the one he was sticking with, her kind and gentle voice.

He took a deep breath and sighed, expelling a little of his nerves before placing his hands in his lap and turning to her.

"I had a very vivid nightmare." He told her, which she wrote down before looking back up to him.

"About your abuse?" She asked and Kurt nodded slowly.

"Yes."

"And you haven't had one for how long?"

"2 months, at least."

"Has anything stressed you out lately?"

"Not really, everything has been good."

"I see," she nodded to herself and wrote down his answers, her pen squiggles were kind of a comfort to Kurt's nervousness, and he found himself relaxing a little in the couch, "how's your relationship?"

"It's great, Blaine has been fantastic and so understanding." He told her with a wistful smile on his face, and she gave him a big grin.

"Wonderful, and how's school?"

"I just had an art gallery showcase, and met one of my idols. Daniel Schoman."

"Well done Kurt, that's exciting."

"Yeah." He said trying and failing to give her a grin, and she narrowed her gaze but not in a judgemental way, more trying to figure out what emotion he was emitting.

"You don't seem too happy right now." She pointed out and Kurt gave a small shrug.

"I'm not," he admitted, "I mean- why did I have another one now? I don't understand, I thought I was past it."

"What happened to you when you were young, it was traumatic, and it's not something people just get past Kurt. You are doing very well."

"It doesn't feel like it now." he said sadly, with a shake of his head, "Shouldn't I be moving on with my life? Instead, all I get are these dreams, and I relive that nightmare in...HIS house."

"Still can't say his name?" She asked without any judgement, because she had known from the start what kind of triggers Kurt had for horrifying flashbacks.

"No."

"What about when other people use it?"

"It still shocks me I guess, so nobody says it."

"Ok." 

Kurt watched her as she scribbled again in her notebook, and he took another deep breath. She glanced up at him over her tiny glasses and waited patiently.

"Will it be like this forever?" He asked quietly, and she only raised an eyebrow before finishing what she was writing before turning back to him with a small smile.

"The thing about traumatic experiences is, that they never really leave us, we just learn to live with them and not them control us." She said quietly, and Kurt nodded as he stared down at his hands, fiddling with his thumbs, "You must have been shocked about his death?"

Kurt started at that, and looked up at her with wide eyes. She was just waiting patiently for an answer, not that she ever told Kurt he should answer, but he found himself unable to keep anything from this lady.

"I was a little."

"How did it make you feel?" She asked as she took up her pen again, beginning to scribble more in her pad.

"No different."

"And what's the situation with your medication? You're on a lower dose, do you think you need to go back up?"

"I don't want to," Kurt said adamantly, and she nodded, "do you think I should?"

"How have you been sleeping, apart from this incident?"

"Ok."

"Ok?" She asked with a raised eyebrow and Kurt almost laughed at her comical looking facial expression.

"Sleep has always been difficult for me, and I think the lower meds, and Blaine, has been helping a lot more."

"I see." She nodded her acceptance of his explanation and then placed her pen and pad down on her desk next to her, before clasping her hands together and giving Kurt a tentative look, "Can I be blunt?"

"S-sure."

"Have you had sex with Blaine?" She asked and Kurt bit his lip, a little uncomfortable with the question but ultimately answering.

"Erm...no, n-not that I haven't tried."

"Is it difficult to get to that point?" She asked again bluntly and Kurt could feel the heat rush to his cheeks, "The warm up I mean."

"No, when we're...kissing and other things, it's so easy to get lost in the feel of him, because he's everything I ever imagined in a boyfriend." Kur explained with a small smile and she smiled back.

"And when it comes to the actual sex?" She asked again and he frowned.

"I freeze...my anxiety kicks in and I push him away."

"Hm," She hummed a little and he could see the wheels turning in her mind, while he waited for her to deduce something, "being blunt again Kurt, but have you touched yourself?"

"Meaning?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you masturbate?"

"I- erm...no."

"Why not?" She asked a little more softly, politely and he shrugged as he glanced around the room.

"I'm not sure...lack of confidence...erm-not being able to separate my own touches from his?"

"Are you asking me?" She said with a small smile which then made him laugh a little.

"I guess I really don't have an answer. But the meds seriously affected my libido too, so I've never felt the urge."

"You didn't ever have an erection while you were taking the medication?"

"No."

"Ok," She sat back a little and placed her arms across her chest, watching him with a calculating look, "and that has changed I hope?"

"Yes, I get them now. Though sometimes it's still a little bit of a shock."

"And you've never tried to touch?"

"No."

"Ok, well I think maybe you have intimacy issues, and I don't blame you. But the human mind and body work on different wavelengths, the body pushes itself to feel better, where as the mind takes a lot more time. So I will ask you to work on one thing for me."

"Yes?" He asked a little hesitantly and she gave him a small smile.

"Touch yourself. You need to build up the affiliation of pleasure under your own control, but don't push it. Would that be ok as a task?"

"You want me to jerk off?" He asked a little bluntly and she gave him a small laugh.

"I want you to try." she said with a smile, "But, do not make it a big thing...if at any point you feel it isn't something you like, then it's time to stop and to relax. There is no timetable for your own pleasure, whenever you get there is up to you."

"Ok." He nodded feeling like he could try this task of hers, if it could help his mind heal.

"I'm proud of how far you have come, Kurt, don't forget this time last year you could barely touch my hand." She reminded him as she held out her hand for him to shake, and he did with another grin.

"I know."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

He had told Blaine about his therapist appointment, and what she had given him as a task, and Kurt could swear that Blaine's brain disappeared half way through his explanation. And he had smirked to himself as he watched his boyfriend stumble over his words.

"So when will you be trying that?" He had asked, and Kurt had given him an incredulous look.

"It won't be a spectator sport Blaine."

That had been 3 days ago, and Kurt had some time to himself today.

Rachel was out, having lunch with some of her theater friends from Nyada, and so Kurt decided that maybe he had a few hours to himself to try this out. He had a shower, relaxing his muscles with the hot water, and quickly dried off before he decided the best place to do it would be his bed.

He lay there for a few minutes thinking about how to start, but nothing was happening so he tried to think of some sexy thoughts. Like his boyfriend. Yeah, that could work.

Blaine's bare chest, the trail of hair that led from his belly button to the waistband of his jeans. His eyes, when they turned dark when he was turned on. Kurt closed his eyes and pictured his boyfriend perfectly, beginning to feel the pull of arousal deep in his stomach.

He pictured himself licking across the top of Blaine's jeans, from one hip to the other, laving his tongue softly over every curve and bump of Blaine's abdomen. He pictured those tight muscles under his hands, could feel the soft warmth of the skin in his fingertips.

He could feel the stirring in his abdomen, and the heat rushed south when he thought back to the time he had Blaine's cock in his grip. He could picture the ghost feeling of the flesh warm, solid and silky smooth in his palm, his fingers clenched in the sheets of his bed. 

He let himself get lost in that image, Blaine's face as he came, the breaths coming from him rapidly as he calmed down. Kurt's own erection was hard now, and aching to be touched. He slowly moved his own hand down from his chest, moving over the bumps and curves of his own abdominal muscles, imaging it was Blaine's hand. 

He gasped a little as his fingers brushed the heated flesh of his cock, and slowly but surely wrapped his fingers around it. He toyed around with the grip on himself, going from soft and gentle to hard, and then back again.

He moaned a little breathily to himself and used his other hand to touch over his chest, flicking a nipple with his thumb, causing his whole body to shiver in anticipation, before gripping himself in hand again.

The saliva that had pooled in his mouth was swallowed quickly, a loud gulp echoing in his empty room and he started stroking, softly at first. His toes curled in the bed sheets and he could feel the pleasure building in his abdomen.

Who knew it could feel like this?

There was no rush, that was what his therapist told him. He just needed to get used to bringing himself pleasure, something he hadn't ever done. He licked his lips as his thumb grazed over the tip, and he paused a little, fascinated to find his thumb slipping through warm pre-come. 

He angled his hand down again, dragging his thumb through the warm liquid and pulling it down the shaft, making his glide a little more slippery. The pleasure kicked up a notch, and he turned his head to the side, burying his face into his own pillow.

His hand moved a little faster up and over, using his palm to capture more fluid and then back down again, his fingers flexing around his cock, dragging the skin up and down with the movement. He pushed his head back into the pillow and gasped as he tightened his fist around his cock, tingling at the sensation crawling up his spine.

It was ecstasy, he found, touching himself so intimately like this. The rhythm of his hand sped up again, as he crawled closer to the finish line, gathering more and more pre-come as it appeared and smearing it over his hand. The slippery sensation of it was heady, and he gasped again as his thumb caught the ridge just underneath the head of his cock, pleasure spiking a little.

He placed his feet down onto his bed, a better angle to move his hips up and down with his hand, thrusting into his fist as it descended. God, this was incredible.

As his movement became faster, and his hips stuttered, he began to get a warm feeling in his chest, that spread over his neck and up into his face, the tingly feeling in his spine pooled low in his stomach and he jerked upwards as he came. He moaned low and long as he pumped himself through the feeling, not willing to stop but knowing that it was over.

He raised his hand as he opened his eyes, and looked down at the mess that had splashed across his own stomach and wrist, before sighing contentedly and laying back into the mattress.

"Wow." was all he could breathe out breathlessly, and he didn't have the energy to move for a few minutes, just laying and basking in the afterglow of his pleasure.

He smiled to himself when he became more coherent, and then chuckled as he got up to go and clean himself off. That had felt really good, and it was nice to know that he didn't have any trouble performing on his own. At least it was a step in the right direction.


	27. Chapter 27

"What did you just say?" Kurt asked as he looked over the back of the couch at Rachel who was standing in the entrance to the kitchen, with a shy smile on her face.

"I said, Finn asked me out on a date." She said a little nervously, biting her lip as Kurt just stared at her.

"Oh," He said, and then turned on the couch, disturbing Blaine who had been sleeping with his head on his lap, making him sit up next to him, "why would you feel I needed to know that piece of information?"

"Well, I know how it affected you with Finn being around, and I just wanted to run it past you." She said and he smiled a little at her, glancing at Blaine's sleepy face before getting up to walk around the couch.

"Thank you, Rach, but you don't need my blessing," he said as he approached her, opening his arms as she squealed and hugged him, "as long as you're happy."

"I am." She squeaked with a big grin.

"That's all that counts."

"So you're going to be fine with Finn being around a lot more?" She asked and Kurt nodded.

"Of course."

"Great, well I'm going to go and get ready, we leave at 7." She said as she walked around him, the big smile never leaving her face as she walked to her room.

Kurt turned back to Blaine, who was rubbing his eyes, which Kurt thought was adorable, and he tilted his head as he watched him. Blaine had been out the night before with friends of his that had been in the city, friends he had known from high school, and he had asked Kurt to go, but Kurt declined politely telling Blaine to go and spend time with his boys.

He got home pretty late, and then carried on celebrating with his friends until early morning, so when he had shown up for their regular movie night, he had fallen asleep half way through on Kurt's lap. Kurt never minded he liked the closeness of their relationship, and also it gave him some much needed time to play with the curls on Blaine's head.

He grinned as he made his way over to the couch, leaning over the back of it t plant a kiss on the top of the black curls he loved so much, causing his boyfriend too smile up at him sleepily.

"Hey," Blaine said between a yawn, and shook his head trying to rid himself of sleep, "sorry I dozed off."

"Dozed?" Kurt said with a laugh, "you were passed out baby."

"Sorry."

"It's ok." Kurt said as he walked around the couch, to place himself next to his still sleep warm and cozy boyfriend.

"Did I hear Rachel say she was going on a date with Finn?" He asked as he snuggled against Kurt's side, and Kurt chuckled at the cuteness.

"Yep, didn't you see it coming? I did."

"Yeah," Blaine replied with a grin, "they have been pretty sickly together."

"Like us?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow and Blaine turned to grin at him.

"Nope, we're a lot cuter."

As Kurt grinned back at him, Blaine's hand crept to the back of his head to pull their lips together, but as soon as their lips touched they heard a high pitched scream come from Rachel's room and they both bolted up and off the couch and ran to see what had happened.

As they both burst through the door and into her room, she shrieked again as she covered up her breasts with one arm, causing them both to shriek too and quickly cover their eyes, she squawked indignantly for a second about privacy, but Kurt ignored her as he started looking around for what she had screamed at. Blaine flushed slightly and turned his head as Rachel glared at both of them before grabbing her gown and covering herself.

"What happened?!" Kurt asked and she pointed over in the corner of her wardrobe with a horrified face, and he went to investigate, while Blaine stood by the door.

"What is it?" Blaine asked from the doorway and Rachel moved to stand behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder which he covered with his own, as they both watched Kurt rooting around in her wardrobe.

"It was a roach!" Rachel screeched from behind him and Blaine put a finger in the ear that she nearly deafened.

Kurt was rummaging around in the bottom of the wardrobe and then screeched himself before pulling his head back out, holding a small insect in his hand. He glared over at Rachel and made to open the window, still holding the small wriggling creature between his fingers.

"Rachel, it's a grasshopper." He said as he threw the bug back outside, and it wouldn't happen if you closed your window at night."

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief, he hated roaches. Kurt came back to stand beside them and Rachel had a small uncomfortable look on her face as she moved out from behind Blaine, pointedly looking at both of them, before gesturing to herself which was only slightly covered by her robe.

Kurt rolled his eyes and dragged Blaine back out of her room, and shut the door.

"So that just happened." Blaine said with a look of shock still on his face and Kurt turned to him.

"I've seen her in less than that, trust me." Kurt replied and they both shook their heads as they made their way back to the couch.

"I guess with you guys sharing an apartment, you're bound to see something." Blaine said with a shrug and Kurt turned to him with a look of horror.

"More than something, and I don't ever want to repeat it."

Blaine laughed at that and grabbed Kurt in his arms, flinging them both back into the cushions. 

"Don't worry, I'll shield you next time." Blaine said as he placed his chin on Kurt's chest, gazing up at him with a cheeky smile.

"And who will shield you?" Kurt asked with his own smirk and Blaine shuddered a little.

"You're right, I don't ever want to see boobs ever again." 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Lara this is Blaine, Blaine this is my friend Lara." Kurt introduced his boyfriend to his class mate, watching happily as they shook hands.

Lara had messaged him about meeting up for coffee, like they used to do every break time from college, and he couldn't refuse because he had missed talking to her, and being around her. She was funny and a little snarky, and never failed to make him smile or laugh. She was one of his only real friends at college so he invited Blaine along to meet her, which his boyfriend accepted happily.

"It's nice to finally meet you Lara, Kurt showed me your work at the gallery and it was awesome." Blaine told her and she gave him a smile, flicking her newly bright blue hair behind her ear.

"Aw thanks Blaine, it's nice to finally meet this boyfriend he kept going on about." She said as Kurt glared at her playfully while Blaine laughed, before she turned to Kurt, "And you, Mr Spectacular, I heard that Daniel Schoman really loved your work."

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it." Kurt said as he shook his head and they all sat down at the table closest to them.

"You deserve it Kurt," she said while she placed a hand over his, exchanging a smile with him, before she patted her purse and stood, "drink anyone?"

"Let me get them." Blaine quickly stood and placed a hand on her arm as she tried to protest and giving both of them a smile before wandering off to the counter of the coffee shop, calling over his shoulder, "Be right back."

"He's cute." Lara said as they both watched him go, and Kurt sighed.

"He is."

"How long have you guys been together now?"

"About 9 months so far." Kurt told her with a smile and she raised her eyebrows at him.

"Going well? Getting serious?"

"Serious? I guess so, I love him." Kurt said with a shrug and a little laugh, and she grinned again.

"Aw that's so sweet, it's nice to see you happy, Kurt."

"Thanks." he said with a small embarrassed flush to his cheeks, "How about you? Last I heard you and Frankie were dating?"

"It didn't work out, I mean she was sweet and nice, but we weren't right."

"I'm sorry honey, I hope you find the one for you." he said as he placed a hand over hers, and she laughed a little.

"Thanks."

Blaine appeared by their side, holding three cups in his hands, giving them both a grin as he sat down.

"Here we are, drink m'lady." he said as he slid Lara hers and she chuckled.

"Thank you, kind sir." she replied teasingly, and Blaine gave her a smile before sliding Kurt's over to him.

"My love."

"Thanks baby." Kurt said as he leaned over to place a little kiss on Blaine's cheek.

"You guys are so adorable. Really adorable, its sickeningly cute."

"Lara, you saw the nude portrait I did for class right?" Kurt asked a little too innocently and Blaine looked over at him a little shocked at first but then rolled his eyes as a blush made its way across his face.

"Yeah I-...." she started and then gasped, "oh my god, it was you."

Blaine laughed a little uncomfortably as Lara looked him up and down, and then she grinned over at Kurt.

"Jeez Hummel, way to go babe." She said and then shared a small high five with Kurt and they both laughed at Blaine's playful glare aimed their way.

After talking to Lara about school, and then about Blaine's own school, and his performances. Kurt just listened for the most part as they spoke, a smile on his face, knowing that they were getting along. After a while Lara had to go to work, but she wanted to meet up more often and have coffee with both of them, which they both agreed to. 

Blaine turned to him when Lara walked out and gave him a big grin.

"She's something."

"One of the only real friends I made on my own here in New York." Kurt agreed with him and Blaine sighed a little.

"Maybe you should put yourself out there, make more friends."

"You getting sick of me already?" He asked a little sarcastically, and Blaine gave him a serious look.

"I will never get sick of you," he said and Kurt paused his smirk and dropped it as Blaine stared into his eyes, "now that I'm in your life, I don't want to be anywhere else. And I know that we've only been together a little while, but I don't think I would do very well not being with you."

Kurt gave him a shy smile as Blaine reached for one of his hands and threaded their fingers together.

"I never want you out of my life either," Kurt responded quietly, "and I know that might be a selfish thing to say, but its true. I don't think I could go back to how things were before, you make life seem so much brighter."

"You do too. I love you Kurt."

"I love you too Blaine."


	28. Chapter 28

Kurt's life took a hectic turn as the summer approached. He was spending more time by himself, his work had booked him for more hours because somebody else had left, and school work was also piling up as their finals came upon them. When he wasn't at work or school, he was spending time working on some pieces of his art again, for hours at a time. 

Blaine's classes were also getting a little harder, and he and Rachel were exhausted at the end of each day, especially because they both worked too. 

Kurt didn't mind having some time alone, he actually liked it. But he did miss Blaine's company. They both knew that they couldn't be together most of the time over the next couple of months, they knew they both had to work hard for school. It still didn't erase the fact that they missed each other.

Blaine constantly texted him, and they spent hours just being on the phone to each other, sometimes silent and sometimes talking, but it was comforting to know his boyfriend missed spending time with him. And if phone calls and texts were all they could do for now, then so be it.

As of right now, they were connected by their phones again, as Kurt tried to finish another still life drawing, while Blaine was going through his list for an upcoming dance class.

"I don't know if this is going to work," his voice sounded from the phone on the table in front of Kurt, "how do they expect us to complete all these moves."

"What moves?" Kurt asked while still sketching and he heard Blaine sigh.

"Well obviously there is generic moves, like the kick ball change and the slide, but there is a tap move, plus some jazz ones in there...I mean if I practice maybe I can find a way to get through them all."

"Can't you look up YouTube videos and practice?" Kurt asked when Blaine's voice sounded a little stressed.

"I did, I'm not very well coordinated with some of them." Blaine said and Kurt frowned as he started shading one piece of the drawing.

"Aw honey, don't despair about it, I'm sure you'll get there." he said gently and another sigh came through the phone.

"Hm, how's the still life drawing coming?"

"It's still just a sketch right now." Kurt blanched a little, and then erased a mistake he made, and Blaine hummed down the line.

"When does the portfolio have to be submitted?"

"Monday."

"Not long."

"Nope not long at all," Kurt agreed with a sigh of his own, he had no idea why this was so stressful, and the fact that he kept making mistakes meant his hand was probably getting tired, "plus there is an advanced computer graphics thing that I need to do, but I have to stay late at school on Friday to do it."

"So I can't ask you for a date this weekend?" Blaine asked quietly, sounding a little disappointed and Kurt felt like his stomach just dropped, and he frowned again and shook his head.

"I'm sorry honey, no can do this week." he said apologetically and Blaine was silent for a while before he spoke again.

"Well, at least we'll have the summer together huh?"

"Of course." Kurt attempted to smile but it fell short.

"I need to go and try and get these moves perfected...call you tomorrow?" Blaine said regretfully, and Kurt looked down at his schedule sheet before he answered.

"I'm at work until 12, then I have class until 4." As he explained he heard Blaine's short little puff of air that meant he was upset.

"I have my night class from 5, guess I'll speak to you about 4:30?" He asked and Kurt felt a little upset that they couldn't even spend any time together.

"That could work." He eventually agreed and Blaine sighed again, before he made a kissing sound that made Kurt smile.

"Ok, I love you."

"Love you too, good luck."

As he hung up the phone he slumped back in his chair. he was starting to feel a little weary now that the pressure had gone up, and not spending time with his boyfriend was really affecting his mood.

He snapped at Rachel this morning when she was singing, although she did pick 5am to start her exercises for class. He was already irritable and now that Blaine was expecting a date that couldn't happen this week, he felt his mood darken even more.

There wasn't anything he could do, Blaine was taking a few night classes to pass acting class, and Kurt was so busy with his won schedule he really didn't know if they would be able to spend any amount of significant time together within the next two weeks.

Stress. Anxiety. They had both gone up, and Kurt found himself unable to sleep some nights. It was all working towards his final grade but he just wished it wasn't so damn hard.

Rachel walked in about an hour later, and to avoid snapping at her again, Kurt moved his art supplies back into his bedroom. Avoidance was better that fake apologies.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt paced as Blaine's upset and angry sounding voice came through the phone, he had been pacing his room as they argued. Their first argument in quite a while, but Kurt had never heard Blaine this upset before.

"I'm just supposed to drop everything because you want me, and you can't even make time in your busy schedule to see your own boyfriend." Blaine yelled sarcastically and Kurt placed one hand on his head as he turned to glare at his phone.

"I never asked you to drop everything for me," Kurt spat back at him with a roll of his eyes, "I'm so sorry that my trauma is such an inconvenience to you, Blaine."

"Don't make this about that, Kurt ok? It has nothing to do with that, we haven't seen each other in over two weeks, and I know we've both been busy, but aren't I a priority in your life?"

"You can't ask me to stop everything I'm doing because you miss me alright!" Kurt shouted, and Blaine made a grunt of disapproval, "I miss you too, but class is getting busy, and I need to do this."

"Not like my classes are any different, but I would like to factor in time for my relationship." Blaine said angrily and Kurt groaned as he placed his hand over his eyes.

"So would I, but it's impossible right now."

"No its not, you're just avoiding conflict with your teachers, I'm sure skipping one assignment won't affect your grade that much."

"Blaine, this is important to me." Kurt said quietly and he heard a humorless laugh come from his boyfriend.

"I thought I was too."

"You are." Kurt said a little too loudly and it only caused Blaine to become even more angry, if the growl down the line was anything to go by.

"Well it doesn't seem like it." Blaine spat out and then sighed and added in a quiet and resigned voice, "Look, fine, do what you gotta do, I have to go." 

Kurt flailed a little not knowing what to say.

"Blaine-" Kurt started but his boyfriend had already hung up and he growled as the frustration built up again.

He knew it was stress that was making them both irritable, and he knew that deep down Blaine was upset, just like he was, about not seeing each other for a while. But Kurt couldn't drop anything right now, his portfolio was almost complete he just needed a little more time to put things together.

He knew that Blaine wasn't as angry as he was disappointed, but it didn't help being yelled at.

He dropped down onto his bed and his phone dinged with an incoming text and he sighed as he picked it up. It was from Blaine.

'I'm so sorry baby, for everything I said...I just miss you :('

Kurt frowned at his phone and then opened a reply.

'I'm sorry too. And I miss you too :('

That was it for the rest of the day, Blaine didn't text or call after that, and Kurt felt a little disheartened. He hoped that by this time next week, when everything was less stressful that they could just get past this and get back to normal.

Although their relationship was very loving, Kurt knew that they had problems. Everyone did, and his relationship with Blaine was buckling under the stress of school right now.

When night time rolled around, Kurt didn't emerge from his room, he sat on his bed going over and over the conversation. He had to make it right, he just had to...but how?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine was at a loss of what to do. He didn't mean to blow up at Kurt, but he finally had a little bit of time in his schedule and he had wanted to spend time with Kurt, maybe go on a date, kiss him, touch him, hug him. Actually talk to him face to face.

But when Kurt had told him that he had no time for him, everything came tumbling down again and tight knot of anger formed in his gut. He had taken out his stress on his boyfriend, and he didn't mean to. He knew that none of them were in their right minds right now, school was stressful and work was intense.

But Kurt threw his trauma back at him, which made Blaine incredibly guilty and sad. He would always run to Kurt, when and if he needed him, he knew he would. and in his mind maybe it had come off as Kurt being selfish, but the stress made the anger burn a lot brighter than before.

He sighed as he kicked his chair in the little kitchen, watching it topple over before bending to pick it back up.

He sent Kurt a text, apologizing for his behaviour, because whether they argued or not, or threw hurtful things at each other, Kurt was still the man he fell in love with. And after receiving the same in reply he sat down and let his shoulders slump slightly.

He ended up falling asleep with his head in his arms on the table, and was late to class the next day.

Class was hard, and because of the stress of the day before, Blaine wasn't really concentrating that much, which his teacher had picked up on. His relationship was rocky at best right now, and without Kurt to talk to, Blaine felt like he was a little lost.

He ended up having a long discussion with one of his teachers about hard work, and his sleep and work schedule. He left to go home for lunch, before he was due at work at 1pm, and when he got to his apartment door there was a package waiting for him outside on his doorstep.

He frowned down at it for a while, knowing that he hadn't ordered anything for a while, and then cautiously picked it up. He turned it over in his hands, noticing that there wasn't a return address or even a name on it, and took it inside.

He opened it slowly, fearing that something may jump out of it, but as he pulled the lid away he gasped. It was a drawing, but it almost looked like a photograph. It was him and Kurt, Kurt's face was turned towards Blaine's, they were both smiling. It looked exactly like them, and it made Blaine smile widely to see Kurt's eyes looking at the Blaine in the picture with such love and affection.

Blaine noticed that there was something else in the box and pulled out a paper heart, but the heart was coloured with words instead of solid colour.

He turned it around in his hand as he read the sentence that spiralled around it.

'You told me once that your favourite colour was blue, but mine is and always will be...you, I love you with all my heart and it hurts whenever we're apart. The only thing that gets me through each day, is knowing that at some point I will see your face.'

The poem struck a chord in his heart, and he laughed a little at the corny words, before picking up his phone. As it rang, he tried and failed to get his own emotions under control. He knew that Kurt would have spent hours on this present for him, and in a way, it was taken as Kurt fighting for them, even though they couldn't be together.

The phone line connected and Blaine felt his lips split into a grin.

"Baby, I'm so in love with you, it's unreal." Blaine said with a croaky voice before Kurt could say anything, and he heard a sad but relieved sounding sigh from his boyfriend.

"I just wanted you to know that you're important to me, and also that I'm sorry about what happened, of course you're a priority to me, but so is school. I'm just trying to get this over with so that we can spend time together without added stress." Kurt explained and Blaine could hear the emotion clouding his voice, and tears built up in his eyes.

"It's ok, Kurt, I know. And I am so sorry about what I said." 

"Well I spent all night and day working on my portfolio," Kurt said, sounding a little better, "and it's ready to hand in on Monday, so what do you say we have a date night on Sunday?"

"I would love that." Blaine said as the tears fell from his eyes, sliding gently down his cheeks, but the smile on his face disturbed their path, and he wiped them away softly as he laughed quietly at himself.

"You ok?" Kurt's voice asked a little worriedly.

"I am now."


	29. Chapter 29

Sunday couldn't come soon enough. Kurt was ready for his date, and after not having seen Blaine's face in person for over two weeks, he was excited. He made sure he was ready for the knock on the door, wearing a black fitted shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a grey vest over the top, and dark blue skinny jeans. His black ankle length boots finished the outfit, and he made sure his face and ears didn't have any of his piercings in, except for his lip, because he knew Blaine loved that one, and his hair was sprayed into submission on top of his head in a messy looking coif.

He checked himself one last time in the mirror, and nodded to himself with a smile before the knock came on the door.

"Kurt did you want me to-"

"I'll get it Rach!" he called out to her and almost ran across the apartment in his haste to get to the door. 

He swung it open to reveal his boyfriend, wearing a white cardigan over a dark grey shirt, with a red tie and red jeans, looking absolutely stunning but Kurt could only focus on Blaine's face, which held a big smile for him, and the roses in his boyfriend's hand.

He couldn't wait any longer and moved the flowers aside so that he didn't crush them before slamming his chest into Blaine's, along with their lips, framing Blaine's face with both of his hands. His boyfriend stumbled but regained his balance and threw his arms around his waist as he kissed back.

Almost immediately after Blaine began to kiss him back, Kurt's tongue ran along his boyfriend's bottom lip, causing Blaine's lips to open automatically. Kurt moaned and tightened his grip on Blaine's face, shoving his tongue into his mouth, causing Blaine to moan too, as their tongues slid together.

They stumbled again as Blaine pushed Kurt around to push his back up against the door, and deepened the kiss a little more. Kurt moved his hands from his face and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck tightly, keeping their mouths entangle together, the only hand Blaine had free wandered down to Kurt's ass and squeezed.

Kurt groaned again, and then they both smiled which broke their kiss a little, but they didn't pull apart, gasping and breathing into each other's mouths, until Rachel cleared her throat behind them.

They reluctantly pulled apart and took in deep breaths while they glanced over at her with smiles on their faces. She was smiling too, but her smile was a little uncomfortable with watching their display. Kurt unwrapped his arms and then Blaine offered him the roses, clearing his throat before speaking.

"This are for you, my love."

"Thank you." Kurt replied as he took them and bit his lip as he brought them to his nose.

He moved aside to let Blaine into the apartment before moving into the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase. Rachel smiled brightly at Blaine, who returned it with a nod. She wiggled her eyebrows a little and he laughed before Kurt returned, eager to go on their date.

"Bye Rach," Kurt called back over his shoulder as he grabbed his black jacket on the way out, "don't wait up!"

Rachel giggled as she heard their joined laughter echoing down the hall.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine and Kurt held hands all the way to the diner where Kurt was taking them for a late dinner. EH didn't feel like doing anything fancy, and Blaine didn't seem to mind either, they had both missed each other too much to be worried about where they had their date. As long as they were together, everything was fine.

Kurt scrunched his nose up a little when Blaine ordered a greasy burger, but Blaine only laughed at his face and ordered one for Kurt as well, despite the eye roll he received in return.

They held hands across the small table, while they ate, not willing to let the other go just yet. It was a little difficult not having both hands but they managed, even though Kurt had to reach across and wipe ketchup off of Blaine's chin once or twice.

Their date didn't last long, as they had missed each other so much, they decided to get a cheesecake to go, and went back to Blaine's apartment, still hand in hand.

Upon entering, Kurt made his way to the couch, taking his jacket and boots off as he went and Blaine went to grab them some coffee and put the cheesecake in the refrigerator for later, before he joined him.

They didn't need words as they settled on the couch side by side, only small smiles were shared between them as their lips touched once more. Blaine was more insistent this time and Kurt found himself pushed back down into the cushions as Blaine forced his mouth to open again with his tongue. Kurt slid his hands down Blaine's back to rest on his ass, before tugging him down more.

Their bodies connected and they both let out a groan, before Kurt ripped his mouth away from his boyfriend's to breathe deeply around a gasp.

Blaine moved to suck and lick along Kurt's jawline before focusing his attention on his neck, and Kurt threaded one of his hands into Blaine's hair, tugging sharply, which made his boyfriend moan against the skin of his neck.

"Kurt.." Blaine moaned against him with that gravelly turned on voice, and Kurt felt the vibrations travel from the skin of his neck, all the way down his chest and into his stomach, which roiled pleasantly with arousal.

As Blaine moved down to Kurt's collarbone just above his shirt, he rolled his hips down bringing their groins into contact and Kurt arched up into him, mouth open in a long drawn out moan. Blaine grinned against his skin and did it again, harder this time and forced more sounds from his throat

Blaine's hands ran up Kurt's sides and slowly moved to the buttons of his shirt, glancing up and catching Kurt's eye to make sure it was alright, receiving a short nod before undoing them. As he revealed small parts of the pale skin of Kurt's chest, inch by beautiful inch, he smothered it with kisses. Open mouth and hot kisses, which made Kurt's hands bury themselves into his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp with his nails.

Once the shirt was unbuttoned all the way, Blaine paused with his mouth on Kurt's stomach, the muscles underneath his lips rippling slightly. He looked back up at Kurt and asked permission with just his eyes as his hands ran over the front of his jeans.

Kurt thought back to the times they had been like this before. After his last therapy session he had taken her advice and became more comfortable touching himself.

And then after a few times he decided to try it with Blaine there. Things had become more comfortable and more pleasurable between them since then.

And although they had only traded handjobs so far, Kurt found himself wanting more and more every time.

As it was tonight, they hadn't been intimate in well over 3 weeks and he found himself excited to be trying something new, something much more intimate and exciting than what they had done.

He held eye contact with Blaine, while after a short nod and a gasped "Yes", Blaine's hand began fumbling with his jean zipper and button.

They held their heated gazes as his jeans were pulled down over his thighs, revealing the tented underwear beneath. Blaine didn't look though, those molten honey brown eyes, with pupils blown wide, still held the intense gaze of those dark blue irises above him.

Kurt smiled a little down at him when he pulled the underwear free, hissing a little as his heated flesh was exposed to the warm air surrounding them both.

Blaine smiled back at him before dipping low, and running his tongue on the underside, gliding it up and over the head before encasing it within his mouth.

Kurt tried very hard not to thrust upwards, but it was difficult to control when Blaine's mouth was so hot and wet, and the suction around him was so tight and so inviting. He canted his hips up just a little, feeling the wonderful sensation of the head of his dick reaching the back of Blaine's mouth, the heat was more intense the deeper he went.

Blaine had already previously told Kurt that he didn't have a gag reflex, because his throat muscles were always constantly working through singing and breath control, that his throat was more relaxed than when he was a teenager. Kurt thrust up again gently when Blaine's hands ran over his abdomen and across the muscled plains of his stomach, feeling his dick slipping past the fluttering muscles in Blaine's throat and sinking lower still.

"Oh god," Kurt breathed out as he watched Blaine's mouth move lower to cover him completely, chin resting against his balls, before he slowly slipped back, "honey...your mouth, it's incredible."

Blaine hummed his agreement and Kurt almost came right then and there, he groaned as he thrust up again, but Blaine was already prepared for that and sucked hard on him as he descended back into his throat.

Now Kurt couldn't stop his hips from moving, and Blaine wasn't stopping him either, he got a slow rhythm going, in and out, a constant movement with the rapid beat of his pulse. He was getting close, and could feel Blaine's throat muscles and his tongue moving around the shaft. 

"Ah, ah, ah." Was the constant noise from his mouth as Blaine bobbed his head even more with Kurt's gentle hip thrusts.

Blaine hummed again and Kurt could feel the tendrils of his orgasm spiralling in his stomach, so reluctantly he placed a hand in Blaine's curls and tugged him gently away. As his cock slowly slipped free of Blaine's mouth the air around his now wet and achingly hard erection made him hiss again.

"What?" Blaine asked a little confused of why he was stopped and Kurt only gripped his shoulders and tugged him back up so that he could plant a hard kiss on his red and slightly swollen lips.

"I was about to come, and I didn't want to yet." He explained while licking their joint saliva away from Blaine bottom lip, where it pooled slightly.

Blaine's breath hitched and he smiled.

"Ok. Now what?" He asked and then groaned as Kurt's hand ran down his chest and then to his jeans, cupping him through the material.

"Now you let me handle it." Kurt told him with a sexy smirk and Blaine nodded.

"Ok."

Kurt's hands worked with Blaine's as he removed his boyfriend's shirt and then his own, both now bare chested and Kurt licked and kissed his way from his stubbly jaw and down to his collarbone while he fumbled with Blaine's belt and then his jeans zipper.

Blaine moaned and lifted his head a little higher as Kurt sucked a lot of little marks into his skin, grinding his erection against Kurt's hand when he finally placed his hand over it above his underwear. Before long, those jeans and underwear were both pushed down his thighs and then Kurt's lips crashed back into his own.

The kiss was hard and passionate and maybe a little sloppy, but they didn't care, the only goal now was Kurt's cock touching Blaine's, frotting together while they both headed for their orgasms.

Kurt moaned into Blaine's mouth breathily, and Blaine moved his face to the side to bury it Kurt's neck again, biting gently at the skin there. Kurt threw his head back as their movements became more erratic. Blaine's hips dug into Kurt's a little painfully as they thrust into each other, Kurt's knees falling open slightly to give Blaine more room to move against him.

But the pain was overshadowed by the amount of pleasure they both got from their erections rubbing together, and as Kurt's was still covered in saliva it made them slide more easily. Blaine stiffened a little and his hips stuttered a few times, getting closer and closer to his release, but Kurt only started grabbing onto him more roughly.

Their hands were everywhere, holding each other, caressing skin, squeezing flesh and then pulling at hair. Their lips hurt from the amount of smashing and crashing together sloppily, but they didn't care.

Blaine fell over first, disconnecting his mouth from Kurt's grunting a little before a loud groan was released into Kurt's cheek, and hearing that pushed Kurt over the edge too, coming with a loud yell and then a whine as their hips kept shallowly moving together, guiding them both through the aftershocks.

Blaine recovered first as they lay in each other's arms, breathing heavily, and he started placing sloppy open mouthed kisses over Kurt's chest, encasing a nipple in his mouth before moving up to lick a stripe from the middle of Kurt's throat and up over his chin to connect their lips again.

Kurt hummed happily against Blaine's lips, melting into the affection as his hands slid gently over Blaine's sweaty back. Blaine placed a couple of pecks against his lips as he pulled away and they both smiled giddily and sleepily at each other.

"God I've missed you." Blaine breathed out and Kurt laughed.

"My name isn't god, but I'll take the compliment." 

Blaine laughed too and then placed his face into Kurt's neck again as they both lay together, nestled in their glow. Sometime after that, when the come had dried and they both realized how they must smell, they got up and moved to the bathroom to clean up before Blaine took his hand and led him to the kitchen.

They ate their cheesecake, feeding each other with the same fork, smiling dopily at the other, and once it was finished they both went back to the couch and Blaine switched on the television as Kurt snuggled into his side contentedly.

"Anything in particular you want to watch?" Blaine asked when he turned his head and placed a kiss into Kurt's hair, and Kurt just giggled.

"Oh honey, I don't really care what we watch, as long as I get to stay right here." He said and Blaine chuckled a little wrapping one arm tighter around his boyfriend.


	30. Chapter 30

Kurt, Rachel and Blaine all had their graduations at the same time, so they couldn't attend each others, but Finn was with Kurt, cheering him on as he received his certificate, and then they sat together while the head teacher gave a speech about hard work and the classes. 

Rachel had previously agreed for Finn to be there for Kurt, since she and Blaine were attending the same ceremony at their school, but they all planned to meet up for a celebration dinner later. Kurt and Lara hugged when they found each other, before she wandered off with her parents and Kurt and Finn decided to go ahead and leave together.

"Proud of you man." Finn said with a big smile and patted Kurt on the back.

"Thanks." Kurt patted him back, earning another big grin in return.

They made their way through the crowds of people back to the streets of New York, and then made their way to the subway, across the city to where they were meeting up with Rachel and Blaine very soon. It was nearing 1pm and they had all agreed to meet at a coffee house that was between Rachel and Kurt's apartment and Blaine's, at 1:30pm. Kurt really craved a caffeine boost by this point though, so as they arrived outside the place a little earlier than intended, Kurt walked inside for a drink.

Finn followed him inside and approached the counter next to him as he gave his order. Finn wasn't much of a coffee drinker, it was too bitter for him, so he just waited for Kurt to be finished before they made their way over to a table by the window so that they would spot their prospective other halves.

Kurt glanced at Finn over the top of his coffee cup, and Finn was looking almost pensive out of the window, so with a sigh he placed his cup down onto the table and cleared his throat for Finn's attention.

"Everything ok?" He asked as Finn looked back at him.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"You seem to be thinking awfully hard over there." Kurt pointed out and Finn only shrugged in response.

Kurt was patient though, he knew it would only be a minute or two before Finn let him know what was on his mind, Finn, for all his faults, was never very good at keeping his emotions hidden for very long.

"Do you think Rachel loves me?" Finn asked all of a sudden and Kurt turned to him with a raised eyebrow, "I'm sorry, that question is kind of out of the blue...but I think I'm really falling in love with her and-"

"That's great Finn, haven't you told her that?" Kurt interrupted as Finn paused, and he shook his head.

"I didn't want to say it first, but I..."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I guess...I didn't want her to have to say it back you know?" Finn said quietly with a shrug of his shoulders and his eyes moved to stare out of the window again.

"I see," Kurt gave him an understanding nod, "well I can't help you there Finn, I don't really talk about her relationship."

"Do you think I should just come out and say it?" Finn asked without looking away from the window with a nervous gaze.

"Sure, I mean if she doesn't feel the same way, then all you can do is wait, in time she will." Kurt explained a little, trying to ease his friend's mind while not giving him too much hope if everything fell flat.

"That's what I'm worried about." Finn said with a sigh and Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"That she won't feel that way." He replied sadly and Kurt looked down with a small shake of his head, he was really no good at giving advice about relationships.

"How's things going between you two?" He asked and Finn gave him a smile, his brown eyes dancing a little.

"Great, incredible actually."

"Well shouldn't that tell you what you need to know?" Kurt said with a smile in return and Finn shrugged again, causing Kurt to sigh.

This was frustrating.

"Yeah...thanks man." He said after pondering what Kurt had told him for a few seconds and Kurt gave him another smile.

"No problem."

Kurt took a deep breath in with relief that the conversation was over, he really didn't feel comfortable with offering advice in love, because his relationship with Blaine, even though they were in love, was his first. As they finished their coffee, Finn nudged him and pointed out of the window, which made both of their faces light up in smiles and they headed out to greet their other halves.

Kurt literally ran into Blaine's arms, who only just managed to catch him with a laugh. They hugged and kissed and whispered congratulations to each other, before pulling away and resting their foreheads together. 

"Can you believe it?" Blaine asked before holding Kurt close again, throwing a smile at Rachel and Finn next to them, "we're college grads now!"

"Yeah we are!" Rachel squealed happily, with Finn's arm around her shoulders, "Let's go celebrate together!"

"Actually, Rach, I was just planning on Blaine and I-"

"Oh please Kurt, you can always have a private celebration later," Rachel pleaded with him, her bottom lip pouting at him as she reached out a hand and fisted it in his jacket, "please...I hardly see you anymore."

Kurt tired as he might to tell her no, but she was right, they were all friends, and they had been through this together, maybe they should celebrate together. Besides what kind of friend would he be if he didn't go. He gave her a small smile and then shook his head at her pout.

"Fine."

"Yes!" She yelled and then hugged both him and Blaine together, before spouting off ideas of where to go for dinner.

After they all had dinner together, Finn paying for it, even though everyone protested that, Rachel had them all head to a piano bar. Kurt had never been there before and Rachel had suggested they all take part in the karaoke there, but Kurt had said no, even when she pouted at him.

They found a table towards the front, and Blaine and Finn were pushed to go first, Rachel clapping happily as Finn made his way to the stage to sing. Kurt smiled over at her, watching the light dancing around her face.

Maybe Finn didn't really see it, but Kurt did, she was in love.

They watched as Finn clumsily tried to dance around while he sang, causing quite a few people to laugh, Finn included. After the short song, he headed back and Rachel pulled him against her, smiling at him proudly. Blaine went next, taking over from the pianist and playing his own melody.

Kurt recognized the song, and he smiled gently at Blaine, who was looking back at him from the piano. Rachel and Finn were lost in each other right now, so Kurt focused all of his attention on Blaine.

"Never knew I could feel like this  
Like I've never seen the sky before,  
Want to vanish inside your kiss  
Everyday I love you more and more."

"Listen to my heart  
Can you hear it sing?  
Telling me to give you  
Everything!"

"Seasons may change  
Winter to Spring.  
But I'll love you  
Until the end of time."

Kurt sighed and placed his head on one hand, leaning on the table. He felt warm and there were tingles down his spine as Blaine sang to him. He never imagined he could ever feel this way about another person in his life, but here was the perfect guy, serenading him. 

"Come what may,  
Come what may  
I will love you  
Until my dying day!"

Rachel glanced at Kurt, and he turned his head slightly sharing a small smile with her, and then she put her head on Finn's chest as they turned back to watch the performance. 

"Suddenly the world   
seems such a perfect place,  
Suddenly it moves  
with such a perfect grace."

"Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste,  
It all revolves around you."

Blaine winked at him as he sang those lyrics and Kurt could feel his face heat up slightly.

"And there's no mountain too high  
No river too wide,  
Sing out this song and   
I'll be there by your side!"

"Storm clouds may gather   
and stars may collide...  
But I'll love you,  
Until the end of time."

"Come what may  
Come what may,  
I will love you   
Until my dying day."

"Oh come what may,  
Come what may  
I will love you...  
Oh I will love you."

"Until my dying day."

As Blaine finished the song, he made his way back over and Rachel and Finn praised his performance while Kurt just continued staring at him. Blaine became a little embarrassed by the attention Kurt was giving him and he glanced away before smiling back at him.

"What?" He asked a little self consciously and Kurt shook his head.

"Nothing," Kurt said quietly, "I just love you...until my dying day."

Blaine only smiled in return and then excused them both to Rachel, who waved them off with her own grin, before grabbing Kurt's hand and literally tugging him out of his seat. As they reached the exit, Blaine turned to engulf his boyfriend in a tight hug, placing a kiss against his cheek lightly. 

"Come home with me?" He whispered and Kurt nodded, pulling back to place a kiss on his lips.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They spent the evening in each other's arms, on the couch, watching movie after movie, and Blaine continued serenading him with different movie songs. Most of which made Kurt laugh lightly, but it didn't discourage his boyfriend from singing them, he just laughed along as he sang.

They had watched Moulin Rouge, Singing in the rain, Hocus Pocus, and a few other Disney movies. Kurt sighed into Blaine's neck as Beauty and the beast ended, and Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist even tighter as the credits rolled.

They didn't say anything for a moment, just enjoying being close, until Blaine lifted himself from the couch and disappeared. Kurt raised an eyebrow as he watched him move around the back of the couch, but he didn't say anything. He waited patiently as Blaine moved around and then slid back beside him.

He was holding something in his hand and Kurt tilted his head in question until Blaine just smiled nervously and placed the small object into Kurt's palm. Blaine closed his fingers around Kurt's hand, causing it to close around whatever was inside and then brought his knuckles to his lips to place a long sweet kiss on them.

Kurt grinned at him before Blaine released his hand and he opened it to find a small metal key.

"I've been meaning to ask you for a while, but the timing never seemed right," Blaine explained and Kurt watched his face grow more and more nervous as he stumbled over his words, it was adorable, "I don't know if you want to- well I hoped that...erm, I just needed to ask you-"

"Blaine honey, calm down." Kurt said as he placed a cooling hand over Blaine's heated cheek, and Blaine gave him a tight smile.

"I'm just nervous, I've never done this before." Blaine said quietly as he wrung his hands together, and Kurt looked at him even more confused.

"What?"

"Kurt," Blaine started again and Kurt turned to give Blaine his full attention, a calm and patient look on his face, to make Blaine feel a little less nervous, which seemed to work, "I love you so much, and I want to be a part of your life for as long as you'll let me. And I know we've only been together for nearly 10 months, but I feel as if we know each other so intimately, right down to the finest flaw and detail. I was wondering if you've given any though to us in the future."

"Well I-"

"Because I have," Blaine interrupted him, but threw Kurt an apologetic grin so Kurt let him continue, "and I wanted you to know that I always want you around, even more so now. So...will you move in with me?"

Kurt's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly. But he had heard right, because now Blaine was waiting with his own raised eyebrows and biting his lips, waiting for Kurt's answer.

Wow, was the only thought going through Kurt's head, but was this really the right move? Wouldn't it be too soon and too fast? What about Rachel? he couldn't just abandon his roommate, could he?

He was staring at Blaine's nervous face, which became even more nervous looking the longer the silence remained. But Kurt was struggling for an answer. What does he do now?


	31. Chapter 31

Kurt sat stunned for a little bit, and Blaine was still waiting patiently for an answer. He didn't want to completely shut the idea down, because moving in with Blaine would be great...but he still had an apartment and a roommate who couldn't afford to keep the place by herself.

He thought about the right words to say and then took one of Blaine's hands gently. Looking down at the key settled in his palm.

"Blaine, I really want to," Kurt started and Blaine looked a bit downtrodden at his answer, "but I have to discuss moving out with Rachel."

"Yeah, I know." Blaine replied quietly, "it's ok, I know this jut came out of nowhere."

"Well, it did, but..." Kurt grabbed both of Blaine's hands, still holding the key within them, and Blaine looked down at them with sad eyes, "I really wan to live with you, I think it would be amazing."

Blaine smiled a little, the light in his eyes rekindling a little and Kurt felt a little relieved.

"I really do need to talk to Rachel though, I can't just move out and leave her with enormous bills." Kurt finished and Blaine nodded.

"Yeah, I understand Kurt. I wasn't expecting it to be now," Blaine said as he clasped Kurt's hands within his own, looking up into his face with a big smile, "I just wanted you to know that I want this, and when you decide you do too, you're welcome to come here."

"Thank you, honey." Kurt smiled back at him sadly, but also a little happily, "shall we put this on a backburner for now and enjoy the rest of our evening?"

"what did you have in mind?" Blaine asked with a small laugh and Kurt grinned.

"Oh I think you know." He said cheekily as he leaned forward and sealed their lips together.

Blaine kissed him back, opening his mouth a little as Kurt's tongue ran across his lip. His big smile broke the kiss though and he pulled back slightly.

"Oh so this is the plan?" He asked and Kurt nodded immediately.

"Unless you want to watch another movie?"

"I think the change of plans is perfect."

"I thought you might."

Blaine took the key out of Kurt's fingers and placed it on the table in front of the couch before pulling Kurt to his feet and dragging him to his bedroom. And Kurt laughed all the way.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Rachel had been surprised when Kurt had spoken to her about what Blaine had asked him, but she offered a smile and covered his hand with hers as he looked down a little nervously.

"It's ok Kurt," she told him, "you know I always figured that eventually you'd find your prince charming and move out."

"I don't want to leave you all alone here though." Kurt sighed and Rachel laughed a little.

"Who says I'll be alone?" She teased and he raised one eyebrow, "I was actually thinking of inviting Finn to stay."

"You were?"

"Yeah, I love him." She said with a small smile and Kurt grinned back at her.

"That's great," he said as he pulled her in for a hug, while she giggled, "I'm glad you found someone for yourself. Finn's a good guy Rachel."

"I know."

"So it's ok?" Kurt asked as he pulled away, but holding onto her hands, and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course, Kurt, I didn't expect you to live out the rest of your days with me," she said and he laughed with her, "especially now that you found someone so special."

"You're really the best friend I've ever had, Rachel Berry."

"You are too, Kurt."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

So he Kurt was, after another month, sorting through boxes of things to place around Blaine's apartment. Blaine had been ecstatic when Kurt had told him that he would move in, and showed his enthusiasm for it in many ways that night.

As he was sorting through the closet and dividing their clothes, he thought about Blaine. He had been so gracious when Kurt had moved in, only 3 days prior. He offered to help Kurt sort through his things, which was great but Kurt refused, knowing he had to put things where he wanted them to go and Blaine agreed with him.

Their relationship hadn't really changed all that much, they were sharing everything, bills, food, chores. And never really argued at all, apart from that time that Blaine left a damp towel in the bathroom on the floor, which Kurt then threw at him. Other than that, they were perfectly happy to be together.

Kurt just hoped that would stay perfect, but he knew that the arguments would start when they had been sharing space for a while. He wasn't looking forward to fights, but what was a relationship without an argument.

Their first anniversary was fast approaching, and Kurt had no idea what the plans were for celebrating it. He was trying to think of something that they could do together, but he kept coming up blank. Over the last year of being together they had actually done quite a lot of different things together. 

He thought about maybe surprising Blaine with a small party, but then he wouldn't know who to invite to that. Blaine didn't really get along with most of his family, only his brother, and Kurt hadn't really met him before. And he only knew a few of Blaine's friends from college.

So the party idea was out. Now what?

He had spoken to Blaine a few weeks ago about plans, but Blaine had no ideas either. So they were stuck with what to do.

Rachel and Finn had also moved in together, and that seemed to be going well too, so Rachel had proclaimed. He had asked Rachel's opinion on what to do for their anniversary but she drew a blank too. So all in all Kurt was stuck for ideas.

Maybe they should go out, a romantic meal, maybe a walk? But they had done that a lot of times already. Kurt had improved around crowds of people that was true, but he still wasn't all that comfortable with clubs and throngs of people dancing.

He sighed as he placed his jacket up in the closet, this was difficult. Maybe it should be a joint decision. It was for both of them, so it wasn't really a surprise worthy event. 

After he had finished the last of the boxes he flattened them and left them by the rubbish bin in the small kitchen to get rid of later, and made himself a coffee. He didn't have work until later, and he had a week to go to think about something to do for Blaine. But what?

"Hello?" 

Kurt turned at Blaine's voice from the doorway, and smiled, he had been so wrapped inside his won head he didn't hear him come in.

"Hey," he greeted in return and Blaine smiled before walking up to hug him, which Kurt gladly returned before pulling back, "coffee?"

"I would love one." Blaine said as he placed a small kiss against his cheek before moving to the refrigerator, "so our anniversary is next week, any plans yet?"

"None I can think of, I've been racking my brain for hours." Kurt said a little sourly and Blaine chuckled behind him.

"Don't worry Kurt, I'm sure that whatever we do, it will be special because it's us. You and me, that's all I want." Blaine explained with that loving look on his face, the one that made Kurt's insides warm up a little, and he smiled back at him.

"It will be special, you're right." Kurt sighed, offering Blaine the coffee, "I guess I just wanted the plans to be different too. Something we haven't done."

"Well, I know something we haven't done," Blaine started and watched as Kurt stiffened slightly, obviously thinking Blaine was going to bring up sex, which he wasn't, "we could take a trip away?"

"A trip?" Kurt asked as he relaxed a little, which Blaine noticed and threw him a knowing smile.

"Yeah, come away with me for the weekend, I know it's short notice but it's something we haven't done, or even discussed, and I thought it could be fun."

Kurt tilted his head as he watched Blaine's face light up slightly at the idea. And he couldn't help the way his whole body seemed to vibrate with excitement. He nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I think it would be fun." He agreed and then accepted Blaine's arms around him, and a kiss on his lips.

This would be a trip to remember, for both of them.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Rhode island is where they decided to go, once they received the ok from both of their work places, and they headed out on the Friday after their anniversary which was the Thursday, they both spent a night in, made dinner together and watched dozens of movies before going to bed. 

Sex wasn't a big deal to either of them, so that night they didn't do anything but kiss and say goodnight, which for Kurt was really nice. This weekend however Kurt was thinking deeply about maybe taking that last step. He had been thinking about it for a while, he was a lot more comfortable with the thought now, and he would imagine it would be something so special and spectacular because it would be with somebody he really loved.

Blaine never talked about it, because he didn't want to seem pushy, Kurt knew that, which was one of the reasons he had been thinking about it. Blaine had been patient, and although they loved whatever they did together, there was this pull that Kurt couldn't ignore. 

He actually wanted to do it.

They were staying in a place called Castle Hill Inn in Newport, and the sights were beautiful. It was huge and spacious, and it overlooked a cove. It was going to be a very sunny and warm weekend, and they had their own private little beach to walk along. 

Their room was one of the beach houses, and it was so clean and tidy, Kurt felt like their presence was tainting it, but that was silly he knew. It was all theirs for the weekend, and Kurt couldn't wait. 

They placed their suitcases in the room and then made their way out of the doors, and down to the beach as soon as they could. It was amazing and the air was so clear and fresh out here. They walked along the beach a little way holding hands, and then watched some people in the water for a moment. 

"It's beautiful out here." Kurt told him and Blaine nodded as they decided to take a seat on the sand and just be still for a while.

"It really is," Blaine replied with his own little smile, "I've only been here once before, with a bunch of friends of mine. It's a huge change from the bustle of the city."

"Yeah."

"I heard there was a karaoke night up in the main building this weekend, a live band and everything." Blaine told him and Kurt raised an eyebrow at the childish look on his boyfriend's face and chuckled.

"Well I guess that's what we're doing tonight?"

Blaine laughed to himself a little while running a hand through his hair.

"You know me too well." He said and Kurt sighed a little as he took his hand, threading their fingers together.

"I like to think I do."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kurt was turned on. He really was. Watching his boyfriend up on the little stage in the hotel, singing with so much passion. Blaine was a little tipsy, having had a couple of drinks, while Kurt just indulged himself in a little bit of rum and coke, he didn't really drink, but he would make an exception for being on a weekend getaway.

Blaine was dancing around on the stage a little, singing with such exuberance and passion that it made Kurt blush a little. And the song he was singing only made him hotter.

"I know I laughed when you left  
But now I know I only hurt myself,

Oh, oh, bring it to me  
Bring your sweet loving  
Bring it on home to me  
Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"I'll give you jewelry and money too  
That ain't all, that ain't all I'll do for you,

Oh, if bring it to me  
Bring your sweet loving  
Bring it on home to me  
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah."

Kurt felt his face flush as Blaine looked his way across the other people around the tables in the room, and he found he couldn't look away from that heated gaze.

"You know I'll always be your slave  
'Till I'm buried, buried in my grave  
Oh, honey bring it to me  
Bring your sweet loving  
Bring it on home to me!"

"If you ever change your mind  
About leaving, leaving me behind,

Oh, oh, bring it to me  
Bring your sweet loving  
Bring it on home to me  
Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

The crowds around Kurt stood up in applause as his boyfriend bowed slightly and then stepped off the stage, making his way over to their table. Kurt couldn't move though, and he was stuck. He knew if he stood up, he would flash something he would rather not have people know about. 

His reaction only cemented further in his mind about what would happen this weekend. His final decision was that yes he would be having sexual intercourse with his boyfriend tonight.

Blaine gave him a huge smile as he sat beside him, and noticed the blush on Kurt's cheeks before flushing a little himself.

"Good?" he asked a little breathlessly, and Kurt stared straight into his eyes, a sort of knowing look passed between them and they both got lost in the other's gazes for a few moments before Kurt nodded.

"Yeah, good."


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaine first time XD Hope you enjoy

It helped Kurt's decision along with what Blaine was wearing, his skinny jeans showed off those muscular thighs that Kurt loved, and his ass. Blaine's shirt was dark blue too, and the buttons had been opened when he was hot, and the white vest underneath it was a little damp because of the sweating. 

Kurt just found him irresistible right now. As they made their walk back from the main hotel and back to their own Beach house, he kept giving Blaine shy, wanting looks. Which his boyfriend was returning, obviously.

Once at their place, Blaine removed his shirt, claiming that it was too hot now, and Kurt couldn't agree more as he removed his own, before removing his undershirt too. Blaine's eyes were following the movement, and Kurt had never felt more desirable than he did underneath his boyfriend's heated gaze.

Those warm honey coloured eyes, that shone in the low light of the lamp across the room, followed him around as he removed his belt and then his shoes, and sat on the bed. He watched as Blaine removed his own shoes, belt and vest, not once breaking their eye contact.

Kurt beckoned him over to the bed once Blaine stood for a moment, wondering what the next move should be and Blaine finally got the picture. He sat on the bed next to Kurt, and ran his hand from Kurt's neck over his shoulder and down his arm, causing him to shiver slightly. 

Kurt's eyes closed as Blaine moved closer, and he felt light kisses being placed along his jaw and then down the column of his neck, before he turned his head to gently nudge at Blaine's. His boyfriend lifted his face to look into his eyes, which were staring openly and vulnerably at him. 

Kurt made the move, cupping Blaine's face with one hand and bringing their lips together. It was an instant reaction, Blaine opening his lips for Kurt to intrude, which he did. They both groaned as Kurt's tongue ran alongside Blaine's in his mouth, it was slow and sensual and sweet. Although not lacking passion.

When Kurt pulled away, there was a little bit of saliva still connecting them, which he swiped away with a laugh before looking into his boyfriend's eyes, which had darkened considerably.

"Blaine," he started and Blaine's eyes shot between his mouth and his eyes, "can we talk for a minute?"

"Sure." came the reply almost automatically but not really there and Kurt chuckled as he placed both hands on his boyfriend's face to focus his gaze on his eyes and not his lips.

"Blaine," Kurt repeated and now that his boyfriend's eyes were more focused he continued with a small smile, "I'm not sure I'll be that comfortable with being...on the bottom bunk...so to speak."

Blaine's eyes widened a little and he nodded while cupping Kurt's hands with his own.

"Do you mind...?" Kurt asked, without finishing his sentence and Blaine's gaze softened.

"No, I don't mind. I absolutely don't mind." Blaine said almost too excitedly and Kurt brought their mouths back together slowly.

They had made an unconscious decision between them to keep their gazes locked, and as they kissed and moved back onto the bed it remained that way. Kurt could see all of the emotions flicker through Blaine's eyes after every small motion or movement, and Blaine could probably see the same.

Kurt was a little nervous, but he wasn't afraid, which was a big deal. He smiled as Blaine settled on top of him, aligning their bodies in a way that had every part of each other touching. Chests, stomachs, legs, hips, everything was touching the same on each side, and Blaine began to rock his hips against Kurt's while watching him.

Kurt's mouth opened in a silent moan as their lips parted, and he didn't pull his eyes away from the warm comforting ones of his boyfriend above him. He rocked his hips in time with Blaine's, feeling the erection through his jeans and grinding his own up against him.

It became uncomfortable after a while, and Blaine ran one hand from the bottom of Kurt's neck, over his chest, flicking a nipple with his thumb pad, and then slowly following the path down the middle of Kurt's stomach, to stop at his jeans. With their eyes still locked onto each other, it was easy for Blaine to gain permission to undo them, nothing needed to be voiced, everything they wanted to convey to the other was all in their eyes.

Once Kurt's jeans hit the floor beside the bed, Blaine still kept eye contact as he removed his own. Kurt saw the nervous little flicker in those warm molten depths and quickly moved his hands to Blaine's waist and pulled at his underwear until they followed the jeans. Blaine made his way down Kurt's chest with his mouth, moaning into his skin and licking and sucking marks into it, keeping his eyes on Kurt's as he descended more and more.

When he reached Kurt's underwear there wasn't a pause, in fact, he watched Kurt's face with a cheeky smile as he pulled them slowly down his hips. Kurt smiled back down at him as he watched, and even when his face flushed red with slight embarrassment he didn't look away, he couldn't, it was like an unspoken agreement.

When the underwear was flung off the end of the bed, Blaine continued his ministrations on every part of flesh and skin he could get to, Kurt's breath hitching every time his breath ghosted over the hot hard erection that had been freed.

Blaine wasn't trying to tease him, Kurt knew that, but as he flickered back over one of his inner thighs, fingers gently brushing against the side of his erection, he almost growled at Blaine to get on with it if he was going there. But he held his tongue, because the worship was unlike anything he had felt from Blaine before, and the eye contact made it that much more pleasurable and sharper.

"Blaine..." he sighed out as Blaine flicked the tip of his tongue against the hot flesh of Kurt's erection, before grinning up at him, and Kurt sat up whilst still watching his boyfriend.

When Blaine's mouth was about to sink over his cock, Kurt placed a hand against Blaine's shoulder to stop him and his boyfriend paused, a flicker of confusion in his eyes, but as Kurt smiled and gestured for him to lay down beside him he smiled back.

Once Blaine was laying down on the bed it was Kurt's turn. he held his boyfriend's gaze with his own heated eyes as he leaned over him, running his hands over his toned arms, and across his chest, before stopping at Blaine's rib cage and then allowing his mouth to map a path along his boyfriend's skin. 

Blaine groaned above him and Kurt could see the desire in his eyes, as he ran his tongue over the grooves and contours of each of his muscles before flickering his tongue into his belly button, earning a rather surprised gasp out of Blaine's mouth.

He kept their gazes locked as he made his way down to those sinful hips of Blaine's, that framed that incredibly delicious looking 'V' that bordered his bright red, hard and flushing erection. Kurt smiled up at him while marking up his hip bones, and running his tongue along each groove of that 'V'. 

Blaine's hand moved into Kurt's hair as he came to a stop just above his erection, not pushing or pulling just resting in Kurt's hair, and as Kurt bent down to place a kiss against the tip, Blaine almost bucked up with a loud moan.

He engulfed the full erection in one go, Blaine wasn't expecting it, as his eyes widened and he gasped out a string of curse words, which made Kurt's own erection throb slightly between his own legs.

"Kurt..." He breathed out and Kurt kept his dark blue eyes on him as he pulled off slowly and then sank back down, "d-don't baby...I'm gonna- not gonna l-last."

Kurt pulled off after one last suck and then sat back on his knees while running his hands over Blaine's thighs, before resting his hands at the delve of his hips, pressing his thumbs into the 'V' and watching Blaine bite his bottom lip.

"We have lube right?" Kurt asked quietly, also feeling a little out of breath at the amount of passion and love that surrounded the room, and Blaine only nodded as he gestured to the suitcase, without his eyes leaving Kurt's.

As Kurt got off the bed, he had to break eye contact, while he searched for both the lube and a condom in the suitcase, before making his way back to the bed. He lay beside Blaine and locked their gazes again, as he flicked the cap open. Blaine's body relaxed against his as they kissed, tongues once again dancing, and gazes flickering between excited, nervousness and love.

"Please...Kurt," Blaine sighed out between kisses, "please...can you...?"

"Yeah." came Kurt's breath reply and Blaine brought his legs up, resting the soles of his feet against the bed and Kurt sat up to kneel between them. 

Their smiles were bright and trusting as they moved together, Kurt covering his fingers with a little bit of lubricant, warming it by rubbing it slightly, before letting his hand fall between Blaine's thighs. He felt around for the place he needed to go, while keeping his eyes on Blaine's the whole time, Blaine had trouble keeping his eyes on Kurt's but he managed it as Kurt's finger found his entrance and began massaging around the skin there.

Blaine's sigh was encouraging, and Kurt rubbed around and around, relaxing the taut skin before pushing his first digit through and inside Blaine. Blaine moaned low in his chest, and it reverberated through to Kurt's body, and made him shiver.

The feeling of Blaine's body, soft warm and silky around his finger was incredible. He had no idea that it would feel like this. He pushed against the little bit of resistance he found, keeping his eyes on Blaine's for any sign that he should stop, but receiving none he kept going until his finger was inside Blaine's ass as far as it could go.

Blaine's hips shook a little as Kurt pulled and pushed around with one finger, before the slowly movement of Blaine's hips had him pausing. Blaine was tilting his hips to push against the finger inside of him, and Kurt eventually got the message of what he should be doing. He dragged it out a little, feeling the tightness of the walls inside trying to suck it back in, before pushing in again.

Blaine's little moans became like music, and it was intoxicating for Kurt. The feel of the slide of his finger, the gaze so warm and trusting on him, and Blaine's body's movements so hypnotic. It was like a phenomenon that only Kurt was able to witness.

"Add another..." Blaine said quietly when the finger inside him was pumping without any resistance, and Kurt nodded, watching Blaine's face as he added more lube and placed his second finger alongside the first as he pulled it out.

There was a little more resistance at the push of two, but Blaine's moan and the look on his face, told Kurt that it didn't hurt, and he pushed inside. Wow, the sensation around two was better than one, and Kurt couldn't help but moan himself while thinking what it would be like around hiss cock.

Blaine pulled at his other arm, wanting Kurt closer as he fingered him open, and Kurt obliged with a small smile and melted against his boyfriend. He kept their hips apart while he was still busy pumping his fingers in and out slowly, and Blaine kissed him as he lay with him.

Blaine pulled back from the kiss and took Kurt's other hand within his own and showing Kurt with those fingers what he should be doing with the ones inside him. He crooked them upwards and then nodded at Kurt, and Kurt turned his fingers inside Blaine and did the same.

Blaine shuddered and the sound that came out of his mouth was extremely sinful sounding, it made Kurt almost come right then. Kurt's eyes must have widened in wonder because Blaine's gaze softened and he let Kurt know with one look that it was meant to happen and it was ok.

"I think I might be ready now," Blaine told him, holding Kurt's cheek with one hand, "if you hit that spot inside me a lot, then it won't be painful ok?"

"Ok." Kurt agreed and then withdrew his fingers, which came out surprisingly easy.

He fumbled around with the condom until Blaine helped him put it on, gazes locked again as a silly grin came over Blaine's face. Kurt only chuckled a little and rolled his eyes before kissing him again, softly and slowly, as he moved his legs in between Blaine's. Blaine lifted one of his thighs and placed it around Kurt's hips, lining them up a little better, and Kurt looked away from Blaine's eyes for a second, while gripping himself steady in hand.

The initial push in was a disaster, he kept slipping and Blaine kept giggling softly. Kurt wanted to give up because of his embarrassment but Blaine had an idea and grabbed both of Kurt's arms and spun them over, so that Blaine was straddling his hips.

"This might be easier." was his only explanation as he gripped Kurt's erection in his own hand and lifted himself up, he kept Kurt steady while rolling his hips until he got the perfect position. 

As Blaine lowered himself over Kurt, Kurt's first thought was, too tight...gonna come....but when Blaine paused to give them both a second to adjust, all Kurt could think was warm, tight, home.

Blaine sank all the way down after a few minutes and then stopped as his ass rested on the top of Kurt's thighs. Kurt was watching his face, Blaine's chest was heaving a little with his panting, trying to keep himself in control. Kurt placed his hands shakily against Blaine's hips and rubbed his thumbs over them in circles.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked quietly as Blaine panted above him, wanting more than anything to move into the tight heat surrounded his cock, but waiting for Blaine to give him the ok.

Blaine nodded slowly and then moved his hips around experimentally.

"Yeah, I'm ok," he sighed and then gave Kurt a blinding smile, which he returned, "you can move now baby."

"How?" Kurt asked a little nervously now and Blaine laughed a little as he bent at the waist and placed his hands above Kurt on the pillow.

"Move your hips until it feels right baby," Blaine said while he stared into those dark blue eyes, his entire body flooded with heat, "I'll tell you if you hurt me, I promise, but I know you won't."

"Ok."

Kurt moved his hips a little, rolling them and feeling the tightness around him give a little. Blaine shuddered again and moaned against his face, blowing hot air against his cheek, and Kurt placed both his hands around Blaine's back, feeling the muscles underneath his fingers twitching as he moved.

The thrusts were shallow, almost grinding at first, but as Blaine opened up and started moaning more and more the thrusts got a little harder. Their eyes hadn't left the others while everything was happening, and Kurt couldn't resist anymore. With a few hard thrusts he came into the condom with a long drawn out groan and then Blaine smiled down at him before connecting their lips.

He moved his hips up and down a few more times, while bringing one of Kurt's hands to his neglected and still very hard erection, which Kurt began pumping immediately. Blaine sighed into Kurt's mouth, opening his lips a little more for a probing tongue and Kurt started to thrust into him while he was still a little hard, even though it was getting a little over sensitive.

Blaine spasmed on top of him and thrust against Kurt's hand and then back onto his cock, and then his breath hitched as he came on their stomachs. As Blaine shivered and stopped his movements, Kurt felt a little surreal. Wow this actually happened. He had just had sex with his boyfriend.

He couldn't help the pleased and tired smile that spread across his face, and Blaine caught his breath above him before moving off. Kurt hissed as he was released from Blaine's body, and then pulled the condom off of himself as he faced Blaine, who lay down beside him with his own smile.

"So, how was your very first time?" Blaine asked in his low gravelly but loving voice, he sounded so tired and Kurt chuckled a little.

"Fucking amazing." He breathed out and then leaned in to kiss the smug looking grin off of his boyfriend's face, "happy anniversary baby."


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is the very last chapter, kind of an epilogue.
> 
> I want to thank each and every one of my readers and friends and fans, without comments and likes and love, this wouldn't have been what it is. Thank you from the bottom of my little heart xxxx
> 
> Hope to see all of you again with a new fic soon. Take care everyone!
> 
> And I hope you enjoyed the ride, I certainly did! XD

6 years later....

It was amazing, watching Blaine and Rachel up on stage, singing and performing for the huge crowd in front of them. Kurt sat with Finn off to the side, hidden from view of the stage, but he could see the play perfectly from this position. 

Sara: If true love is here, then it's where I'm meant to be   
It will stay this way, if you stay with me

Milo: Forever, my darling

Sara: Troubles we have faced and overcome  
We're moving forward, now they're non existent

Milo: Don't look back my love, what's done is done

Together: Moving on, with you at my side,   
there's nothing I want more  
For here in your arms is my perfect place

Sara: It will be perfect, sweetheart

Together: For ever more!

It was over and the standing ovation was so loud. Kurt stood to his feet with Finn and the rest of the audience, clapping and whooping loudly with everyone for his husband and his best friend. Rachel and Blaine had made big names for themselves over the past year, and Kurt and Finn couldn't have been more proud of them both.

Finn whistled loudly beside him and Kurt laughed delightedly, remembering back when he and Blaine first approached the idea of their own show. Blaine had written it when he had graduated from Nyada, it was set it Italy. The leading lady, Sara Whiteman, played by Rachel, was a down trodden, shy, lonely woman who married out of loyalty and convenience to a man that didn't deserve her love. 

Blaine played Milo Vienno, an Italian performer that she meets in the lobby of the hotel on her honeymoon trip. He treats her how her husband never did, and eventually gives her the courage and strength to think for herself and leave her husband. 

Sara and Milo start an affair and all through the play they conveyed a message about love and loyalty, and that you have to sometimes think about yourself and your heart. Milo and Sara fall in love and end the play with confessing and her moving to Italy to be with him. 

Kurt had helped Blaine plan out everything else for his play, like costumes and sets and songs, and they had it all planned out about 5 months after their first anniversary celebration. Once everything was ironed out they had approached Rachel about it and she squealed with excitement over the idea, and also thanked them for thinking of her for the part of Sara.

Rachel claimed that she knew a couple of people that she went to Nyada with who had connections to a big Broadway producer company, and she asked if they would allow her to take the idea to them. which of course they gave her.

In the next 2 years, Blaine and Kurt had been married, so had Rachel and Finn, and the idea of the play got passed over quite a lot. They had started to lose hope that it would ever be picked up and cast, but after another 6 months sitting on a shelf in the department, an off Broadway company got involved with it and decided to run the idea.

Blaine and Rachel were both cast as lead roles, and rehearsals and auditions started immediately. After another 5 months the producers and the department had enough cast, props and script to make it. Once it was played a few times, the buzz around the Broadway community about it was incredible. A lot of other directors and producers came to see it and it got passed over to actual Broadway companies, who then reopened it as Broadway show. 

The media went crazy after the first review called it amazing, breathtaking and stunning, and then it became a huge hit. Finn and Kurt were both there for opening night, and had big smiles on their faces as they watched every scene diligently. 

The show had been playing now for just over a year, and Rachel and Blaine made headlines together as the Broadway Platonic Power Couple. Tonight though was their last performance, their closing show.

And they both had decided to take a break from Broadway for a while, because Rachel had agreed to be their surrogate and was already 5 months pregnant with their first child, a little girl.

Finn hadn't had any complaints about Rachel's decision to be their surrogate, he had agreed with her that it was her body and time and decision, which he supported all the way. And after hours of screening , days of blood work and tests, months of treatment and implantation, she finally became pregnant and they would be daddies in May next year.

With Blaine and Rachel making so much buzz in the media, obviously their stories and lives were invaded a little bit and through interviews and press releases, it became clear that Rachel was having the baby for Blaine and his husband, Kurt. Kurt and Finn had both been interviewed with them on occasion, but they were ever devoted and loyal husbands.

Kurt's life had been one big explosion after another in the last few years too, he had made quite the name for himself as an artist in New York. Many art dealers now knew him by names, his paintings and art pieces reached thousands o dollars at most shows in the area, he had his own studio in which to paint. And he was doing pretty well with being an artist, especially having a very close friend like, Mr Daniel Schoman, in his life too.

About a year and a half ago though, Kurt's artistry and flare for detail in his design pieces, claimed the attention of some film companies, out in L.A, who offered him a lot of money for creating backgrounds and sets for them. Kurt had taken the offer, who in their right mind would refuse millions of dollars to work in the background of movies. 

It was kept on the down low though, nobody really knew about his involvement with quite a few big movie franchises, and Kurt liked to keep it that way. Only Blaine, Rachel and Finn knew about it.

Kurt often spent weeks in L.A, working, while Blaine was still performing most nights on Broadway, but his contractual agreements had ended and before renewing them he wanted some time to be here in New York, with his husband raising their daughter together in the coming years. He was quite wealthy and wasn't in need of anything but time now. 

His manager and the companies he worked for all agreed that he had earned his time off, and he knew he could always go back to them, a job waiting for his return. As it was, Blaine didn't know that Kurt had managed to get home early this time.

He had looked so down and crushed on skype when Kurt had told his husband that he might not make it back for the closing show, but with extra hard work he had, and he wanted to surprise his husband. Finn met him at the airport while Blaine and Rachel were in last rehearsals that afternoon, and had dinner together before going to the theater that night to watch them perform their last show.

Coming back to present, as the final curtain went down, Finn took Kurt with him back to behind the scenes, the staff and security all knew who they were by name and face now, and Kurt took the bouquet of red and yellow roses from one of the people back stage who had offered to look after the flowers until he needed them.

Finn gave him a pat on the back and then turned to walk to Rachel's dressing room, while Kurt took the left side to Blaine's. He received a nod from the guy outside that told him Blaine was already in there, and Kurt didn't knock. He opened the door slightly and as quietly as he could.

His husband was by the mirror taking off the stage makeup and trying to remove bits of it from the beard he had to grow for the role. Blaine looked great with a slight beard and curly hair cut short, older and more distinguished, and incredibly handsome. It suited him, but Blaine never liked it, claiming that it made his face itchy.

Blaine's face however in the mirror, from what Kurt could see, looked sad, and he felt a little bad about the lie he told before putting a big happy smile on and then knocking on the already open door. The moment Blaine's eyes flickered to him in the mirror, a huge surprised and happy smile split across his face and he turned in his chair.

"Kurt!" He yelled loudly, and stumbled across the room to fling his arms around Kurt, who stumbled as well trying to keep them from falling over, "You're here, you're actually here."

"You didn't think I'd miss your last show, did you honey?" Kurt asked as he gave Blaine the big bunch of roses and Blaine took them with a shy smile, before leaning up and kissing Kurt's lips.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds because as they were about to deepen it, the door burst open again and Rachel came flying in, locking her eyes on them and immediately jumping on Kurt, her small round baby bump pressing against his side.

"Rachel!" Finn called from the doorway alarmed, and Blaine's and Kurt's eyes widened.

"Careful Rach!" Blaine nearly scolded her about being careful in her condition but she ignored both of them and threw her arms around Kurt's neck.

"You made it back." She said and he wrapped his own arms around her waist, the bump now pressing against the bottom of his abdomen.

"I did, I'm so proud of you both." Kurt said as he pulled back, giving his husband and his best friend, a big smile each.

Rachel promptly began blubbering and crying.

"Aw, honey don't cry." Kurt shushed her as he placed an arm around her back and she sniffed loudly.

"These damn hormones." She mumbled and then everyone laughed.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

There had been an after party set up for a final farewell to Rachel and Blaine, and Kurt decided they should all make an appearance, to not seem rude, and talk and be amongst the Broadway community and the media. Blaine and Rachel both, were accosted as soon as they walked in the entrance and were brought around to many different people for congratulations and goodbyes, and then there were all different people to interview their last night. 

Kurt hadn't seen or touched his husband in person for weeks, and he became a little grumpy that he only got a little bit of time with him before they were separated again. He and Finn were being patient, but Kurt was tired from his flight and then the waiting around. 

He must have had a grumpy look on his face because Finn laughed beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Kurt, at the end of the night, you'll be home and holding your boy." he said and Kurt felt a little better about that as he gave him a grin in return.

After a few well meaning speeches and congratulatory drinks, except for Rachel, they made their way out to where Rachel's town car was waiting for them. Kurt couldn't wait as the car pulled up to drop them off at their brown stone house on the upper east side, a place they had bought between them 2 years prior, and they hugged and kissed Rachel and Fin goodbye and waved them off on their way.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Blaine made a beeline for the bathroom, and Kurt followed after him a little confused. Feeling a little disappointed at no touches or kisses, until he saw what Blaine was doing. He smiled as he watched his husband set about trying to get rid of his beard, and he laughed from the doorway.

"I've wanted rid of this thing for weeks," Blaine said as he trimmed the longest parts, "it's annoying me."

"Let me help." Kurt said as he moved to help cut, lather and shave it off for Blaine.

After his face was all clean and smooth again, he brought Blaine's face in to connect their lips. Finally.

He pressed closer to Blaine and kissed harder, forcing his husband to open his lips for his roving tongue, and he moaned at the taste of Blaine's mouth, a taste he hadn't had for weeks now. Blaine pulled back with a very smug and sexy grin, that made Kurt's insides jump a little with excitement.

"Mm, I've missed you." Blaine mumbled against his lips, diving back in for another passion filled kiss.

"I've missed you too." Kurt replied when they parted again, and before he could kiss him again Blaine smiled and stood back, holding one of Kurt's hands.

"I want to show you something." he said and Kurt felt a salacious grin spread across his own face.

"I want to show you something too." He all but growled and Blaine laughed before pulling Kurt along by his hand.

"Mind out of the gutter, baby," he said gently, and then made his way out of the bathroom and up the stairs, Kurt following along with an excited look, "come with me."

"What is it?" Kurt asked as they bypassed their bedroom, heading for the other one, which would be the baby's.

Blaine only turned to smile at him and then pushed the door of the nursery open, pulling Kurt inside and flicking the light on. 

Kurt's eyes were instantly drawn to one wall, which had been covered in line work, harsh black against stark white paper, that made Kurt do a double take. He walked closer, Blaine releasing his hand as he stood and watched him.   
Kurt couldn't actually believe what he was seeing.

It was his art, a lot of his old works and some newer ones, all over the wall, and it looked beautiful. There were faces too, his mother's, his dad's, Blaine's and Kurt's, Rachel's, Finn's. There was a tree in the middle of the wall, at the bottom, an oak tree it was, but instead of growing acorns it had peppermint candies along the branches. It was The Peppermint Tree, one of Kurt's recent art works.

"You- you-?"

"I had help," Blaine explained with a small smile, as he watched Kurt reached out a hand and run it over all of the artwork, "your friend Lara jumped at the chance to help me copy your work for the wall."

"It's amazing." Kurt said as his eyes took in all of the lines.

"I thought as she grows up, maybe she could colour it for us?" Blaine said and Kurt threw him a smile before his eyes found something interesting.

It was a small section just over the head of the crib that had been set up before he left, it was part of a big art piece he did called Rainy Day, it was trees and flowers covered in dew drops and there were droplets of rain all over it. Just like his art.

"Rainy day." he mumbled and Blaine laughed.

"Rainy day, the first one you ever sold."

Kurt touched along all of his art work and tried to hold back tears, which Blaine noticed and he stepped forward to place a hand against Kurt's shoulder with a small frown.

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked, fretting over what Kurt was thinking before his husband turned to him with a small sigh and a smile.

"Did you ever think that this would happen?" he asked and Blaine tilted his head while he listened patiently, "I just- our life is incredible. We have our own home, we're married, we're having a baby...did you ever think that dreams like these could be real?"

"Yes," Blaine replied, "the day I met you, I knew."

Kurt glanced at his husband, who was staring at him with big, open and honest eyes, and a wide smile. Kurt returned the look, and wiped at his face and eyes.

"That's cheesy." he said with a small laugh and Blaine shrugged.

"I like being cheesy," he replied and then placed himself against Kurt's side, wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning his chin on Kurt's shoulder, looking up at him with shiny golden brown eyes, "and I'm not the only one. What's your favourite colour again, Kurt?"

"Blaine."

"Now that is the biggest, cheesiest line that there ever was." Blaine laughed and snuggled against him.

Kurt smiled to himself and then looked around the artwork thoughtfully for a moment, Blaine patiently waiting for him to speak. And Kurt opened his mouth a few times, before sighing and running a hand over the wooden end of the crib they were standing in front of.

"I have a name for her." he said quietly and Blaine looked up into his face.

"Yeah?"

"How about Rayne?" He asked and Blaine looked back to the wall of art, smiled and placed a kiss against Kurt's cheek, earning himself a big happy smile in return.

"I like it."


End file.
